Reviews tagging 'Dementia'

Una vita come tante by Hanya Yanagihara

100 reviews

chefjeng's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I don't know where to start with this one. Why did I put myself through this? Fuck this book! Am I glad I read it? Yes. Would I ever recommend it to someone else? Hell no. 
I thoroughly enjoyed the depiction of deep friendship, love and loyalty but I did find the misery of Jude's life over wrought at times and ridiculous to the point of far fetched at points but the treatment of grief, self harm and the legacy and effects of childhood trauma and abuse is vivid, raw and well done. The prose is beautiful and I will probably read more by the author, but I need a break after this one!
Twice (after the adoption and the start of Jude and Willem's romantic relationship) I wanted the story to end to have at least some semblance of a happy ending, but that wasn't to be and somehow I kept going to the end. Self harm episode after self harm episode, gut wrenching story after gut wrenching story. 
The "gay men are all paedophiles or doomed to live depressing lives and die full of shame and misery" trope wearing at times but I loved Jude, and most of all I loved Willem so I stayed with them till the end. Would I do it again? Yes. Should I? No. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Outing, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Ableism, Addiction, Drug abuse, Drug use, Terminal illness, Dementia, Fire/Fire injury, Cultural appropriation, and Classism

Minor: Ableism, Dementia, Abandonment, and Alcohol

enlamont's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Addiction, Body horror, Child death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, and Abandonment

rachel_emily22's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Biphobia, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Deadnaming, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Homophobia, Incest, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Acephobia/Arophobia, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Outing, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

ka_cam's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book is a lot. Strongly encourage reviewing content warnings. Well written and at times moving exploration of the impacts of trauma and love, especially friendship and chosen family, through the years. However many parts of the story felt excessive and flat-

The trauma Jude experienced was… gratuitous and frankly unrealistic. It felt like the author wanted a childhood as horrific as possible set 100 years before the young adulthood- what Catholic monastery (not orphanage or school) would be allowed by superiors and the state to raise a child? What child would, multiple times, be taken to many doctors and later attend public school with clear, visible, severe injuries known to be due to ‘breaking the rules’ and not encounter state intervention, however ineffective, at any point? Would a child in state care with a history of sex trafficking and abuse not be assigned a social worker or monitored for continued sexual abuse in any way? Never forced to sit through group or individual therapy, however ineffective? Just cut loose from foster care well before their 18th birthday without an emancipation or other process to attend college out of state? It just got harder and harder to believe and it took me out of the story a lot. Likewise while the love and devotion of his adult friends, doctor, and adoptive parents was heartwarming it was sometimes pure to the point of flatness, only Willem really reacted to J’s serious mental health issues with mental health issues of his own/poor reactions. They at times read like martyrs to the concept of healing trauma more than full characters

 All to say, the character development and research into the systems (Catholic, social service, medical, etc) involved felt lacking to a distracting degree. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Cancer, Drug abuse, and Death of parent

Minor: Dementia

thestarsaresad's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I don't even know what to say. Admittedly, this book was slow. I could barely get myself to read each day because of how long the chapters are; it's like because I knew each chapter would take me an hour minimum to read, I didn't want to. However, looking back on this after finishing, I think it's incredible how Yanagihara has managed to condense decades of life into this story. At times, I was jolted back to reality realizing that decades have gone by in Jude's, Willem's, everyone's lives. To be honest, it kind of reminds me of Bitlife a little bit, how you can see every moment of someone's life, both big and small.

Even though the first 600 pages are brutal to get through, I fully believe that they're necessary for the ending to hit as hard. I spent the last 100 pages of this book ugly-crying, to the point where I didn't even understand how I was able to continue reading. It's not even that Willem's (and Malcolm's and Sophie's) death are that gruesome, it's just the utter SHOCK that it happened. The whole book, we slowly learn about Jude's backstory, about his cutting, and about his constant medical issues -- we're given so much time to prepare for his death. It's because there's no indication at all that it will be Willem who dies first that's so shocking. Even more depressingly, it's life. But what makes the loss hit hard for the reader as well is that we've followed Jude and Willem and everyone in their lives for decades. It feels like we've been by their sides as they've grown up from children to adults. And because we've seen all the little moments, at the end, we too know just how much they have lost. Truly, why would someone want to write this? The saddest part of these last 100 pages -- what made me really cry -- is how it just follows Jude through his grief. It has all the little details of handling grief; there are the little moments, the ups and downs, and the people who are there for you. It feels like you're experiencing the grief of losing someone in your life that you love; it's the little moments that just make you break down. It's just so unfortunate that Jude had finally gotten to this place in his life where he has almost everything he ever wanted, and had to lose the one thing that is most important to him.

I think what truly makes this book great is that it has ALL the moments of life: the good, the bad, the ugly. Good people do good things, good people do bad things, bad people do good things, bad people do bad things. Good people have good things happen to them, good people also have bad things happen to them. Bad people have good things happen to them, bad people also have bad things happen to them. Yanagihara writes life as it actually is, without glossing over the ugly or playing up the good. But mostly, what I loved about this whole journey was seeing just how loved and loving people can be. That's the truest underlying theme.

After taking over a month to read this book, I will say that the amount of time I took to read A Little Life does not equate to how good I found it. Even though I took forever to get into this book and to really enjoy it, it is written so so well. I will say, however, that I don't think I'll be able to read this book again, at least not in the near future. Maybe when it's been years and years and I've completely forgotten what this book is about, then I'll reread it. However, I truly feel that this book is meant to be a one-time read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Eating disorder, Gore, Pedophilia, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Addiction, Body horror, Body shaming, Confinement, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Kidnapping, and Car accident

Minor: Infidelity, Blood, Dementia, and Abandonment

PLEASE make sure you look over the content warnings before you start. I'm not someone who normally looks at content warnings, and while I don't think it was necessary for me after finishing this book, this was definitely a book full of heavy content. Almost every content warning possible is checked off of the list for this book. What sets it apart for me is that Yanagihara goes into detail for the parts of the book that concern MANY of these content warnings. Even though I know the content warnings here are tiered, I'll provide a list of the content warnings that are most brought up and recurring in this book.

1. Self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide, suicide attempt 2. Adult/minor relationship, pedophilia 3. Physical abuse, rape 4. Medical content, injury/injury detail

Please, I'm telling you! Yanagihara does not hold back on the details, so know what you're getting yourself into. <3

luciejzql's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

J’ai reposé et recommencé trois fois le livre parce que je n’arrivais pas à dépasser la 2eme partie. 
Pendant la première moitié du livre, j’ai été complètement emportée par l’histoire de ces personnages, par leur manière de fonctionner ensemble et seuls, et intriguée par Jude et son passé. Et puis au milieu du livre, après quelque premiers récits d’horreurs, j’ai compris que le reste du roman irait de mal en pis. C’est tellement complaisant dans la douleur, dans la souffrance, dans l’incapacité à changer que ça en devient gerbant. Jude m’a été insupportable dans le dernier tiers et j’avais hâte de finir le livre pour enfin pouvoir passer à autre chose. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Incest, Infertility, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

mvegag's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Without spoilers I do have to say this was a complete journey on friendship and human relationships, everything that is said about the book is true, it has amazing writing, complex characters and it is very sad but I still think not sadness as conveyed just being sad and towards the end just a feeling of this is how life is.
All this to say, highly important to read trigger warnings this book is not for everyone and although I would love to recommend it to everyone I know as an amazing study on relationships in life, complex emotions, communication, love and affection, this is a very tough book that will have you feeling sad, hopeless, in despair, angry and touches basically all potentially triggering topics in detail. Reading it in the incorrect mindset I’m sure could lead to DNF’ing it and just having a bad experience and spiraling even further into whatever you might be going through.
If you feel like you need to be hit by life, to have your truths be told and feel exposed, guilty, sad and angry whilst following some extreme situations then by all means go for it and I’m sure you will “enjoy” it.
5 stars for the amazing journey it was, how complex relationships and emotions are handled and how it doesn’t care for any kind of expectations you might have, this is raw life, no sugar coating.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

ryoung23's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I think this is going to hold the title for my favorite book of 2024. It was heartbreaking and all so beautiful. It ended in the way I expected, but had some shocking things happen from beginning to end that I didn't expect. Jude deserved all the love he ever received in a life full of hate. I am so thankful that I finally read this book. I don't know if I'll ever read another book like it. 

There are A LOT of trigger warnings in the book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Dementia, Trafficking, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Vomit, Medical content, Kidnapping, and Dysphoria

Minor: Addiction and Gaslighting

anemosise's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

oh my i am conflicted. understand the criticism deeply, have yet to watch interviews with the author and tbh we'll see if i do! but! my oh my! what effortlessly beautiful writing and what beautiful explorations of human relationships. the dynamics of the (mostly) loveable main characters are so fascinating to me. the beauty of jude slowly learning to stop self-sabotaging his relationships with harold and willem and andy. beautiful. however. i wanted a lot more from jb and especially malcom, and some side characters deserved better development (richard, people at the law firm, caleb, maybe even ana? though I didn't mind some being less developed and simply reappearing names!)

oh and how powerful the ending would have been. if despite everything, despite all the trauma, jude still decided to live. what is the book saying by having him kill himself at the end? some experienced trauma is too unrecoverable for people? i guess I just find that level of pessimism disappointing. gotta think on it more.

i think simply reducing this novel to trauma porn is incredibly reductive of a lot of the work it puts into exploring.. well.. the little moments in life. the people who make the days worth living. yea idk. i think i liked a lot of this, but it left a really uncomfortable distaste in my mouth. man.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, and Sexual harassment

syellico's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Incest, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail