mardal's review
2.0
premise:
Rebecca, a privileged white lady, has two sons. Her first, a white boy, that her black nanny helped her through the struggles of parenthood those first years. Her second, a black boy, who's birth mother that nanny that helped beyond thanks and died from childbirth. Her journey of raising two sons of different colour in a world that's not always so kind.
spoilers/personal reaction:
The writing lacked. This is a story that needs great writing because there are no twists, no big turns; just urns for good storytelling. It's the struggles you would expect from the parenting side and now it's mixed with racial tension. Not much else to say. Had the bones to be something heart-wrenching and special, just no depth.
Rebecca, a privileged white lady, has two sons. Her first, a white boy, that her black nanny helped her through the struggles of parenthood those first years. Her second, a black boy, who's birth mother that nanny that helped beyond thanks and died from childbirth. Her journey of raising two sons of different colour in a world that's not always so kind.
Spoiler
spoilers/personal reaction:
The writing lacked. This is a story that needs great writing because there are no twists, no big turns; just urns for good storytelling. It's the struggles you would expect from the parenting side and now it's mixed with racial tension. Not much else to say. Had the bones to be something heart-wrenching and special, just no depth.
ellenjoannecampbell's review against another edition
3.0
This was a pretty quick and easy read. It explores White Privilege, through a fairly gentle lens. It really doesn't touch on the reality of cross cultural adoption through the eyes of an adoptee, just the mom's. In my view, the story doesn't contain enough conflict to paint a realistic picture.
zarazuck's review
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
I’m shocked by how convincingly Alam, a man, writes about motherhood. For all the major events at the start of the book, nothing really happens…and I couldn’t tell if that bothered me or if it felt a lot like motherhood itself.
fancylibrarian's review
4.0
Complex story about motherhood, race, family and relationships. The characters were well-developed and realistic and I feel that he understands women really well. He writes a realistic description of breastfeeding, which I barely understand, and I did it! Not a fast-paced, plot driven book but I connected easily to the characters, who were flawed but endearing.
alisun's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this book. I was hesitant wondering why a man would write a book about motherhood but Alam offers a textured view of motherhood as well as a commentary on caregiving and domestic labor.
Rebecca Stone has just had a child and is struggling to settle into her new role. In the hospital she meets Priscilla, a Black nurses' assistant. It isn't actually clear what Priscilla's job is. Her daughter is a nurse at the hospital and we later find out that she got her mother this job. What's clear is that she is good with babies (something Rebecca is not). Rebecca convinces Priscilla to come and work for the family as a nanny. Through the three years that Priscilla works for the family, Rebecca settles into her role as a mother, guided entirely by Priscilla. Rebecca has a mother who lives close by and two sisters who also have children but it is her paid nanny that coaches her through first foods and first steps.
Ostensibly Priscilla is there to allow Rebecca to work and, while she does spend time in her office writing poems, initially she really just needs time away from the baby and the demands of motherhood. Later in the story Rebecca's career takes off but this is NOT a working mom needs a nanny because the dad's at work.
When Priscilla becomes pregnant and then dies in childbirth, Rebecca takes the baby home, at first to give Priscilla's adult daughter (nurse Cheryl), who has just had her own child (first baby), time to figure out what to do. It is assumed that Cheryl will be take her brother in and raise him alongside his cousin. It is not a surprise to anyone when Rebecca adopts Andrew and the two families become intwined, making a new (albeit odd) extended family. In the years that follow Rebecca becomes known as a poet -- wins a few prestigious awards -- but really what she becomes is a mother. In fact, it isn't until she is a single working mother (her marriage ends when Andrew is starting school) that she really "becomes" a poet. Her relationship to work and motherhood subtly unfolds and, I think, was one of the more interesting aspects of the book.
In Rebecca, Alam doesn't offer a heroic White savior (thankfully), and things aren't wrapped up nicely in the end. Rebecca is pretty clueless when it comes to race and class. This begins at the beginning (she is blind-sighted when Priscilla becomes pregnant and spend a hot second reflecting on how she didn't know much about Priscilla's private life). One of the best scenes in the book is when Cheryl (the adult sister of Andrew and Cheryl's husband explain "the talk" that Black parents have with their children. Rebecca tries to understand but mostly gets it wrong. Through Cheryl, the reader gets to have a removed view of Rebecca's cluelessness. Cheryl isn't very hard on Rebecca but she doesn't let her off the hook either. That said, when Rebecca is called in to have a chat with Andrew's teacher she is able to call out the teachers' racism and defend her son mama-bear style. This is part of what makes the book so good -- the unresolved and imperfect ways that Rebecca is "that kind of mother."
Rebecca Stone has just had a child and is struggling to settle into her new role. In the hospital she meets Priscilla, a Black nurses' assistant. It isn't actually clear what Priscilla's job is. Her daughter is a nurse at the hospital and we later find out that she got her mother this job. What's clear is that she is good with babies (something Rebecca is not). Rebecca convinces Priscilla to come and work for the family as a nanny. Through the three years that Priscilla works for the family, Rebecca settles into her role as a mother, guided entirely by Priscilla. Rebecca has a mother who lives close by and two sisters who also have children but it is her paid nanny that coaches her through first foods and first steps.
Ostensibly Priscilla is there to allow Rebecca to work and, while she does spend time in her office writing poems, initially she really just needs time away from the baby and the demands of motherhood. Later in the story Rebecca's career takes off but this is NOT a working mom needs a nanny because the dad's at work.
When Priscilla becomes pregnant and then dies in childbirth, Rebecca takes the baby home, at first to give Priscilla's adult daughter (nurse Cheryl), who has just had her own child (first baby), time to figure out what to do. It is assumed that Cheryl will be take her brother in and raise him alongside his cousin. It is not a surprise to anyone when Rebecca adopts Andrew and the two families become intwined, making a new (albeit odd) extended family. In the years that follow Rebecca becomes known as a poet -- wins a few prestigious awards -- but really what she becomes is a mother. In fact, it isn't until she is a single working mother (her marriage ends when Andrew is starting school) that she really "becomes" a poet. Her relationship to work and motherhood subtly unfolds and, I think, was one of the more interesting aspects of the book.
In Rebecca, Alam doesn't offer a heroic White savior (thankfully), and things aren't wrapped up nicely in the end. Rebecca is pretty clueless when it comes to race and class. This begins at the beginning (she is blind-sighted when Priscilla becomes pregnant and spend a hot second reflecting on how she didn't know much about Priscilla's private life). One of the best scenes in the book is when Cheryl (the adult sister of Andrew and Cheryl's husband explain "the talk" that Black parents have with their children. Rebecca tries to understand but mostly gets it wrong. Through Cheryl, the reader gets to have a removed view of Rebecca's cluelessness. Cheryl isn't very hard on Rebecca but she doesn't let her off the hook either. That said, when Rebecca is called in to have a chat with Andrew's teacher she is able to call out the teachers' racism and defend her son mama-bear style. This is part of what makes the book so good -- the unresolved and imperfect ways that Rebecca is "that kind of mother."
mamasquirrel's review
1.0
I found this book unsettling. I wanted to be ok with a book written by a man with a female protagonist. I wanted to be ok with a book written by a man about what it means to be a mother.
But I couldn't get there. His lengthy descriptions of childbirth and breastfeeding, of sexuality in middle age? These just didn't feel right. Almost like my space was being invaded.
The premise of the book, however, was very interesting, and similar to Little Fires Everywhere.
But I couldn't get there. His lengthy descriptions of childbirth and breastfeeding, of sexuality in middle age? These just didn't feel right. Almost like my space was being invaded.
The premise of the book, however, was very interesting, and similar to Little Fires Everywhere.
sarahs_readingparty's review against another edition
4.0
I’m not sure what I thought this book would be, but this was much better. There were lots of great themes/ideas related to motherhood and work to ponder...great for all moms and women alike.
scorpstar77's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting rumination on a white mother to an adopted black son (and a biological white son) in the 1980s, and both her love for him and her complete blindness to what she doesn't know about being black in this world and her near-fetishization of his deceased mother (her former nanny) and his adult sister (to whom their family is close) without actually seeing them for who they are, as people. It's definitely a deserved criticism of wealthy white liberals who believe how not racist they are and their savior complex, though I would say the main character also gets the reader's sympathy - she's not someone you hate, but you're still uncomfortable with how obtuse she is.
joel_rangel__'s review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.25
solson1974's review
2.0
Ok, maybe 2.5/5 but just could not get into this book! A man writing about pregnancy and post-partum experiences—no thanks! There were so many times I read a section and thought “yeah, this is written by a man”. Also, this woman is so self-centered and clueless. Kept waiting for her to develop or grow past that but it just never happened!