rubywarhol's review against another edition
4.0
I liked this book for its themes of heritage and identity, the lives you could've led, the courage to be yourself, feminism and LGBTQ+ vs. religion, normalising therapy and psychological issues, and the occasional philosophical thoughts about life and humanity.
The writing style is quite detached and intellectual, hard to comprehend at times, especially the passages about the Torah, but I think 95% of my knowledge about the Jewish faith now comes from this book. It was very interesting for me, having grown up completely without religion, to learn about something so different from the life I know and still relate to the characters and their struggles.
For example, the topic of coming back to your roots, your family and your home town, after leaving it for a bigger place with a more modern lifestyle to start over. This is what the main character, Ronit, has done; she is living an almost deliberately rebellious, crazy, non-conforming life, repressing the parts of her that long for safety and tradition. But there is something about her roots that she cannot shake off (in her case literally stuck under her skin - I really liked that metaphor).
In the beginning, I didn't like Ronit's character very much because she kept going out of her way to be rude, cause trouble, and disagree with everyone, and she didn't seem to care about anything at all. But then I realised her coldness was fake and she was just repressing her emotions, so I started having more and more sympathy for her as the book went on. There was a character ark for Esti as well, contrary to Ronit's - Esti grew louder and more rebellious as Ronit grew quieter and more peaceful. They both seemed happier at the end.
The friendship and romance between Esti and Dovid was described with compassion and sensitivity, and it was heartwarming to hear the story from Dovid's perspective as well.
However one thing I personally have to criticise is the fact that bisexuality was never addressed as an option. The women simply disregarded their past and present relationships with men and claimed they were gay. I don't want to tell fictional characters how to identify, but I feel like it could've at least been discussed that bisexuality is an option.
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Favourite quotes:
"Scott once said to me that you belong in three places: the place you grew up, the place where you went to college and the place where the person you love is. I'd add a fourth component to that: the place where you first sought psychological help. Therapy has a way of tying you to a location, of fastening you to its way of thinking."
"Not just any tree rot; the tree root. The root that is part of me. I tripped on it when I was thirteen, whacked myself, spun round and managed to cut my elbow open. I bled all over it. There's a tiny bit of bark still in there, small and dark beneath the skin."
"What is the shape of time? On occasion, we may feel that time is circular. The seasons approach and retreat, the same every year. Night follows day follows night follows day. The festivals arrive in their time, cycling one after the other. And each month, the womb and the moon together grow fat and fertile, then bleed away, and begin to grow once more. It may seem that time leads us on a circling path, returning us to where we began.
In other moodds, we may view time as a straight and infinite line, dizzying in its endlessness. We travel from birth to death, from past to future, and each second which ticks by is gone forever. We talk of managine time, but time manages us, hurrying us along where we might have wishes to linger. We can no more halt time than the moon can halt her nightly journey across the sky.
As is so often the case, these two seemingly irreconcilable observations combine to form the truth. Time is spiral.
Our journey through time may be compared to an ascent around the outside of a round tower.
We travel, it is true, and can never return to the places we have left. However, as each revolution brings us higher and further, it also brings us round to encounter the same vistas we have seen before. Every Shabbat is different to the Shabbat before; nonetheless every Shabbat is Shabbat. Each day brings evening and morning, yet no day will ever be repeated. The moon, waxing and waning in accordance with the wishes of her Creator, is our example: always changing, always the same.
We should remember this. Often it may seem that time has taken us very far from our origin. But if we take only a few more steps, we will round the corner and see a familiar place. And sometimes it may seem that in all our travelling we have returned to the place where we began. But although the view may be similar, it will never be identical; we should remember that there is no return."
"They didn't deserve me smashing my life straight into theirs. It can't have been right that I did. And if I hadn't? Yeah, that wouldn't have been right either."
"He had the sensation that currents of air were moving far above his head. Now, they merely ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, but one day they would sweep him up and bear him lightly but firmly to a new and mysterious shore."
"Dr Feingold says the subconscious knows no past or future. For the subconscious, everything is happening right now. Trauma that happened when you were four still feels exactly as threatening now as it did then."
"Were we to ask this woman, in the instant at which the pain is most extreme, whether she is unhappy, we would be met with incomprehension. She may be worried, exhausted, experiencing physical agony, but unhappy? Absurd. This is the happiest day of her life. Because that which she has built, that which she has created in her inmost self, is about to burst forth."
"We do not hear simply the pure voice of the Almighty as the angels do. We are not ruled by blind instinct like the beasts. Uniquely, we can listen to the commands of God, can understand them, yet can choose disobedience. It is this, and only this, which gives our obedience its value."
"A year, of course, makes all things seem easy. In a year, a mere stirring in the belly becomes a child - tiny and unknowable, his eyes clear blue and his hands grasping. In a year, the grass grows over a grave, softening its edges. In a year, the depths of grief become less raw, what was shocking becomes commonplace, what was talked of constantly becomes old and stale.
All things, when measured in spans of years, seem simple. But human lives do not occur in years but slowly, day by day. A year may be easy, but its days are hard indeed."
The writing style is quite detached and intellectual, hard to comprehend at times, especially the passages about the Torah, but I think 95% of my knowledge about the Jewish faith now comes from this book. It was very interesting for me, having grown up completely without religion, to learn about something so different from the life I know and still relate to the characters and their struggles.
For example, the topic of coming back to your roots, your family and your home town, after leaving it for a bigger place with a more modern lifestyle to start over. This is what the main character, Ronit, has done; she is living an almost deliberately rebellious, crazy, non-conforming life, repressing the parts of her that long for safety and tradition. But there is something about her roots that she cannot shake off (in her case literally stuck under her skin - I really liked that metaphor).
In the beginning, I didn't like Ronit's character very much because she kept going out of her way to be rude, cause trouble, and disagree with everyone, and she didn't seem to care about anything at all. But then I realised her coldness was fake and she was just repressing her emotions, so I started having more and more sympathy for her as the book went on. There was a character ark for Esti as well, contrary to Ronit's - Esti grew louder and more rebellious as Ronit grew quieter and more peaceful. They both seemed happier at the end.
The friendship and romance between Esti and Dovid was described with compassion and sensitivity, and it was heartwarming to hear the story from Dovid's perspective as well.
However one thing I personally have to criticise is the fact that bisexuality was never addressed as an option. The women simply disregarded their past and present relationships with men and claimed they were gay. I don't want to tell fictional characters how to identify, but I feel like it could've at least been discussed that bisexuality is an option.
-
Favourite quotes:
"Scott once said to me that you belong in three places: the place you grew up, the place where you went to college and the place where the person you love is. I'd add a fourth component to that: the place where you first sought psychological help. Therapy has a way of tying you to a location, of fastening you to its way of thinking."
"Not just any tree rot; the tree root. The root that is part of me. I tripped on it when I was thirteen, whacked myself, spun round and managed to cut my elbow open. I bled all over it. There's a tiny bit of bark still in there, small and dark beneath the skin."
"What is the shape of time? On occasion, we may feel that time is circular. The seasons approach and retreat, the same every year. Night follows day follows night follows day. The festivals arrive in their time, cycling one after the other. And each month, the womb and the moon together grow fat and fertile, then bleed away, and begin to grow once more. It may seem that time leads us on a circling path, returning us to where we began.
In other moodds, we may view time as a straight and infinite line, dizzying in its endlessness. We travel from birth to death, from past to future, and each second which ticks by is gone forever. We talk of managine time, but time manages us, hurrying us along where we might have wishes to linger. We can no more halt time than the moon can halt her nightly journey across the sky.
As is so often the case, these two seemingly irreconcilable observations combine to form the truth. Time is spiral.
Our journey through time may be compared to an ascent around the outside of a round tower.
We travel, it is true, and can never return to the places we have left. However, as each revolution brings us higher and further, it also brings us round to encounter the same vistas we have seen before. Every Shabbat is different to the Shabbat before; nonetheless every Shabbat is Shabbat. Each day brings evening and morning, yet no day will ever be repeated. The moon, waxing and waning in accordance with the wishes of her Creator, is our example: always changing, always the same.
We should remember this. Often it may seem that time has taken us very far from our origin. But if we take only a few more steps, we will round the corner and see a familiar place. And sometimes it may seem that in all our travelling we have returned to the place where we began. But although the view may be similar, it will never be identical; we should remember that there is no return."
"They didn't deserve me smashing my life straight into theirs. It can't have been right that I did. And if I hadn't? Yeah, that wouldn't have been right either."
"He had the sensation that currents of air were moving far above his head. Now, they merely ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, but one day they would sweep him up and bear him lightly but firmly to a new and mysterious shore."
"Dr Feingold says the subconscious knows no past or future. For the subconscious, everything is happening right now. Trauma that happened when you were four still feels exactly as threatening now as it did then."
"Were we to ask this woman, in the instant at which the pain is most extreme, whether she is unhappy, we would be met with incomprehension. She may be worried, exhausted, experiencing physical agony, but unhappy? Absurd. This is the happiest day of her life. Because that which she has built, that which she has created in her inmost self, is about to burst forth."
"We do not hear simply the pure voice of the Almighty as the angels do. We are not ruled by blind instinct like the beasts. Uniquely, we can listen to the commands of God, can understand them, yet can choose disobedience. It is this, and only this, which gives our obedience its value."
"A year, of course, makes all things seem easy. In a year, a mere stirring in the belly becomes a child - tiny and unknowable, his eyes clear blue and his hands grasping. In a year, the grass grows over a grave, softening its edges. In a year, the depths of grief become less raw, what was shocking becomes commonplace, what was talked of constantly becomes old and stale.
All things, when measured in spans of years, seem simple. But human lives do not occur in years but slowly, day by day. A year may be easy, but its days are hard indeed."
willowchloe's review against another edition
4.0
Very interesting portrayal of a community that I knew almost nothing about. It's a story of the repression of self that religion can cause.
iona8's review against another edition
4.0
I loved that Esti's way to disobey was taking a fighting stance, evidently provoked by Ronit's return: "Time, which is a circle, which will always return us to our starting points, has returned her to me (p.109). Alderman writing about Hashem's gift to people, He who "could have given us a painting, or a sculpture, a forest, a creature, an idea in our minds to explain His world. But He gave us a book. Words." (p.15), illuminated this reserved, calm, silent girl's inner force. "Our words are, in a sense, real. They can create worlds and destroy them." (p.16); therefore by speaking, Esti disobeyed, started forging her life at last.
amyyyyma's review against another edition
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
baguettekelly's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
kiri_johnston's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
ndfan19's review against another edition
Orthodox Jew--father died goes back to London and deals with old life --Good. S&S
saiesha_'s review against another edition
dark
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
pigegesy's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0