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You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion by Meera Shah
10 reviews
stephmcoakley's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Abortion, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
cassidy_rain's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
“My hope is that this collection of stories about abortion will enable others to share theirs. Opening up about a personal experience, let alone a controversial one, is scary. But with risk comes reward. Stories have power.”
You’re The Only One I’ve Told is a powerful and informative collection of stories of women/child-bearing persons who have had abortions. The author is a reproductive health doctor who performs abortions and aims to end the stigma against the medical procedure.
I really appreciate how this is informative, yet takes a compassionate and empathic approach to the subject matter. I’m someone who already vehemently believes in a person’s right to choose. I work in healthcare and have studied health education and women’s health, and this even left with me some things to think about. I really enjoyed the storytelling with information and facts sprinkled throughout each chapter. You can learn a lot in an easy to digest manner. There are so many scenarios when someone may need or want an abortion and this does a great job of diving into that nuance.
“There is no such thing as a good abortion or a bad abortion or someone who is worthy of an abortion or someone who is not.”
You’re The Only One I’ve Told is a powerful and informative collection of stories of women/child-bearing persons who have had abortions. The author is a reproductive health doctor who performs abortions and aims to end the stigma against the medical procedure.
I really appreciate how this is informative, yet takes a compassionate and empathic approach to the subject matter. I’m someone who already vehemently believes in a person’s right to choose. I work in healthcare and have studied health education and women’s health, and this even left with me some things to think about. I really enjoyed the storytelling with information and facts sprinkled throughout each chapter. You can learn a lot in an easy to digest manner. There are so many scenarios when someone may need or want an abortion and this does a great job of diving into that nuance.
“There is no such thing as a good abortion or a bad abortion or someone who is worthy of an abortion or someone who is not.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Infertility, Rape, Sexual assault, and Religious bigotry
Minor: Child abuse and Domestic abuse
lilsneakybandit's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
Wonderful book that opened my eyes to many aspects of abortion I hadn’t considered before. Subtracted half a star because unfortunately I really didn’t like one of the narrators.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, and Abortion
natreadthat's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I wish I had read this sooner. It feels almost dystopian after the overturn of Roe v. Wade (what doesn’t feel dystopian lately?). As you can imagine, this isn’t a fun read you chit-chat about. It is, however, a crucial book, especially in today’s political climate. Why are the decisions of pregnant people—often made together with their partner—political? Who the hell knows.
What I do know is that abortion has become a major political argument, and the loudest voices are not the people who have actually had the procedure done. One in four American women will have an abortion, for a multitude of reasons, at some point in their lives. You’re the Only One I’ve Told shares the accounts of people who have. People who were young, people who couldn’t financially support another child, people who were in abusive relationships, people whose babies wouldn’t survive or would only know a life of pain, people who so badly wanted a baby. People shouldn’t have to be vulnerable in order for the world to listen and it shouldn’t be considered brave for doing so, but these people are. It’s the least we can do to listen.
As a Texan/US woman, it’s been horrifying to have my rights stripped away. As a woman who has fortunately never had to make this decision, I learned so much from this book and what people seeking reproductive health care truly face. Stats, high costs, arbitrary waiting periods, time limits, restrictions, state-sponsored scripts not based on medical science, misinformation.
Written by Dr. Shah, a reproductive health doctor, believes that medical care should be patient-centered and evidence-based. I’m not sure how you couldn’t agree with that. As someone who’s obviously pro-choice, I believe people who live in the Land of the Free deserve the freedom to choose what happens with their body. I hope you take the time to read this book and do so with an open heart.
What I do know is that abortion has become a major political argument, and the loudest voices are not the people who have actually had the procedure done. One in four American women will have an abortion, for a multitude of reasons, at some point in their lives. You’re the Only One I’ve Told shares the accounts of people who have. People who were young, people who couldn’t financially support another child, people who were in abusive relationships, people whose babies wouldn’t survive or would only know a life of pain, people who so badly wanted a baby. People shouldn’t have to be vulnerable in order for the world to listen and it shouldn’t be considered brave for doing so, but these people are. It’s the least we can do to listen.
As a Texan/US woman, it’s been horrifying to have my rights stripped away. As a woman who has fortunately never had to make this decision, I learned so much from this book and what people seeking reproductive health care truly face. Stats, high costs, arbitrary waiting periods, time limits, restrictions, state-sponsored scripts not based on medical science, misinformation.
Written by Dr. Shah, a reproductive health doctor, believes that medical care should be patient-centered and evidence-based. I’m not sure how you couldn’t agree with that. As someone who’s obviously pro-choice, I believe people who live in the Land of the Free deserve the freedom to choose what happens with their body. I hope you take the time to read this book and do so with an open heart.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion and Pregnancy
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Racism, Sexual assault, and Medical content
Minor: Child abuse and Rape
gabbadabbadoo's review
5.0
got 93% through and had to return
first nonfiction i (sort of) got through and i liked it! the author does a fantastic job of telling the stories about the various people abortion affects - doctors, patients, partners, and the lives they touch. these don't feel like semi-anonymous descriptions of recipients of abortions, but being introduced to real, complex people in real complex situations spread across decades. i felt connected to each experience and never like i was just listening to words. amazing storytelling while weaving in the authors own experiences, perspectives, and facts about abortion in america.
first nonfiction i (sort of) got through and i liked it! the author does a fantastic job of telling the stories about the various people abortion affects - doctors, patients, partners, and the lives they touch. these don't feel like semi-anonymous descriptions of recipients of abortions, but being introduced to real, complex people in real complex situations spread across decades. i felt connected to each experience and never like i was just listening to words. amazing storytelling while weaving in the authors own experiences, perspectives, and facts about abortion in america.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Grief, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Racism, Rape, Sexism, and Medical trauma
Minor: Child abuse and Medical content
applesodaperson's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Wow. Just wow. This book is so incredibly powerful and so important. This book made me feel such a range of emotions, but also I learned so much about abortion from it. This is obviously a very controversial topic, but Shah gives it the maximum amount of nuance and respect possible.
This book very much made me focus on some really hard feelings, specifically, when hearing the stories that comprise most of the book. Many of them made me feel very bad for all the women who have had to go through birth complications, or who have trouble accessing abortion care.
I also absolutely loved how inclusive this book was, like I genuinely cannot think of a way it could have been more inclusive. It talked extensively about how race factors into abortion care and also used incredibly inclusive language surrounding gender, which I really appreciated.
I think this book is just so important, because it highlighted so many different experiences and like Shah says, the best way to get people who are opposed to abortion to better understand it is by sharing stories. There are so many myths around why people get abortions, and this book does such a good job at confronting those myths head on and disproving them. I just really think a lot of people need to take a more medical view of abortion, and realize that it is unethical of them to force their religious values onto someone else. It was also so gut wrenching to to know that Roe v. Wade has been overturned since this book came out, which has ruined so many lives and made things so much harder for so many people.
Overall, I loved this book and I genuinely think everyone should read it.
The one reason I did not give it a full 5 stars is because I think one or two of the stories felt a bit repetitive and could have been cut out.
But besides that, this book is pretty much perfect.
Listened to on Libby.
This book very much made me focus on some really hard feelings, specifically, when hearing the stories that comprise most of the book. Many of them made me feel very bad for all the women who have had to go through birth complications, or who have trouble accessing abortion care.
I also absolutely loved how inclusive this book was, like I genuinely cannot think of a way it could have been more inclusive. It talked extensively about how race factors into abortion care and also used incredibly inclusive language surrounding gender, which I really appreciated.
I think this book is just so important, because it highlighted so many different experiences and like Shah says, the best way to get people who are opposed to abortion to better understand it is by sharing stories. There are so many myths around why people get abortions, and this book does such a good job at confronting those myths head on and disproving them. I just really think a lot of people need to take a more medical view of abortion, and realize that it is unethical of them to force their religious values onto someone else. It was also so gut wrenching to to know that Roe v. Wade has been overturned since this book came out, which has ruined so many lives and made things so much harder for so many people.
Overall, I loved this book and I genuinely think everyone should read it.
The one reason I did not give it a full 5 stars is because I think one or two of the stories felt a bit repetitive and could have been cut out.
But besides that, this book is pretty much perfect.
Listened to on Libby.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Miscarriage, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Minor: Child abuse, Misogyny, and Racism
percys_panda_pillow_pet's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Even as a staunch "pro-choice" activist, this book opened my eyes to many situations and facts about reproductive health that I was not aware of. After reading You're the Only One I've Told, I went straight to my friends that are in relationships and most at risk for impromptu pregnancies and relayed information that I felt was valuable to know. For example, I did not realize that the majority of insurance companies didn't cover abortion, and that abortion was so expensive. Logically, it makes sense given the political climate around abortion, but I was so caught up in whether or not abortion would be criminalized, that I never thought about other roadblocks that could prevent proper reproductive health care.
Because of this new information, I became more aware of the privilege of simply not being in a relationship. I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy or abortion and all the nuances that come with it. I am so thankful for not just the author for putting together this anthology of stories, but also for being candid about facts, AND for the people who consented to their stories being published. I felt like Dr. Shah's point about the visibility of stories was so poignant after reading this book.
I think my only critique was that I wish that more queer perspectives could've been included, especially a trans man's experience. There really isn't enough about what it is like to be a trans man and experience something like pregnancy, whether wanted or not. However, I loved that Dr. Shah included the perspective of a man because they are integral to the conversation about abortion, just not in the way people expect. As well, Dr. Shah attempts to honor any perspective she could not include in the book in her introduction, and I understand that it would be impossible to represent everyone in one book.
Perhaps with more awareness of this topic, and the ability to speak more freely, more experiences and voices can be lifted up and heard. I highly recommend this book and hope more like it follow.
Because of this new information, I became more aware of the privilege of simply not being in a relationship. I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy or abortion and all the nuances that come with it. I am so thankful for not just the author for putting together this anthology of stories, but also for being candid about facts, AND for the people who consented to their stories being published. I felt like Dr. Shah's point about the visibility of stories was so poignant after reading this book.
I think my only critique was that I wish that more queer perspectives could've been included, especially a trans man's experience. There really isn't enough about what it is like to be a trans man and experience something like pregnancy, whether wanted or not. However, I loved that Dr. Shah included the perspective of a man because they are integral to the conversation about abortion, just not in the way people expect. As well, Dr. Shah attempts to honor any perspective she could not include in the book in her introduction, and I understand that it would be impossible to represent everyone in one book.
Perhaps with more awareness of this topic, and the ability to speak more freely, more experiences and voices can be lifted up and heard. I highly recommend this book and hope more like it follow.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Addiction, Cancer, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Infertility, Transphobia, Blood, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Infidelity and Car accident
shannonmmay's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Child abuse, Child death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Rape, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Abortion, and Pregnancy
yourbookishbff's review
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
5.0
You're the Only One I've Told, by Dr. Meera Shah, is an incredibly compelling collection of abortion stories. Dr. Shah is a physician who provides abortions and reproductive healthcare to patients in New York, but her compilation of stories spans experiences across (and outside of) the US. She highlights a diverse cross-section of people, effectively evidencing the thousands of intricacies in any reproductive healthcare decision. Each story is told in close collaboration with the story's owner, and each story is complemented by contextual details about the specific state/country the patient lived in (and thus, the various legal challenges they faced).
In bringing these stories together in a single collection, Dr. Shah examines the personal, relational, familial, religious, cultural, medical and legal layers in every decision, showing us just how complex pregnancy decisions can be. We hear the stories of single people, married parents with children, nonbinary and trans people, people of color, young and not-so-young people, people seeking care hundreds - and sometimes thousands - of miles from home, people who have had multiple abortions, people who have encountered planned pregnancies with complex diagnoses and people who have encountered unplanned pregnancies and so many more. No two stories are alike, making the black-and-white legal barriers they each face all the more absurd. It is particularly eye-opening to see just how inaccessible reproductive healthcare is to the people highlighted in these stories, and this was written and published BEFORE the reversal of Roe vs. Wade. Abortion access has been steadily eroding for decades, and when you see intimately in these accounts the real people that these mostly state-led restrictions have impacted, it's heart wrenching.
In bringing these stories together in a single collection, Dr. Shah examines the personal, relational, familial, religious, cultural, medical and legal layers in every decision, showing us just how complex pregnancy decisions can be. We hear the stories of single people, married parents with children, nonbinary and trans people, people of color, young and not-so-young people, people seeking care hundreds - and sometimes thousands - of miles from home, people who have had multiple abortions, people who have encountered planned pregnancies with complex diagnoses and people who have encountered unplanned pregnancies and so many more. No two stories are alike, making the black-and-white legal barriers they each face all the more absurd. It is particularly eye-opening to see just how inaccessible reproductive healthcare is to the people highlighted in these stories, and this was written and published BEFORE the reversal of Roe vs. Wade. Abortion access has been steadily eroding for decades, and when you see intimately in these accounts the real people that these mostly state-led restrictions have impacted, it's heart wrenching.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Medical content, Medical trauma, Abortion, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, and Racism
Minor: Child death, Suicidal thoughts, and Transphobia
mscalls's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infertility, Miscarriage, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Abortion
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Rape