liralen's review
3.0
I was nineteen years old when I left the Lindberghs, ending nearly eleven years with them, nearly fifteen years of shuttling between foster homes like a water bug between floating leaves and garbage. (200)
In some ways, as far as foster children went, McLain was lucky: she and her sisters were able to stay together, for one, and their last placement lasted years rather than months or weeks. It's that last placement that makes up the bulk of the book, and it ends up being a complicated look at security and lack thereof. Because they McLain did have security in that the Lindberghs kept them—but they did not have the security of knowing the Lindberghs would continue keeping them, and they did not have the security of being full citizens in their home.
Tina had more new clothes and nicer ones than we did, and received double our allowance, but we weren't overly jealous. How could we be once we learned Tina was the reason we had come to the Lindberghs' in the first place? Bub and Hilde had planned to have several more children after Tina, and although they tried for years to conceive, these attempts were foiled by what Hilde mysteriously termed "female problems." They might have given up if not for Tina, who wanted siblings as much as she had ever wanted anything. We were the solution. Adoption was too permanent, but foster kids were like ponies bought at auction—you could always take them back. (28)
And, too: This luck, if you can call it that, is relative. Staying in one place for eleven years didn't mean that there wasn't abuse before the Lindberghs, and it didn't mean that there wasn't abuse at the Lindberghs'. How do you call that good luck?
Although we'd lived with the Lindberghs for nine years, I didn't own anything that wouldn't fit in a Hefty bag. (185)
Although the description refers to a 'series of adoptive homes'—and that's not inaccurate—the number of homes seems less important than the fact that none of them were ever truly home. The title refers to something McLain hear from outsiders surprised that foster parents would take in kids and treat them 'like family', but perhaps 'family', too, is relative here.
Sometimes I shocked even myself, like when I was eight and called Bub into my room to ask him if he'd think about sending Penny and Teresa back with the social worker. He gave me a sound spanking and told me no good girl would have thoughts like that about her own flesh-and-blood sisters. I sobbed and sobbed, knowing he was right, and still could not stop thinking about how, if I were their only foster child, they might forget and start treating me like I was real. (123)
In some ways, as far as foster children went, McLain was lucky: she and her sisters were able to stay together, for one, and their last placement lasted years rather than months or weeks. It's that last placement that makes up the bulk of the book, and it ends up being a complicated look at security and lack thereof. Because they McLain did have security in that the Lindberghs kept them—but they did not have the security of knowing the Lindberghs would continue keeping them, and they did not have the security of being full citizens in their home.
Tina had more new clothes and nicer ones than we did, and received double our allowance, but we weren't overly jealous. How could we be once we learned Tina was the reason we had come to the Lindberghs' in the first place? Bub and Hilde had planned to have several more children after Tina, and although they tried for years to conceive, these attempts were foiled by what Hilde mysteriously termed "female problems." They might have given up if not for Tina, who wanted siblings as much as she had ever wanted anything. We were the solution. Adoption was too permanent, but foster kids were like ponies bought at auction—you could always take them back. (28)
And, too: This luck, if you can call it that, is relative. Staying in one place for eleven years didn't mean that there wasn't abuse before the Lindberghs, and it didn't mean that there wasn't abuse at the Lindberghs'. How do you call that good luck?
Although we'd lived with the Lindberghs for nine years, I didn't own anything that wouldn't fit in a Hefty bag. (185)
Although the description refers to a 'series of adoptive homes'—and that's not inaccurate—the number of homes seems less important than the fact that none of them were ever truly home. The title refers to something McLain hear from outsiders surprised that foster parents would take in kids and treat them 'like family', but perhaps 'family', too, is relative here.
Sometimes I shocked even myself, like when I was eight and called Bub into my room to ask him if he'd think about sending Penny and Teresa back with the social worker. He gave me a sound spanking and told me no good girl would have thoughts like that about her own flesh-and-blood sisters. I sobbed and sobbed, knowing he was right, and still could not stop thinking about how, if I were their only foster child, they might forget and start treating me like I was real. (123)
lindzee's review against another edition
3.0
A fairly depressing read that illustrates some of the gaps that society has for foster kids.
nmclaury's review against another edition
3.0
3.5 stars. I have really enjoyed some of Paula McLain’s novels and was so excited to read this book about her growing up in the foster care system. Even though it broke my heart, I thought she did a good job telling the story through her lens and her thoughts at the time (when she talked about being 10, for example, it felt like a ten year old was sharing her experience). It was a little disjointed at times and in some cases left me with more questions about the other characters, but given that this was her re-telling of it, I don’t think she set out to explain the actions of, for example, her foster mother.
lareine27's review
dark
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse
Moderate: Abortion and Body shaming
estherd1's review against another edition
4.0
This book gives you just a glimpse of what foster care and its challenges are about.
sfahrney's review against another edition
Personal memoir - slow and not too engaging but one gets the understanding of the impermanence of a life as a foster child.