Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

I bought this book, because I heard rave reviews of it on the internet, and because I was intrigued by the title; I assumed that this book would be about finding the little joys in life, but instead it was a collection of conversations with a psychiatrist, interspersed with bits of text that could have been Instagram captions. It was relatable at times, but I wasn’t really inspired or moved at all, I think because all of it was so vague. I bet the author felt really vulnerable writing this book, but it didn’t read as vulnerable, because no specific details were given at all. Details would’ve elevated this book from a collection of transcripts and blog posts, to an actual story.

Maybe it was too early for the author to write this book. A lot of this book consists of figuring out what’s wrong with her, why she is the way she is, and there’s no conclusion at the end. I respect that mental health is a journey, and maybe a never ending one, but I don’t feel like this book did anything at all. It didn’t break any taboos, it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, and it didn’t inspire me.

What it did do, however, was show how incompetent mental health professionals can be. It felt very reminiscent of some experiences I’ve had with psychiatrists in the past, and it was frustrating to read how the psychiatrist in this book jumped to conclusions without seeing the full picture, suggested the author had disorders she didn’t really have, and didn’t seem to give any advice that she could actually work with - and if they did, it wasn’t written down. I appreciated, though, that there was a note by the psychiatrist in this book as well, and that they recognised their flaws.

I related to the author’s experiences quite a bit, and it felt very obvious to me that she was neurodivergent in some way. Not to diagnose someone I’ve never met, but the issues she described were very reminiscent of autistic burnout and depression and anxiety are very often symptoms of ADHD. If you related to this book, too, you might want to look into that.

I feel like this book might be revolutionary in East Asia, and the autism and ADHD diagnoses might not be as common over there, but it did not function well at all in the context of the Western World, and The Netherlands specifically. I also think the way this book was marketed did it dirty. So, unfortunately, I’m only giving this two stars, even though I really wanted to like it.

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kkulhannie's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

4.5

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jem_carstairs's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective fast-paced

3.75

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danimcthomas's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

3.25

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ruthhelizabeth's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

2.5

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booksjessreads's review against another edition

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dark informative reflective fast-paced

3.0

I was never really bothered about reading this book, but then it came in as a new book for my library and didn't have a queue of holds, so I took my chance and read it. Because of my previous apathy for the book, I didn't really go into this with any expectations, and I did come out of this book having an appreciation for the authors experience, as well as prompting my own self-reflection. I also do enjoy translated fiction, especially when written by women. This did give a good insight into the impact of Korean society on women's mental health.

I think this was a really easy-to-read memoir and it was very fast paced, which concerned me in areas that it was so quick to get through, despite the heavy subject matter. I appreciated that each chapter was not just dialogue between the psychiatrist and the author and was broken up with an introduction and an analysis of the conversation afterwards.

Despite this though, I did also feel the memoir to be quite average. Not that this book is supposed to be astounding, groundbreaking, or full of fancy prose. However, if it hadn't been so easy to read, I would have just DNF'ed. It also just felt very samey to a lot of the mental health memoirs and fiction that is already out there. There is supposed to be a second book coming out next year, but I feel like this is better as a stand-alone, and it certainly didn't grip me enough to want to read the second one.

Overall, an average memoir, but I would suggest it as a good read for those new to translated fiction with regards to Korean society and mental health.

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chb's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

2.0

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