delfireads's review
5.0
girl this is my BIBLEEEEEEE. when i tell you every page had me hollering and clapping and cheering and crying!!! so grateful for these talented authors that collected years of anecdotes, writings, photographs, etc. that compile lesbian thought, life experiences, poetry, and story-telling. i’ve never felt so seen and understand than when i read the thoughts and experiences of butches and it overall made me so much more confident in finally understanding my own identity <3
m4tr1m0ny's review
Seriously fascinating look into femme-butch history, especially from the perspective of the 90s. Much of it was extremely relevant to lesbian+ politics of the 2020s.
arieltf's review
5.0
I've been looking for stories like these for a long time. I'm glad I finally found the time to read them.
I would love for there to be an ebook version someday so this text could reach a wider audience. Here are some quotes that jumped out at me:
"After I left home my brother found out that I hung out in the Starlet Lounge and he and his friends used to come and taunt us. There was nothing that could be done about that, because that’s what the bars were, that’s where they made their money—with the tourists coming to look at the queers. We were only a small part of the population of the bar actually—we were the sideshow. No wonder we all did drugs and stuff. I didn’t acknowledge to myself that I was part of a sideshow and that I was on display, but that was exactly what it was."
- Doris Lunden, 117
"Many of today's feminist see us as ahistorical, as if we are stuck in a time and never change, as if we are a bad fifties thing. But I am always learning more about this way of loving. I have changed in the last twenty years. Now I want to incorporate into my femmeness my new layers of experience. I want to be the best of our desire without apologizing for it, and I want us to know our own history. Butch and femme can change and grow."
- Joan Nestle, 265
"Being a butch has been the most troublesome and delicious experience of my life. Being butch—like being a woman, a lesbian, having a soul—is not something I can dismiss. I believe butches are born, not made. Since this is my birthright, I choose to glory in it. When I comb my hair back and strut out my front door, being butch is my hallelujah."
- Jeanne Cordova, 272
“The main justification for invalidating butch-femme is that it's an imitation of heterosexual roles and, therefore, not a genuine lesbian model. One is tempted to react by saying, "So what?" but the charge encompasses more than betrayal of an assumed fixed and "true" lesbian culture. Implicit in the accusation is the denial of cultural agency to lesbians, of the ability to shape and reshape symbols into new meanings of identification. Plagiarism, as the adage goes, is basic to all culture."
- Lyndall MacCowan, 321
"My life has taught me that touch is never to be taken for granted, that a woman reaching for my breasts or parting my legs is never a common thing, that her fingers finding me and her tongue taking me are not mysterious acts to be hidden away, but all of it, the embraces, the holdings on, the moans, the words of want, are acts of sunlight."
- Joan Nestle, 486
I would love for there to be an ebook version someday so this text could reach a wider audience. Here are some quotes that jumped out at me:
"After I left home my brother found out that I hung out in the Starlet Lounge and he and his friends used to come and taunt us. There was nothing that could be done about that, because that’s what the bars were, that’s where they made their money—with the tourists coming to look at the queers. We were only a small part of the population of the bar actually—we were the sideshow. No wonder we all did drugs and stuff. I didn’t acknowledge to myself that I was part of a sideshow and that I was on display, but that was exactly what it was."
- Doris Lunden, 117
"Many of today's feminist see us as ahistorical, as if we are stuck in a time and never change, as if we are a bad fifties thing. But I am always learning more about this way of loving. I have changed in the last twenty years. Now I want to incorporate into my femmeness my new layers of experience. I want to be the best of our desire without apologizing for it, and I want us to know our own history. Butch and femme can change and grow."
- Joan Nestle, 265
"Being a butch has been the most troublesome and delicious experience of my life. Being butch—like being a woman, a lesbian, having a soul—is not something I can dismiss. I believe butches are born, not made. Since this is my birthright, I choose to glory in it. When I comb my hair back and strut out my front door, being butch is my hallelujah."
- Jeanne Cordova, 272
“The main justification for invalidating butch-femme is that it's an imitation of heterosexual roles and, therefore, not a genuine lesbian model. One is tempted to react by saying, "So what?" but the charge encompasses more than betrayal of an assumed fixed and "true" lesbian culture. Implicit in the accusation is the denial of cultural agency to lesbians, of the ability to shape and reshape symbols into new meanings of identification. Plagiarism, as the adage goes, is basic to all culture."
- Lyndall MacCowan, 321
"My life has taught me that touch is never to be taken for granted, that a woman reaching for my breasts or parting my legs is never a common thing, that her fingers finding me and her tongue taking me are not mysterious acts to be hidden away, but all of it, the embraces, the holdings on, the moans, the words of want, are acts of sunlight."
- Joan Nestle, 486
rebeccaalexis's review
5.0
five stars for provoking political discussion and dialogue foundational during its time with an ongoing relevancy today (considering 1992 publication date.) advanced-level intersectionalism (again for its time!!) for including the voices of BIPOC and trans activists and authors.
i enjoyed the timeline-like structure of the chapters including theory and analysis, poetry and prose, short stories and memoirs written by a range of lesbian authors outlining 200 years of lesbian history. however, i wish the timeline was more explicit; it was often difficult to pinpoint an era if not stated.
very mixed bag composition and woven content; alternating between academic political feminist history to literary lesbian fiction to erotic poetry though all concentrating on the topic of butch and femme identities.
my favourite pieces were:
dancing with dennie (myrna elana, poem),
photograph (myrna elana, poem),
lullaby for a butch (melinda goodman, poem),
billie (laurie hoskin, poem),
butchy femme (mykel johnson, philosophical memoir centring around gender expression),
sex, lies and penetration: butch finally fesses up (jan brown, critique on sex and sexuality from a butch sex worker),
the dance of masks (barbara smith, butch musings on feeling yourself lol this just made me realize how much i need to read more literature from the butch perspective, this was sexy),
a letter from the phillipines (marivic r. desquitado, letter, political)
an academic affair : the politics of butch-femme pleasures (joan parkin & amanda prosser, co-written romantic memoir structured like scenes from a play of both authors meeting each other in a university classroom, very cute)
i also enjoyed the refreshing all dressed up, but no place to go? style wars and the new lesbianism for its takes on a more recent popularization of lesbian styles and methods of signaling in new wave fashion, although this was written in the 90s and some references were lost on me. i could personally speak on a new "grey-area" that exists in which lesbian styles and fashion has been adopted by the average cishet woman causing a lack of visibility (literally i have been called straight-passing like please my eyebrows are bleached, i buzzed parts of my hair, i am dressed in men's clothing like let's be real).
i personally had a distaste for some of the more erotic poetry (while i did enjoy the sexual critique and theory, re: sex, lies, and penetration) but that is entirely preference-based, it was beautiful and definitely resonates with other readers.
also included an excerpt of stone butch blues, goes without saying, but loved it and love leslie feinberg.
it's hard for me to find an affinity with either butch or femme labels for myself, i went into reading this almost searching for a long-awaited answer. both can feel concrete and definite, and while i appreciate the societal value they hold and the rich history of both labels, expression feels trivial and fluid to me so neither term resonates fully. though i find today's butch is looked down upon and misused as we opt out for "masc", and femme is a loose and open term synonymous with any remotely feminine lesbian (if visible at all), and often, both identities are pitted against each other in online discourse (the femme4femme fetishization, lack of butch representation). i understand both identities are not a catch-all, but a proposed butch-femme scale is also often rejected as they are, again, a definite way of identification. i wanted to use this book as a tool to further pragmatic research into butch-femme labels, propped up by its histories and theory, as well as explore my own identity and likeness to the labels. am i butch or femme? where is my place in the lesbian community measured by these terms?
i did not exit with an answer LOL... i think ive come to the realization (once again) they are coalescent labels for the lesbians they are finite to. i am a mixed-race non-binary lesbian. of course i cannot connect to either one label entirely, my identity makeup is complex. i find, in today's world, style and expression has become very fluid that calling yourself either masculine or feminine entirely is a shorthanded way of labelling. i am so masculine when i am at the airport or in love. i am so feminine when someone puts sza on. i am so masculine to the straight girl. i am so feminine twirling my hair kicking my feet when i see a butch with short hair. i am so dykey to my mom. i am neither masculine nor feminine with my dyke friends. i just am idk
this novel included a study conducted by a womens and gender studies professor who, concentrated on lesbian history, asked their students to describe their feelings on both the butch and femme label after placing themselves in either one. the class of 1977 easily placed themselves on either side of the hall, then detailed how they fit (ex: "i work with my hands, i cut my hair short and wear slacks, i prefer to lead and have a preference for feminine women, therefore, i am a butch"). however, the class of 1988, a decade later, felt butch and femme to be non-feminist and non-lesbian, refused to place themselves (ex: "i wear a blend of men's and women's clothing, i wear makeup but keep my hair short" .. later this will be known as the chapstick futch LOL), rejected them as normative roles among their friends and social circles and even deemed them exclusionary, restrictive and borderlining heterosexuality (i do not agree with this final note). i think the study moreso emphasizes the movement of expression within a decade rather than deeming powerful traditional lesbian labels as trite. to reject butch and femme and conflate the labels as a mimicry to the binary male and female roles is to not take lesbianism seriously. to exclude or phase out butch and femme is to dishonour lesbianism.
there existed another lesbian separatism between the "old gays" that came out in 1969, pre-stonewall riots, and the political lesbians, who came out after 1969 and had a different understanding of the political meaning of love for women. (even now i note a similar modern discordance, for example, the terfs that reject nonbinary and trans lesbians as we open our landscape of language within points of identification, and the millennial vs gen-z lesbians, did you take the am i gay quiz on buzzfeed or uquiz). rejecting butch and femme does not remove yourself from an identification continuum. instead, the butch and femme label has become as specific to me as myself identifynig as a south asian lesbian, a biracial lesbian, a non-binary lesbian. neither butch or femme is a complete fitting description to my experiences, but they are to some, while i can find (or create) other terms that do frame them as well. i will always see value in butch-femme, i will always be in love with its history.
i think the one major critique i have is the lack of butch4butch or the mainstream narrative of a butch will always pursue a femme. for that i could relate more to the gay man than i do the cisgender lesbian. sorry. leslie feinberg was so real for representing the societal rejection of butch4butch couples in stone butch blues.
anyway why fuck up good sex with analysis?
i enjoyed the timeline-like structure of the chapters including theory and analysis, poetry and prose, short stories and memoirs written by a range of lesbian authors outlining 200 years of lesbian history. however, i wish the timeline was more explicit; it was often difficult to pinpoint an era if not stated.
very mixed bag composition and woven content; alternating between academic political feminist history to literary lesbian fiction to erotic poetry though all concentrating on the topic of butch and femme identities.
my favourite pieces were:
dancing with dennie (myrna elana, poem),
photograph (myrna elana, poem),
lullaby for a butch (melinda goodman, poem),
billie (laurie hoskin, poem),
butchy femme (mykel johnson, philosophical memoir centring around gender expression),
sex, lies and penetration: butch finally fesses up (jan brown, critique on sex and sexuality from a butch sex worker),
the dance of masks (barbara smith, butch musings on feeling yourself lol this just made me realize how much i need to read more literature from the butch perspective, this was sexy),
a letter from the phillipines (marivic r. desquitado, letter, political)
an academic affair : the politics of butch-femme pleasures (joan parkin & amanda prosser, co-written romantic memoir structured like scenes from a play of both authors meeting each other in a university classroom, very cute)
i also enjoyed the refreshing all dressed up, but no place to go? style wars and the new lesbianism for its takes on a more recent popularization of lesbian styles and methods of signaling in new wave fashion, although this was written in the 90s and some references were lost on me. i could personally speak on a new "grey-area" that exists in which lesbian styles and fashion has been adopted by the average cishet woman causing a lack of visibility (literally i have been called straight-passing like please my eyebrows are bleached, i buzzed parts of my hair, i am dressed in men's clothing like let's be real).
i personally had a distaste for some of the more erotic poetry (while i did enjoy the sexual critique and theory, re: sex, lies, and penetration) but that is entirely preference-based, it was beautiful and definitely resonates with other readers.
also included an excerpt of stone butch blues, goes without saying, but loved it and love leslie feinberg.
it's hard for me to find an affinity with either butch or femme labels for myself, i went into reading this almost searching for a long-awaited answer. both can feel concrete and definite, and while i appreciate the societal value they hold and the rich history of both labels, expression feels trivial and fluid to me so neither term resonates fully. though i find today's butch is looked down upon and misused as we opt out for "masc", and femme is a loose and open term synonymous with any remotely feminine lesbian (if visible at all), and often, both identities are pitted against each other in online discourse (the femme4femme fetishization, lack of butch representation). i understand both identities are not a catch-all, but a proposed butch-femme scale is also often rejected as they are, again, a definite way of identification. i wanted to use this book as a tool to further pragmatic research into butch-femme labels, propped up by its histories and theory, as well as explore my own identity and likeness to the labels. am i butch or femme? where is my place in the lesbian community measured by these terms?
i did not exit with an answer LOL... i think ive come to the realization (once again) they are coalescent labels for the lesbians they are finite to. i am a mixed-race non-binary lesbian. of course i cannot connect to either one label entirely, my identity makeup is complex. i find, in today's world, style and expression has become very fluid that calling yourself either masculine or feminine entirely is a shorthanded way of labelling. i am so masculine when i am at the airport or in love. i am so feminine when someone puts sza on. i am so masculine to the straight girl. i am so feminine twirling my hair kicking my feet when i see a butch with short hair. i am so dykey to my mom. i am neither masculine nor feminine with my dyke friends. i just am idk
this novel included a study conducted by a womens and gender studies professor who, concentrated on lesbian history, asked their students to describe their feelings on both the butch and femme label after placing themselves in either one. the class of 1977 easily placed themselves on either side of the hall, then detailed how they fit (ex: "i work with my hands, i cut my hair short and wear slacks, i prefer to lead and have a preference for feminine women, therefore, i am a butch"). however, the class of 1988, a decade later, felt butch and femme to be non-feminist and non-lesbian, refused to place themselves (ex: "i wear a blend of men's and women's clothing, i wear makeup but keep my hair short" .. later this will be known as the chapstick futch LOL), rejected them as normative roles among their friends and social circles and even deemed them exclusionary, restrictive and borderlining heterosexuality (i do not agree with this final note). i think the study moreso emphasizes the movement of expression within a decade rather than deeming powerful traditional lesbian labels as trite. to reject butch and femme and conflate the labels as a mimicry to the binary male and female roles is to not take lesbianism seriously. to exclude or phase out butch and femme is to dishonour lesbianism.
there existed another lesbian separatism between the "old gays" that came out in 1969, pre-stonewall riots, and the political lesbians, who came out after 1969 and had a different understanding of the political meaning of love for women. (even now i note a similar modern discordance, for example, the terfs that reject nonbinary and trans lesbians as we open our landscape of language within points of identification, and the millennial vs gen-z lesbians, did you take the am i gay quiz on buzzfeed or uquiz). rejecting butch and femme does not remove yourself from an identification continuum. instead, the butch and femme label has become as specific to me as myself identifynig as a south asian lesbian, a biracial lesbian, a non-binary lesbian. neither butch or femme is a complete fitting description to my experiences, but they are to some, while i can find (or create) other terms that do frame them as well. i will always see value in butch-femme, i will always be in love with its history.
i think the one major critique i have is the lack of butch4butch or the mainstream narrative of a butch will always pursue a femme. for that i could relate more to the gay man than i do the cisgender lesbian. sorry. leslie feinberg was so real for representing the societal rejection of butch4butch couples in stone butch blues.
anyway why fuck up good sex with analysis?
deltani's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
necromanticfemme's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0