serithompson's review
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
The author is articulate. The tone is conversational. It’s funny in all the right places. Every bit if this book, I found to be equally relatable and informative. Outstanding.
ahsimlibrarian's review
5.0
Full disclosure: I am friends with Evan J. Peterson. But I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and believe its message is important--with PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) there is no longer the need to feel fear about contracting HIV or even having sex with HIV-poz partners. This memoir details Peterson's long struggle to live a fulfilling emotional and sex life as a gay man without being hampered by the specter and stigma of AIDS and HIV. PrEP is not just for gay men, either--it is for anyone who is sexually active who wants to avoid getting HIV. PrEP is the new safer sex.
I especially appreciated this insight on shame:
"Shame does not work as a deterrent. When I went through twelve-step recovery for codependency, I learned just how ineffective shame is in changing anyone's behavior. Listening to the stories of many addicts, sex addicts in particular but many others as well, taught me this about shame: it makes us feel worthless. Worthlessness makes us keep hurting ourselves and others, because we don't feel like it's worth it to change. When we shame someone for their feelings and desires, to say nothing of their actions, we teach them not to stop desiring and acting but to start hiding. This is why I'm against social justice advocates shaming people for saying or doing the wrong thing; shame doesn't make people clean up their act, if there's something to clean up. Plus shame is a tool of homophobia and misogyny, so why use it to end prejudice?" (121)
I especially appreciated this insight on shame:
"Shame does not work as a deterrent. When I went through twelve-step recovery for codependency, I learned just how ineffective shame is in changing anyone's behavior. Listening to the stories of many addicts, sex addicts in particular but many others as well, taught me this about shame: it makes us feel worthless. Worthlessness makes us keep hurting ourselves and others, because we don't feel like it's worth it to change. When we shame someone for their feelings and desires, to say nothing of their actions, we teach them not to stop desiring and acting but to start hiding. This is why I'm against social justice advocates shaming people for saying or doing the wrong thing; shame doesn't make people clean up their act, if there's something to clean up. Plus shame is a tool of homophobia and misogyny, so why use it to end prejudice?" (121)
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