Reviews with content warning for Toxic relationship - The Vegetarian

Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

The Vegetarian by Han Kang

167 reviews

celestialwillow's review against another edition

medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.75

According to the publishing info, this was originally three "novelettes" now combined into this book.
1) Main characters husband - he's horrible
2) Main characters brother-in-law - he's also horrible
3) Main characters sister - she's just weak and has her own issues.
You don't get anything from the POV of the main character. She's a vegan, not a vegetarian.
It's just awful. At least it's short.

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ienbdri's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.5

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lavendelchen's review against another edition

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dark mysterious fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

Das Buch war so gar nicht, was ich erwartet hatte. Düster und verstörend, hat es mich trotzdem so sehr gepackt, dass ich es in einem Rutsch gelesen habe.

Content Warnings

ebp's review against another edition

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challenging dark reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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elsaeats's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

It's a very odd book and doesn't have a definitive ending, which is maybe more normal for East Asian books. I think if you are open to a quirky story where you are left pondering, then it's one to read

Certainly it's a book that provokes conversation about various topics such as mental illness and social norms vs instinct. Maybe we are all mentally ill to a degree?

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v_____'s review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Bevor meine Frau zur Vegetarierin wurde, hielt ich sie in jeder Hinsicht für völlig unscheinbar...

Wer sich in Han Kangs "Die Vegetarierin" ein Plädoyer für vegetarische Ernährung erwartet ist hier leider fehl am Platz.
Nichtsdestotrotz würde ich dieses Buch empfehlen, auch wenn es nichts für schwache Nerven ist und ein paar echt heftige Szenen enthält.
Ich werde hier erst mal keine Triggerwarnung platzieren, um nicht zu sehr zu spoilern, aber ich denke man kann sich schon auf den ersten Seiten, anhand des Tons, denken, in welche Richtung es (unter anderem) gehen wird.

Das Buch ist in drei Kapitel aufgeteilt und jedes wird aus der Sicht einer anderen Person geschildert. Interessant ist dabei, dass die Hauptperson Yeong-Hye aka "Die Vegetarierin" nicht selbst zu Wort kommt. Wir wissen also nur über sie, was die Anderen sich über sie zusammenreimen, wie sie ihre Körperhaltungen oder Handlungen interpretieren und was sie in seltenen Gesprächen von sich gibt. Die Anderen, das sind in Kapitel 1 ihr Ehemann, in Kapitel 2 ihr Schwager (der Mann ihrer Schwester In-Hye) und in Kapitel 3 In-Hye.
Soviel zum Aufbau, ACHTUNG ab jetzt können SPOILER vorkommen.

<u>Zum Inhalt:</u>
Eines Tages erklärt Yeong-Hye ihrem Mann aus heiterem Himmel, dass sie sich fortan nur noch vegetarisch ernähren wird, denn sie hatte einen "Traum". Ihr Mann (auf den ich hier nicht weiter eingehen werde, da er einfach die größte smallest man who ever lived-energy hat, die ich je in einem Buch gelesen habe und mich nur aggressiv werden lässt), versteht dies nicht, nimmt es aber hin, mit der Sorge, was dies nun für ihn und sein Leben bedeuten wird. Nach einiger Zeit wird Yeong-Hye immer magerer und schläft auch kaum mehr. Bei einem Familienessen kommt es zu einer Konfrontation, bei dem die Familie sie auffordert, Fleisch zu essen. Die Situation eskaliert dahingehen, dass sich Yeong-Hyes gesundheitlicher Zustand immer weiter verschlechtert und deutlich wird, dass es sich nicht (nur) um ein physisches Problem handelt, sondern hauptsächliches um ein psychisches.

Interessanterweise ist das Vegetarier-Thema eher eine Randerscheinung, eine Aufmachung, die die ganze Handlung anstößt. Es ist ein Deckmantel, für darunterliegende Probleme und Missstände, die Schicht für Schicht zum Vorschein kommen. Um welche Themen es nun wirklich geht, möchte ich hier nicht spoilern. Für mich war genau das so besonders, dass man dieses Buch zwar liest und die Handlung verfolgt, aber nachdem man fertig ist, immer noch darüber nachdenkt. Ich persönlich habe Verständnis für die Protagonistin und sie tut mir furchtbar leid. Mit der Veränderung ihrer Ernährungsgewohnheiten, hat sie ihr Leben selbst in die Hand genommen und die Kontrolle über sich widererlangt. Aber zu welchem Preis?

Zum Schluss möchte ich noch kurz den Schreibstil loben! Ich war einfach von Seite 1 dabei, und auch wenn manche Stellen unangenehm, ekelhaft oder gewaltvoll waren, hat mich die Autorin mitgetragen und in den Zeilen danach wieder abgeholt.

... Das Leben ist schon seltsam, denkt sie sich nach einem Lachanfall. Egal, was passiert, selbst nach einem schrecklichen Ereignis isst man, trinkt man, geht auf die Toilette, wäscht sich. Kurz, das Leben geht weiter. Manchmal amüsiert man sich sogar...

- Die Vegetarierin, 90%

Content Warnings

aminkab's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad tense

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book is really really dark and I think not everyone will like it because it contains a lot of disturbing scenes which makes it physically hard to read. But for me as a reader who likes weird types of shit like mental illness and other dark topics, it was an interesting experience. Moreover, this book shows the struggles that women face in society.

Content Warnings

documentno_is's review

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challenging dark sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Ever since Han Kang was announced as the winner of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize in literature I knew I wanted to attempt finishing this book I had dropped off long ago. I’ve seen many criticisms of this novel for being too graphic and having poor line level craft (being too obtuse.) In terms of the translation I can’t say I felt too negatively about it. I accept it is a translation and most things in a literary sense will be lost to cultural context. Having some knowledge of Korean society provides a lens for the starkly pro-meat society, along with the severe patriarchy, and age-based cultural caste system. The main character is clearly a part of a traditional culturally conservative family and while this seeks to amplify some of the dramatic tragedy of this story it never feels unbelievable.

I know there has been backlash towards the translator for changing some of the events of this novel. I think translation is an art in itself- trying to provide missing cultural context is better than literally translating a passage (in my eyes.) I also think maybe putting this in the realm of contemporary fiction rather than horror could ascribe to some of the poor reviews. Like, yes of course it’s shocking and grotesque, its an allegory.. Not to mention I think some recent reviewers may be forgetting this was published in 2007- it’s been well over a decade since the world this novel was pointing at and Korea is on a much more global stage than it was at the time.

Part 1

It is clear from the beginning of the novel the narrator only knows his wife through his own context, looks for how she may serve him rather than who she is as a person. Her behaviors such as not wearing a bra- give way to his disappointment in adherence to typical feminine social norms but also sees her breasts as something to “display” to his male friends; regards them as not impressive enough to hold on their own.

Often talks about how she makes herself small to accommodate him- it suits him when he feels alone in a room or free to pursue his own hobbies. Rather than a partnership their relationship is one in which he believes *he* has something to offer and her duty is to perform domestic tasks. When she starts spending time in the kitchen he talks often about how she looks “disheveled” or immodest in opposition of his preferred view of her as demure and small.

We are then given the first excerpt from the wife’s perspective; not in her real life but in her dream. She is dreaming of endless meat and being forced to eat it. She describes the meat in repulsive ways almost likening it to human flesh. The breakfast scene the next morning is interesting because it reminded me of the fun fact that there is no word for vegan in Korean, only vegetarian and then saying no milk and eggs as well. The wife is essentially implying the husband only eats one meal at home so it shouldn’t be so difficult of him to give up only meat for one meal. This her first real "ask" for any sort of accommodation within this novel and it is met with harshness and lack of understanding. It is easy to see how this inciting event foreshadows the rest of the events in part 2 & 3.

The reader realizes well before the narrator that this is a greater rejection of him as a person rather than just “vegetarianism.” She stops sleeping, she looks ill, she stopped something she was skilled at (cooking) to now only cook barren vegetarian meals and now she is also actively avoiding sex with him. Rather than showing concern the narrator focuses on how it negatively affects him: “she’s changed” or “she’s difficult now.” In his own passages her husband presents himself as even tempered and logical but in her memories he is unreasonable and quick to anger. He doesn’t consider her or think about her and she finds ways in her mind to respond and calm herself down.

After the failed dinner with his boss our narrator begins to seek “solutions” which could also be seen as tactics of revenge. Knowing the Korean societal and social pressure of the family unit the fact that he essentially shames her to her mother and older sister shows that he expects behaviors of her that she is not completing and her family agrees she’s not fulfilling the transactions of their marriage.

After her second dream the novel takes a much darker tone. We read through the husband’s perspective that he feels incredibly put out “in his prime” and then details raping his wife, with the implication he follows up on his actions multiple times in the future. Along with this he expects the wife’s family to also admonish her as his father in law mentions how ashamed he is of his daughter. In the first rape scene the narrator compares the way his wife is lying to “a comfort woman” referring to the horrible practice of the Japanese forcing Korean women to become concubines during the war. He lays down clearly that he feels entitled to his wife’s body and her unwillingness to provide it enthusiastically is a slight towards him in his eyes.

The third of the wife’s dreams is interesting because it implies she also is not entirely a willing participant in her transformation- it does not appear that she wants to be losing weight and she sees her body as something capable of hideous violence.

All of this comes to a head at the wife’s family dinner party, where all of the family ways in on her decision. She faces them down with dispassionate coolness and her father manages to force some meet in her mouth which she spits up. She then appears to slit her own wrists rather than eat the meat and is rushed to the hospital.

We then get another snapshot of her father’s cruelty in a scene from childhood where her father murders a dog by forcing him to run in circles until he dies. This is in response to the dog biting him.

After her stay in the hospital it seems like she has a full psychiatric break in which she crushes a baby bird to death in her bare hands.

Part 2

Part two of this story begins on equally bleak terms, the subject of the story is once again the wife but this time she is the object of affection of her brother in law. It’s interesting that King chooses to give the vegetarian no agency in her story-although I can see how this narrative technique emphasizes the lack of agency she has in her own life. We hear more about hers story and the narration clarifies we are now in the period immediately after part one’s events

and that the Yeong Hye’s husband has decided to divorce her. I think the reader feels a certain sense of dread knowing the nature of the brother in law and that he seeks to reach out to her after her divorce.

The author then goes in great detail to describe that the brother in law’s newfound attraction to his sister-in law is directly in proportion to her “Mongolian Mark” a sort of birthmark that kids have that goes away before adulthood. This relation to childhood and his attraction to her causes the reader immediate revulsion and feels premonitory to the events that might take place later in the novel.

The brother in law chooses to then use her as subject for the art he’s been wanting to make, and paints her naked body while filming himself doing do. As he paints he remarks often that he does not see her body while painted as sexual- her desire to extinguish the life from her body has also “murdered” her existence as a sexual being at this moment. During this session he also takes time to think about her comfort with nakedness and the time she spent in the hospital- it’s worth noting that both the ex husband and her brother in law focus heavily on the idea of her exposing her nakedness to the public as the most shocking and impactful element of her breakdown and not the fact that she had murdered a baby bird.

As we get more moments of the brother in law with Yeong-Hye’s sister we can see they have an equally one-sided and dysfunctional relationship. He often prioritizes his work and desires over her- leaving her to to take on child care almost single handedly. As she cries multiple times in frustration of him he is equally oblivious to her and only has concern with his desires in the end. We have the contrasting descriptions of him with Yeong Hye’s ex husband, whom he clearly hates, but acts almost identically just with a larger sense of moral superiority because he “appreciates” Yeong-Hye (even while he provides nothing for his wife or children.)

It is almost humorous the way our narrator crosses from “surely I couldn’t” to “I’m planning on orchestrating” concerning his vivid sex fantasy surrounding his sister in law. He chooses the other subject- J, his studio mate and is going to force them into pornography somehow. Meanwhile he brushes off his wife and whines about her lack of anger at his behavior. He sees her impassivity and lack of anger at him as a character flaw.

The brother in law ultimately has an old friend paint flowers on him, and then has sex with his sister in law. As he’s discovered he mentions regret only in the context of his feelings and doesn’t seem to regard much for his sister in law or his own wife.

Part 3

This final part is told in perspective of Yeong Hye’s sister, who we learn is her elder of four years.

We know that Yeong Hye is in a psychiatric hospital as she receives a call that she has gone missing, and we know that she goes to visit her.

We also get part of a chapter that describes her life with her husband as lonely and alienating- when she realizes there is a possibility her husband never loved her and even when they were together her song didn’t seem to know he existed.

These parts seem to be treated in the vein of short stories- there is a character with obsession or affliction whose condition leads inevitably to their demise.

Yeong Hye’s attempts at freeing herself from the tyranny of her existence drive away her terrible husband but also incite her mental breakdown. Th brother in law’s sexual obsession with Yeong Hye leads to the cracks in his own marriage finally consuming him and he engages in creating pornography and then having sex with Yeong Hye. Knowing how much more conservative Korea is towards sex can illuminate the reader to how scandalous this text could be perceived to the intended audience.

In this chapter we are met with a constant repetition of blame- everyone blames themselves for Yeong-Hye’s inability to engage with society “properly.” Character by character we see the ways she has supposedly been failed by their actions or maybe society at large.

There is this larger motif of plants and trees, Yeong-Hye keeps saying she has become a tree. This maybe relates to her trauma with the flowers in the second chapter and then her larger aversion to meat. She is self-inflicting the pain she has caused animals and nature and this pain mimics the pain that society and these other characters inflict upon her.

The novel then ends in a somewhat open ended way, both in that the literal events are a tad obtuse and then the metaphor is a little disconnected. She mentions in a passage how easy it was to abandon her child- this goes along well with In-hye’s character as the self sacrificial character who experiences the same harshness of life that Yeong-hye has. Still we are left open to this idea of whether or not she has actually abandoned her child? Or is he at home with some kind of sitter while she tends to Yeong-Hye. Yeong-Hye is neither entirely living nor dying as she very well seems to want to; neither sister ends the novel in any kind of resolution but it does seem like In-Hye’s perspective is very much in opposition of Yeong-Hye’s. She admits she too feels stifled and has her own desires- but can’t give in to them for feel of societal pressure or perhaps somewhat the unknown. In many ways In-Hye is an agent of upholding the same societal structures that got Yeong-Hye to the way she is.

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danimacuk's review

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dark emotional mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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jessicamusch's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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