arieltf's review
Because many conservative Christian communities still function like abusive relationships, people from these communities often struggle to identify abuse. Indeed, the traditional idea of the Christian God is an example of the ultimate abuser. "Worship me the way I want or I will torture you forever." "Only I have the power to resolve you of your sins and save you." Because if this, it can be difficult to help people from these communities break the cycle of abuse in their lives. I stumbled upon this book by accident, but it is something I will use in my advocacy with Christian survivors moving forward. It provides helpful advice that is grounded in scripture.
I want to bring attention to chapter 2 in this book, "Am I in an Abusive Relationship?" You can access a PDF of the full chapter link: here.
Notable quotes:
"According to surveys, one in four women will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetimes, and these statistics are probably underestimates. Sexual assault can occur in marriage. As a matter of fact, researchers have estimated that sexual assault occurs in 10–14% of all marriages."
"Lundy Bancroft, a consultant who has studied extensively the minds of abusive men, writes, “Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.” The issue of abuse is not only about having control of and power over someone else. The abuser uses power and control as tools to support his belief that he owns his wife or partner and that he is entitled to certain treatment."
"Chauvinism and misogyny are effects of sin...Chauvinism says that men and women have been created in a hierarchy with the male as the higher, superior sex—much like a king born into a family with a natural right to exercise authority over the rest of his nation. Chauvinism upholds that women, in contrast, are the weaker or lesser of the sexes, inheriting a natural role of submission to the man—like the citizens of a country who have no natural claim to authority. But we don’t believe that God created you to be in this role."
I want to bring attention to chapter 2 in this book, "Am I in an Abusive Relationship?" You can access a PDF of the full chapter link: here.
Notable quotes:
"According to surveys, one in four women will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetimes, and these statistics are probably underestimates. Sexual assault can occur in marriage. As a matter of fact, researchers have estimated that sexual assault occurs in 10–14% of all marriages."
"Lundy Bancroft, a consultant who has studied extensively the minds of abusive men, writes, “Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.” The issue of abuse is not only about having control of and power over someone else. The abuser uses power and control as tools to support his belief that he owns his wife or partner and that he is entitled to certain treatment."
"Chauvinism and misogyny are effects of sin...Chauvinism says that men and women have been created in a hierarchy with the male as the higher, superior sex—much like a king born into a family with a natural right to exercise authority over the rest of his nation. Chauvinism upholds that women, in contrast, are the weaker or lesser of the sexes, inheriting a natural role of submission to the man—like the citizens of a country who have no natural claim to authority. But we don’t believe that God created you to be in this role."
jessicabrazeal's review
4.0
A good option for more evangelically leaning folks to discuss domestic violence.
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