Reviews

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family by Dan Savage

christiana's review against another edition

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2.0

Dan Savage reminds me of that guy at a party. You know, the guy who starts talking and seems pretty interesting. You heard about him from your friends and his life is atypical. You wouldn't mind hearing a little about it. But then he opens his mouth and you realize how self-congratulatory he is and that (Dan hopes) you're just there to marvel at him. Suddenly, you can't get away. You search over his shoulder while he drones on, looking for an escape method, but no one comes. He doesn't even notice your lack of interest and negative body language, he just plows on. He manages to alienate you (even though you agree with a lot of his core beliefs!) by picking on EVERYONE, even people who agree with him. And he manages to say it three different ways. Because of this, I am unsure who Savage wrote this book for.

There's a point where Dan Savage mocks Catholics, saying that they go to church service and then go right on using contraceptives. He then goes on to say (in a different part of the book) Catholics are a big part of the problems affecting homosexuals because everyone follows the rules to the t. No, Dan, you can't have it both ways. And in the process, no one wants to understand your thought process anymore after you refuse to understand other people's points of views and systems.

Listen, I think Dan Savage is great, even if it doesn't sound like it. I love the It Gets Better Project and that it exists. I think his life sounds pretty great. I'm glad he's around. I just don't ever want to read his books (especially not on audio, it was like the man kept yelling at me in the car) ever again.

jgintrovertedreader's review against another edition

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4.0

As the "gay marriage debate" was heating up back in oh, 2005, Dan Savage and his boyfriend (they dislike the word partner) were in the middle of their own debate. Should they or shouldn't they? They'd been together ten years, they'd adopted a son together, neither had any intention of leaving the relationship, they fully believed that gays and lesbians should have the right to get married, they just weren't sure that marriage was for them. They talk it over, going back and forth, receiving lots of input in favor of marriage from Dan's mom, and against marriage from their 5-year-old son.

Honestly, I read this for a book challenge I'm trying to complete before the end of the year. I think I saw Dan Savage once on Real Time with Bill Maher but other than that he's not on my radar. I keep my political opinions to myself. Has anyone ever changed the mind of someone else in a political argument? I think not. So let's just say that I'm a happily-married heterosexual female who thinks that gay people should be allowed to get married. And that's all I'll say about that.

Savage's memoir is, for the most part, hilarious, brutally honest, and straight to the point. He points out the fallacies in the tired old arguments trotted out against gay marriage, takes some potshots at its most vocal opponents, and chronicles his own personal debate within the debate. I laughed most of the way through it.

It did irritate me that Savage has no compunction about casting people around him in broad stereotypes, but at least he admits that he's a close-minded liberal (or something like that anyway). Apparently the entire population of South Dakota is fat, wants to kick his butt simply because he's gay, and doesn't have the mental capacity to read the New York Times. I shudder to think what he says about us Southerners.

If you have the ideology to enjoy this, go ahead and read it. It was entertaining but also a little sad to see that we haven't made much progress in the eight years since this was published.

sparklethenpop's review against another edition

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4.0

I kept having to stop and read passages out loud to E because she wanted to know why I was laughing so much.

maryvarn's review against another edition

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5.0

Must read for anyone who is, was, or thinks they might someday be, in a long term relationship, regardless of their sexual orientation. Dan Savage is hilarious and smart as always. I can't speak to the book's ability to convince homophobes that gay marriage should be legal, since it was preaching to the choir with me. I will say though that anyone who reads this and isn't at least a little bit moved must have tinfoil for a heart.

jkn303's review against another edition

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4.0

Hilarious book with some good food for thought.

suttonaw's review against another edition

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4.0

This is a really thought-provoking book, not just on the subject of same-sex marriage, but in terms of marriage in general.

trayceebee's review against another edition

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5.0

A friend of mine recommended this book to me, warning me that it's FILLED with the author saying "the 'f' word." She knows me well enough to know that doesn't bother me in the slightest--I think it was more a case of her wanting me to be proud of her for getting through all the swears! :)

I absolutely loved this book. I really enjoy memoirs, and Dan Savage speaks my language (including the abundance of 'f' words!). I found it interesting to hear his take on why or why not same sex couples should get married, why he and HIS partner, in particular, should or should not get married, and what his mother, his siblings, his & his partner's son, and everyone else in the world has to say on the topic!

I think it's fair to say this book is meant to be read & enjoyed by those who are more liberal-minded, i.e. those who are supportive of our LGBTQA members of the community. However, I also feel that it would be a good read for those members of the conservative crowd who are maybe curious about same sex marriages or maybe who just need to have a little reassurance about why "breeders" (heterosexuals) should marry, as well. (Or, as the case may be, SHOULD NOT marry.)

There's also a lot of talk about tattoos, with an emphasis on whether or not to get a loved one's name tattooed on your body. (Hint: not a good idea.)

I truly enjoyed this book, and I'm going to really try to find the time to listen to Savage Love more frequently (Dan Savage's advice column, via podcast).

lavoiture's review against another edition

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3.0

More like 3.5 stars. Some of it was really interesting, but overall, I thought it was just meh.

creads4love's review against another edition

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4.0

This was a fantastic book. Jeremy and I got engaged this summer and started reading it together as a way to think about what getting married meant - something Dan and his partner grapple with throughout the book. He uses humor and historical context to frame this issue very well, keeping us entertained and engaged (pun intended).

ericbuscemi's review against another edition

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4.0

Dan Savage's new show, Savage U, which premiered last night, is what prompted me to read his memoirs when I did. Having long been a fan of his "Savage Love" column, I was glad to see him get his own show, and was curious to learn a bit more about him and how he got where he is. It was a very interesting read.

I have to figure if I was reading a physical copy of this book, I wouldn't have almost done this, but since I read it on my Kindle, I figure the following warning will help others avoid the mistake I almost made: There is a fake ending 85% of the way through the book, so make sure you push past this "ending" and the about the author page, where there are two more chapters of his story.