noraannwallace's review
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
sde's review
3.0
This is an older book that I had avoided reading because the title and the book jacket made it sound kind of new agey/touchy-feely. It really wasn't at all. It is written by two psychologists who have worked with teen boys for a long time and thought that the fact that boys didn't understand their emotions was causing them a lot of trouble.
Much of what they wrote in the book was spot on. I especially appreciated one of the early chapters that discussed the cruelty of boys. So often I have heard people say that girls are so much meaner than boys. My experiences with my classmates, my brothers, and my son have not proven that to be true, but I thought I must have a unique experience. Seems I have not; it's just that adults tend to overlook or ignore what can be extreme cruelty among boys. This is one among many reasons why boys can't identify their feelings - the adults around them don't acknowledge them.
My complaint about this book is that there is too much description and not enough explication of what we can do to alleviate the boy problems the book describes.
Much of what they wrote in the book was spot on. I especially appreciated one of the early chapters that discussed the cruelty of boys. So often I have heard people say that girls are so much meaner than boys. My experiences with my classmates, my brothers, and my son have not proven that to be true, but I thought I must have a unique experience. Seems I have not; it's just that adults tend to overlook or ignore what can be extreme cruelty among boys. This is one among many reasons why boys can't identify their feelings - the adults around them don't acknowledge them.
My complaint about this book is that there is too much description and not enough explication of what we can do to alleviate the boy problems the book describes.
libbydmccarthy's review
4.0
If you just want to read the "take-away" you can get away with only reading the last chapter. The rest of the book is full of experiences that is to get you to believe the last chapter.
I can imagine myself wanting to read it again in a few years.
I think it will be helpful not only in understanding my son, but also helpful for my relationship with my husband.
I can imagine myself wanting to read it again in a few years.
I think it will be helpful not only in understanding my son, but also helpful for my relationship with my husband.
solitarysoul's review
4.0
Very insightful book for anyone with boys and/or men in their lives. I wish there had been more practical information in some areas but overall worth reading.
desirosie's review
3.0
This was an interesting book. It has been criticized in some reviews for focusing mostly on the stories of very troubled boys and not giving readers concrete steps to take to avoid that often heartbreaking fate. I think this book as many compelling and helpful insights that parents and educators can use, even if it doesn't give a concrete road map or dialog prompts for all of them. I was often brought to tears by some of the stories and explanations I read, and having lived through some of this with my younger brother who was labeled as a troublesome boy when he was very young, and suffered through grade school, high school, and college (which he never did finish and included a diagnosis of bipolar disorder that may or may not be accurate), I see the truth in much of what they discuss, and I have a new and better awareness of how I might be better as a parent to a young boy and how to better be his advocate as he gets older and moves through the school system.
kstep1805's review
4.0
This is absolutely a book I would recommend to anyone with sons, male students, nephews, boys they coach, anyone who may be a role model to a boy. But I do have a couple criticisms I just want to bring to the attention of potential readers. First, this book should be titled Discovering the Emotional Life of Boys, because it offered very little in terms of practical application. Though I would say, just getting into the heads of boys, especially troubled boys, creates an empathy that is lacking in our culture for boys of all ages. And in my opinion this is a good first step. A second criticism is that, having been written fifteen years ago, it tends to focus solely on the nuclear family despite growing numbers of non-traditional families. This may make it less helpful, I would live to see an updated version with newer studies being reflected.
I often look at boys and men and believe them to be emotionally impenetrable, even as I know this to be false. The authors don't attempt to try to change the world but instead carve out places in the world boys live in to make positive changes in how they grow emotionally. As a woman sometimes it doesn't feel enough but as they explain how we got where we are, these small steps may very well make a huge difference as each generation of men are able to learn to appropriately deal with their feelings. I thought the book held a good balance, at times it may make the most liberal or the most conservative among us flinch, trying to hold boys/men accountable while also creating understanding to move forward.
I often look at boys and men and believe them to be emotionally impenetrable, even as I know this to be false. The authors don't attempt to try to change the world but instead carve out places in the world boys live in to make positive changes in how they grow emotionally. As a woman sometimes it doesn't feel enough but as they explain how we got where we are, these small steps may very well make a huge difference as each generation of men are able to learn to appropriately deal with their feelings. I thought the book held a good balance, at times it may make the most liberal or the most conservative among us flinch, trying to hold boys/men accountable while also creating understanding to move forward.
pomegranateseedpress's review
1.0
Maybe because it’s dated but it felt like a lot of anecdotes and no real advice… I’d be agreeing in my head… yes this is something to address and then leave me feeling anxious about a situation with no real practical strategies on how to talk to my son or even deal with it… in pretty much every single chapter. I feel enlightened in all the challenges raising a hot now but feel completely I’ll-equipped to deal with anything. I feel like the overall advice is “hope you can afford to send them to good therapists”… I cannot recommend this book sadly.