dorothy_gale's review against another edition
5.0
5★: I HOPE THIS BOOK IS A CATALYST FOR COLLAPSING THE MONARCHY!!! I placed this audiobook on hold on 10/31/22 and was 25th in line in my county for its 1/10/23 release. For some stupid reason, our library didn’t release it until the morning of Friday the 13th (and over 1,800 people were waiting by that point). 1/13 happened to coincide with my first day of a new job, so I didn’t start it until 1/14.
MY BACKGROUND WITH THE ROYALS: I came into this book with VERY LITTLE knowledge of the monarchy and was never one to follow the royals. Although in August of 1997, I was surprised at how upset I was when Princess Diana was chased to her death by paparazzi. I was 19 and was staying at my 78yo Grandma Carrie’s house that summer after she had started having health problems, and remember seeing it all over the news: ALL THE MOURNERS, ALL THE FLOWERS! I’ve heard there were 60 million flowers amounting to over 10 tons! To this day, I still think her death was tragically unfair. I was 28 in April 2006 on a business trip to London, close to when 21yo Harry graduated from Royal Military Academy Sandhurst (about an hour away), but I was completely oblivious at the time. I do remember that the local news was abuzz about the Queen’s upcoming 80th birthday that month. And in January of 2020, it was hard to avoid the headlines when Harry and Megan announced they were stepping down from their roles as senior members of the Royal Family. The same goes for headlines mentioning racism in March of 2021 when they sat down with Oprah for an interview. But I didn’t read the stories, nor have I watched that interview (yet). Despite my lack of royal interest my entire life, I couldn’t help but have sympathy for both boys losing their mom -- and if the black sheep of the Royal Family was writing a tell-all*, how could this fellow black sheep pass it up⁉
WARNING!!! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS UNHIDDEN SPOILERS
The very first clue I had to both Harry’s character and his rigorous honesty was when he described regular outbreaks of lice at his Ludgrove School in London -- with ZERO shame or embarrassment. He maintained that endearing candor throughout the entire book.
By the time I got 8% of the way in, I knew it was going to be a 5-star memoir. It was Chapter 11 when he described a trip to South Africa with his dad -- specifically the experience of having South African historian David Rattray retell the Battle of Rorke’s Drift. Harry had known the British legend version of 150 Brits up against 4,000 Zulus, but Rattray was known as “the white Zulu” and told a more realistic account. These quotes told me that Harry was raised to perpetuate racism as a child, but by publishing time at age 38 was facing his white and royal privilege head on:
In Chapter 13, I heard Harry’s heartwarming description of his childhood best mate in his own voice:
By Chapter 20, it was the second or third time he would mention his memory, and as someone who struggles with memory, I really appreciated it:
Harry also shared the kind of details that aren’t sensational enough for the media but were significant... his relationship with books, his insecurity about being a ginger, how he got his various nicknames, and his fear of the dark to name a few. And more touching to me were all his animal stories. A leopard, deer, cows, elephants, rhino, a fox and more.
Chapter 24 made me tremendously sad. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he lost his lovely mother at such a young age, he had to navigate his grief in the most atrociously cold environment:
Chapter 26 mentioned that they always wore seatbelts after his Mummy’s disappearance.
Chapter 27 discussed being good to animals, to nature, and to the community. He said those virtues had been preached to him, so the royal upbringing wasn’t ALL bad. He also talked in graphic detail about his fear of ticks. It was amusing but also VERY convincing.
In Chapter 28 and over three years after Princess Diana’s crash, he finally shared his theory with his brother that his Mum was in hiding. William (“Willy”) admitted to having a similar theory once, but said “She's gone, Harold.” All this time, he had referred to her death as her “disappearance” and I REALLY felt it. I listened wanting her to still be alive! When I was 14, my 50yo aunt died. I never got to see her body and I still have dreams that she comes back and hadn’t really died but had chosen to disappear.
In Chapter 31 it gets more intense. He says something like: ‘Maybe this is the day. Maybe she will reappear this morning. It had been four years after all. Surely she had established herself by now. New life, new identity. Hold a press conference, shock the world:’ “William, Harry. If you can hear me, come to me.” He spoke of elaborate dreams... his mother wearing a disguise and he bumps into her. She’d be wearing a big blonde wig. In the dream he’d whisper: “Mummy, is that you?” He would wake disappointed, again. “But it blotted out enough that I was able to postpone the bulk of my grief. I still hadn’t mourned. I still hadn’t cried, except that one time at her grave. Still hadn’t processed the bare facts.”
In Chapter 37 he talked about the Queen at the last day of the Golden Jubilee: “I wanted to hug her, but of course I didn’t. Out of the question. I never had done, and couldn’t imagine any circumstance under which such an act might be sanctioned.”
Chapter 38 proved that Prince Charles wasn’t completely ignorant about his “Darling Boy” second-born. It was he who suggested the army to Harry for a career choice, and it turned out to be a winner. And sadly, this chapter brought another tragic, preventable death. No seatbelt.
Chapter 41 gave Harry my empathy on a new topic:
In Chapter 50 I learned just how shitty a brother poor Harry had. It was the costume scandal, but I also felt it was a set-up. WILLIAM AND KATE APPROVED OF THE COSTUME! Harry said “The shame would never fade, nor should it.” But the family piled it on, sending him to a holy man whose conversations had Harry feeling a “bottomless self-loathing.” Just horrendous!
Chapter 52 delivered a shock. Harry finally got to review the secret police files on his Mum’s crash, including photos. Diana looked unharmed and beautiful! I was not expecting that!
In Chapter 58, at the end of Part One, Harry spoke of how two true stories showed up in the press. This is about 29% of the way through the book, or 4.5 hours. With all the countless media stories Harry mentioned prior to this point, they were slam dunk debunks. Outrageous lies and malicious libel. But now, they knew they had a leak. He became paranoid, and instantly knew that his Mum was right to be paranoid. “No one was above suspicion.”
PART TWO covered his time in the military (4:39 to 10:18, or the middle 37%) and I stopped taking detailed notes. I’m happy that he got to do such great things and his experiences were so learning-rich. But Chapter 86 (about 10 hours or 65% into the book) had a GREAT story that took place at Courtney Cox’s house. Harry had a LOT of alcohol and drug stories in the book, but I felt this story was the only one worth mentioning: the mushrooms that kicked in while he was in the bathroom! The voices cracked me up -- I’m very happy that he narrated.
PART THREE covered meeting Megan, his growing discontent with both the media and the palace’s unwillingness to do anything about them, and their departure.
I’m disgusted by Prince Harry’s family -- mostly his dad and brother. Camilla definitely played a part too. They seriously have messed-up priorities. IMHO, the royals hang on to traditions and ceremonies that don’t mean a whole lot to the rest of humanity, and yet they have an EXORBITANT PRICE TAG. Not just financially, but mentally, emotionally, culturally. They are causing generational trauma. They are like a subsidized mafia, and their crimes are cultural and societal. Harry and many blamed the paparazzi for Diana’s death, but the public and the palace both allow them to operate. Feed them. Ugh.
I have far more sympathy and empathy for Prince Harry and Megan and their kids than I ever thought possible.
*We know it’s not a tell-all book. It’s 400 pages, and Harry has said that his original submittal was around 800 pages. I hope that, if his dad and brother don’t get their shit together, he publishes the second set. I’m definitely Team Harry. And I think this is my LONGEST.REVIEW.EVER!
MY BACKGROUND WITH THE ROYALS: I came into this book with VERY LITTLE knowledge of the monarchy and was never one to follow the royals. Although in August of 1997, I was surprised at how upset I was when Princess Diana was chased to her death by paparazzi. I was 19 and was staying at my 78yo Grandma Carrie’s house that summer after she had started having health problems, and remember seeing it all over the news: ALL THE MOURNERS, ALL THE FLOWERS! I’ve heard there were 60 million flowers amounting to over 10 tons! To this day, I still think her death was tragically unfair. I was 28 in April 2006 on a business trip to London, close to when 21yo Harry graduated from Royal Military Academy Sandhurst (about an hour away), but I was completely oblivious at the time. I do remember that the local news was abuzz about the Queen’s upcoming 80th birthday that month. And in January of 2020, it was hard to avoid the headlines when Harry and Megan announced they were stepping down from their roles as senior members of the Royal Family. The same goes for headlines mentioning racism in March of 2021 when they sat down with Oprah for an interview. But I didn’t read the stories, nor have I watched that interview (yet). Despite my lack of royal interest my entire life, I couldn’t help but have sympathy for both boys losing their mom -- and if the black sheep of the Royal Family was writing a tell-all*, how could this fellow black sheep pass it up⁉
WARNING!!! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS UNHIDDEN SPOILERS
The very first clue I had to both Harry’s character and his rigorous honesty was when he described regular outbreaks of lice at his Ludgrove School in London -- with ZERO shame or embarrassment. He maintained that endearing candor throughout the entire book.
By the time I got 8% of the way in, I knew it was going to be a 5-star memoir. It was Chapter 11 when he described a trip to South Africa with his dad -- specifically the experience of having South African historian David Rattray retell the Battle of Rorke’s Drift. Harry had known the British legend version of 150 Brits up against 4,000 Zulus, but Rattray was known as “the white Zulu” and told a more realistic account. These quotes told me that Harry was raised to perpetuate racism as a child, but by publishing time at age 38 was facing his white and royal privilege head on:
“Though a source of pride for many Britons, Rorke’s Drift was the outgrowth of Imperialism, Colonialism, Nationalism -- in short, theft. Great Britain was trespassing. Invading a sovereign nation and trying to steal it.”
“But I was too young. I heard him, and also didn’t hear.” // “I had a view of battle, of Britain, which didn’t permit new facts. So I zoomed in on the bits about manly courage and British power, and when I should’ve been horrified, I was inspired.”
In Chapter 13, I heard Harry’s heartwarming description of his childhood best mate in his own voice:
“Skinny with no muscles, and hair that stood up in permanent surrender, Henners was ALLLLLL heart. Whenever he smiled, people melted. He was the only boy who mentioned Mummy to me after she disappeared.”
By Chapter 20, it was the second or third time he would mention his memory, and as someone who struggles with memory, I really appreciated it:
“It struck me at some point that the whole basis of education was memory. A list of names, a column of numbers, a mathematical formula, a beautiful poem. To learn it, you have to upload it to the part of the brain that stored stuff. But that was the same part of my brain that I was resisting. My memory had been spotty since Mummy disappeared, by design. I didn’t want to fix it because memory equaled grief.”
Harry also shared the kind of details that aren’t sensational enough for the media but were significant... his relationship with books, his insecurity about being a ginger, how he got his various nicknames, and his fear of the dark to name a few. And more touching to me were all his animal stories. A leopard, deer, cows, elephants, rhino, a fox and more.
Chapter 24 made me tremendously sad. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he lost his lovely mother at such a young age, he had to navigate his grief in the most atrociously cold environment:
“As a royal, you were always taught to maintain a buffer zone between you and the rest of creation. Even working a crowd, you always kept a discrete distance between yourself, and them. Distance was right, distance was safe, distance was survival. Distance was an essential bit of being royal. No less than standing on the balcony, waving to the crowds outside Buckingham Palace, your family all around you. Of course, family included distance as well. No matter how much you might love someone, you could never cross that chasm between, say, monarch and child. Or Heir and Spare. Physically, but also emotionally. It wasn’t just Willy’s edict about giving him space. The older generation maintained a nearly zero tolerance prohibition on all physical contact. No hugs, no kisses, no pats. Now and then maybe a light touching of cheeks on special occasions.”
Chapter 26 mentioned that they always wore seatbelts after his Mummy’s disappearance.
Chapter 27 discussed being good to animals, to nature, and to the community. He said those virtues had been preached to him, so the royal upbringing wasn’t ALL bad. He also talked in graphic detail about his fear of ticks. It was amusing but also VERY convincing.
In Chapter 28 and over three years after Princess Diana’s crash, he finally shared his theory with his brother that his Mum was in hiding. William (“Willy”) admitted to having a similar theory once, but said “She's gone, Harold.” All this time, he had referred to her death as her “disappearance” and I REALLY felt it. I listened wanting her to still be alive! When I was 14, my 50yo aunt died. I never got to see her body and I still have dreams that she comes back and hadn’t really died but had chosen to disappear.
In Chapter 31 it gets more intense. He says something like: ‘Maybe this is the day. Maybe she will reappear this morning. It had been four years after all. Surely she had established herself by now. New life, new identity. Hold a press conference, shock the world:’ “William, Harry. If you can hear me, come to me.” He spoke of elaborate dreams... his mother wearing a disguise and he bumps into her. She’d be wearing a big blonde wig. In the dream he’d whisper: “Mummy, is that you?” He would wake disappointed, again. “But it blotted out enough that I was able to postpone the bulk of my grief. I still hadn’t mourned. I still hadn’t cried, except that one time at her grave. Still hadn’t processed the bare facts.”
In Chapter 37 he talked about the Queen at the last day of the Golden Jubilee: “I wanted to hug her, but of course I didn’t. Out of the question. I never had done, and couldn’t imagine any circumstance under which such an act might be sanctioned.”
Chapter 38 proved that Prince Charles wasn’t completely ignorant about his “Darling Boy” second-born. It was he who suggested the army to Harry for a career choice, and it turned out to be a winner. And sadly, this chapter brought another tragic, preventable death. No seatbelt.
Chapter 41 gave Harry my empathy on a new topic:
“The Hills’ farm was hot. I wasn’t sure I could endure this kind of hot. The Australian Outback had a climate I didn’t understand and which my body couldn’t seem to accept. Like Pa, I wilted at the mere mention of heat: how was I supposed to put up with an oven inside a blast furnace inside a nuclear reactor set on top of an active volcano?”
In Chapter 50 I learned just how shitty a brother poor Harry had. It was the costume scandal, but I also felt it was a set-up. WILLIAM AND KATE APPROVED OF THE COSTUME! Harry said “The shame would never fade, nor should it.” But the family piled it on, sending him to a holy man whose conversations had Harry feeling a “bottomless self-loathing.” Just horrendous!
Chapter 52 delivered a shock. Harry finally got to review the secret police files on his Mum’s crash, including photos. Diana looked unharmed and beautiful! I was not expecting that!
In Chapter 58, at the end of Part One, Harry spoke of how two true stories showed up in the press. This is about 29% of the way through the book, or 4.5 hours. With all the countless media stories Harry mentioned prior to this point, they were slam dunk debunks. Outrageous lies and malicious libel. But now, they knew they had a leak. He became paranoid, and instantly knew that his Mum was right to be paranoid. “No one was above suspicion.”
PART TWO covered his time in the military (4:39 to 10:18, or the middle 37%) and I stopped taking detailed notes. I’m happy that he got to do such great things and his experiences were so learning-rich. But Chapter 86 (about 10 hours or 65% into the book) had a GREAT story that took place at Courtney Cox’s house. Harry had a LOT of alcohol and drug stories in the book, but I felt this story was the only one worth mentioning: the mushrooms that kicked in while he was in the bathroom! The voices cracked me up -- I’m very happy that he narrated.
PART THREE covered meeting Megan, his growing discontent with both the media and the palace’s unwillingness to do anything about them, and their departure.
I’m disgusted by Prince Harry’s family -- mostly his dad and brother. Camilla definitely played a part too. They seriously have messed-up priorities. IMHO, the royals hang on to traditions and ceremonies that don’t mean a whole lot to the rest of humanity, and yet they have an EXORBITANT PRICE TAG. Not just financially, but mentally, emotionally, culturally. They are causing generational trauma. They are like a subsidized mafia, and their crimes are cultural and societal. Harry and many blamed the paparazzi for Diana’s death, but the public and the palace both allow them to operate. Feed them. Ugh.
I have far more sympathy and empathy for Prince Harry and Megan and their kids than I ever thought possible.
*We know it’s not a tell-all book. It’s 400 pages, and Harry has said that his original submittal was around 800 pages. I hope that, if his dad and brother don’t get their shit together, he publishes the second set. I’m definitely Team Harry. And I think this is my LONGEST.REVIEW.EVER!
chelseajwood's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.25
willimm11's review against another edition
2.0
Such a heartbreaking story of the loss and trauma he’s had in his life. Was definitely a slow read for me, especially through a large chunk in the middle where he was just doing destructive behaviors on repeat and his time in the Army.
lovethybookworm's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
bookishnerdmom's review against another edition
4.0
I listened to the audio version read by Harry himself and I truly enjoyed it. I was surprised to learn of his extensive military background ( I’m an American) as well as the odd “rules” the crown must adhere to. Harry seems to be the black sheep of the royal family and continues to be gaslighted by the monarchy. 4.5/5
bethanieawp's review against another edition
informative
sad
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal cruelty and Animal death