Reviews with content warning for Grief - I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Reviews tagging 'Grief'

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez

80 reviews

gem114's review against another edition

hopeful sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Read this because it was added to my 11th grade curriculum. I was a little surprised by some of the more graphic scenes, but I do think kids will relate to the generational divides whether they come from immigrant families or not and that makes it worth any potential awkwardness in class. Will definitely need to give content warnings, though.

As an adult reader, I did struggle at times to be sympathetic to Julia. Maybe it’s my age and personal experience talking, but I do think there are some basic responsibilities that teenagers should have regarding chores, communication with parents, etc that she pushed back on more than was reasonable, and I think Olga’s secrets were unnecessarily over the top, but I can see how this will all make it more appealing to young readers.

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teresarosereads's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I feel like this book would be so important for teen readers to pick up and very relatable to so many. The novel covers so many different topics that affect teen lives including mental health, difficult family dynamics, the immigrant experience, having your first kiss and first sexual encounter, teen pregnancy, and more. Having just read the author's memoir before this, I could tell that she put a lot of her own experiences into the novel which was interesting to see.

The main character could be very judgy and negative at times which I've seen people criticize, but I felt like a lot of her judgment came from the fact that everyone was also judging her life and from her feeling like no one around her sees or understands who she truly is. The more I read the novel the more I felt that I understood her perspective and I really wanted her to find someone who truly understood her.

What is keeping me from giving this 5 stars is that I almost felt like it was trying to cover too many topics at once. All of the themes it discussed were important, but I felt like some topics weren't as deeply explored as they could have been if the novel only focused on a few specific topics. I wanted more details and exploration from some portions and I sometimes felt like the pacing was a bit choppy. I think the story felt unfocused at times and the more that new topics were introduced the more the story started to feel a bit crowded. I would have preferred if the story focused on a few key themes and explored them deeply instead of trying to cover everything.

That being said, I still think teen readers and even adults would gain something from reading this and it is definitely a book I would want in my future classroom.

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bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

I really appreciated 15/16-year-old Julia Reyes's messy personal development in this young adult coming-of-age story. Julia tells this story in first-person, past-tense POV, and this is a character-driven, slow-paced story that explores identity, grief, authenticity, and what it means to live. I am not Mexican, but I do share the identity of being a first-generation child of immigrants, and in that particular light, I deeply related to Julia's journey, especially the generational differences that threatened to dismantle any relationship she had with her mom or dad.

The story takes place in Chicago, IL after Julia's older sister Olga dies in a tragic car accident as she was crossing the street and distracted by her cell phone. Julia always felt she lived in Olga's shadow, as Olga was *the* "perfect Mexican daughter," and in the wake of her death, that shadow only grows. Her distinctions from Olga are under even more scrutiny, and it is a devastatingly heavy burden to bear. Julia was never the obedient daughter, she hated learning how to cook with her mom, and she constantly challenged her parents' authority. Her mom consistently calls Julia "ungrateful" and uses guilt as a way to shame Julia for not making her parents happy. It is painful to read, as it felt very familiar; the constant exhaustion of knowing that nothing you do will ever be enough to pay back your parents who overcame unimaginable trauma to come here feels insurmountable at times.

However, I admired Julia for speaking up and being so incredibly bold and glib. I recognize many people have called her "unlikeable" but I found Julia to be so authentic when I look back on my own teenage experience, pushing and pulling between being a first-generation kid who wanted to do well by their parents, but also wanted to be trusted and have a "normal" American teenage life. To talk back to my parents meant even more autonomy being taken away. That was something I rarely did as a teenager, because I was so scared of consequences. For Julia? Consequences be damned! Is she a bit flippant and ignorant sometimes? Absolutely. She made offensive comments like "hookers" and "gangbangers," but I also think that's representative of a young, angry, frustrated kid. Her phone would be taken away and she couldn't go to the library, and yes, she put up a stink, but she constantly advocated for herself, and I think she more confidently found her voice in therapy too.

There is a subplot of romance between Julia and Connor, which was illuminating for Julia, since she is mostly "inexperienced" as the story begins. I appreciated the argument that Julia got into with her friend about Julia being "uptight" and acting like she was too good for anything. We look for "yes men" and people who will become an echo chamber as friends, especially when we're young as we are rediscovering who we are. However, her friend didn't let Julia walk all over her or proclaim to walk through life as the only "right way". I don't know if that makes sense but this one interaction really spoke to me, and there are so many moments like this throughout the novel which force Julia to confront who she is, who she wants to be, and what that means regarding how she spends her free time, her relationship with her family, college, and writing as an occupation.

The final reveal of the secret life Olga was leading was sad but also satisfying for me to read, because it only affirmed to Julia that Julia would never live up to the "perfect Mexican daughter" ideal, because even her seemingly perfect sister wasn't. Some of it was an act, and she had to hide parts of herself in order to protect optics and make her parents proud. I appreciated this because it brought Olga down to earth, rather than being this unattainable ideal as Julia always thought she was.

This was a powerful narrative about Julia discovering not only herself, but the ways in which the world around her operates, and I highly recommend it to anyone.

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