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abigailgrims's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
happysun's review against another edition
Very intellectual and stream of consciousness to the point that it is extremely hard to follow. The beginning is about anal sex. I think for some people the description of Nelsons husband "fucking [them] in the ass" on the first page of an otherwise reflective/poetic/intellectual memoir makes the experience more avant-garde, especially when increasingly crass descriptors are used very repeatedly. I just found it jarring, irritating and uncomfortable. I couldn't get past it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
ingebored's review against another edition
slow-paced
2.0
I really wanted to like this book, but I found it lazy and ironically normative. From Nelson's almost comical insistance that she is not normative because she likes anal to the continuously condescending tone towards normative lives is really tiresome. The interesting points are fragmented and the themes don't tie together very well. I cringed when Nelson describes giving her child a Native American name without having any ties to Indigenous culture, and then immediately justifies it by one Indigenous woman saying it was okay.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content and Terminal illness
Minor: Cultural appropriation
milliebluecapon's review against another edition
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Body shaming, Cancer, Medical content, and Abortion
elizabeth_1898's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Pregnancy
talin's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Death, Vomit, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
estefaniavelez's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
u_0's review against another edition
I am only 5% in but I think I should DNF it. There is a lot of beautiful language here but I don't think it's for me. I thought the story was fiction but it's a memoir that reads like a diary. The writing is at times extremely beautiful and poignant but other times it was chaotic, pretentious, and impossible to follow. I might continue but it's really hard for me to read the book given she's talking about real people, it just feels like I'm invading everyone's privacy. I hope later on in the book queerness and gendernormativity are explored with more diversity and intersectionality. At this point I would rate it 3/5 stars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Pregnancy
robinks's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
slow-paced
3.25
As a disclaimer: I think this book would’ve come across better in print format instead of audiobook. Some of the formatting and content felt disjointed in audio. That being said, I had a hard time figuring out what this story was trying to communicate, though it did bring up some good questions about blended families for reflection.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Transphobia, Stalking, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Deadnaming, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Death of parent, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Cancer and Abortion
lottiegasp's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
This is a beautifully written memoir of Nelson's relationship with her trans partner Harry, her stepson and their new baby. As a queer feminist in what can be mistaken as a heteronormative family, Nelson explores issues of gender, queerness, feminism, family and motherhood.
I thought it had really interesting perspectives about being queer, feminist and shunning societal norms while cherishing love and family. Rightfully so, a lot of feminism focusses on empowering women and genderqueer people to be single and child-free, to not be stuck in unfulfilling and unequal relationships, and to find and cherish love elsewhere. But for people who do seek and find love through their romantic partner and children, I think it is important to consider how to do these things in a way that does not simply reinforce the hetero status quo. This is something Nelson grapples with, while portraying how she and Harry have approached things.
At some parts in the middle I found the writing and references to other scholars a bit dense. Nevertheless, I overall appreciated the rich, aesthetic literary writing style, which is perhaps more common in fiction than memoirs.
I thought it had really interesting perspectives about being queer, feminist and shunning societal norms while cherishing love and family. Rightfully so, a lot of feminism focusses on empowering women and genderqueer people to be single and child-free, to not be stuck in unfulfilling and unequal relationships, and to find and cherish love elsewhere. But for people who do seek and find love through their romantic partner and children, I think it is important to consider how to do these things in a way that does not simply reinforce the hetero status quo. This is something Nelson grapples with, while portraying how she and Harry have approached things.
At some parts in the middle I found the writing and references to other scholars a bit dense. Nevertheless, I overall appreciated the rich, aesthetic literary writing style, which is perhaps more common in fiction than memoirs.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Medical content, and Pregnancy
Minor: Deadnaming and Transphobia
There are explicit descriptions of consensual sex. And detailed description of pregnancy and labour. There are some brief descriptions of transphobia, but the book focusses much more on trans joy. The author deadnames her partner once, presumably with his permission. There is a gutwrenching description of a parent dying, which is beautifully written but very sad.