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chehak's review against another edition
4.0
The phrases in the book get repetitive at times, but i feel that is why the conversation sticks, with the varied examples it gets easier to understand what goes in the mind of the person going through all of it. I liked this book and i feel that i would come back to it too. With all the bullshit we're fed by the media about how love is ever so painstaking and harsh and complex when it should be simple. Also with the trope of "I can fix him" in various forms of content when we know that an adult person is fully capable of choosing their path in life, makes this book even more important. It all boils down to the fact that one cannot give what they do not have; each person deserves to and should love themselves first instead of manipulating and gaslighting others to make themselves feel loved. It requires work, cognizance and dedication, but that's what enriches your life after you learn how to live a rich inner life.
abejas's review against another edition
1.0
"Every woman should read this book!!!" Well... No, i don't think so.
i think my thing with this book is that it focused WAY too much on the extra-analytical behavior, explaining in detail why this happened instead of how to avoid it. you need to get through more than half the book to read a page that actually talks about how to correct the pattern of settling with men who love you less than you do and then the first step is "Seek help" Well.. Obviously.
also, this book is severely heteronormative and forces a lot of gender stereotypes, maybe because the book is so old but some parts were just really hard to get through, to the point where i had to drop it completely. It was kinda repetitive as well, a lot of people recommended me this book under the pretense that "Every woman should read this book" but in reality, if you have had your fair experience with therapy and consider that you are aware of manipulative and toxic patterns, then this book is definitely not for you, it turns repetitive and kinda points out things you would notice if you know how to catch the signs (which i understand is why so many women DO feel strongly about this book and can relate to it). It truly just wasn't my cup of tea truly, i consider there are many other deeper self help books that can reach to the audience more than this one, especially considering how outdated it is
there are a few fragments i did like like the take on the date ! i feel like a lot of people can relate to thinking thoughts like that and i wished the book had explored more on these thoughts instead of focusing so much on hyper analyzing repetitive patterns .
i think my thing with this book is that it focused WAY too much on the extra-analytical behavior, explaining in detail why this happened instead of how to avoid it. you need to get through more than half the book to read a page that actually talks about how to correct the pattern of settling with men who love you less than you do and then the first step is "Seek help" Well.. Obviously.
also, this book is severely heteronormative and forces a lot of gender stereotypes, maybe because the book is so old but some parts were just really hard to get through, to the point where i had to drop it completely. It was kinda repetitive as well, a lot of people recommended me this book under the pretense that "Every woman should read this book" but in reality, if you have had your fair experience with therapy and consider that you are aware of manipulative and toxic patterns, then this book is definitely not for you, it turns repetitive and kinda points out things you would notice if you know how to catch the signs (which i understand is why so many women DO feel strongly about this book and can relate to it). It truly just wasn't my cup of tea truly, i consider there are many other deeper self help books that can reach to the audience more than this one, especially considering how outdated it is
there are a few fragments i did like like the take on the date ! i feel like a lot of people can relate to thinking thoughts like that and i wished the book had explored more on these thoughts instead of focusing so much on hyper analyzing repetitive patterns .
serinde4books's review against another edition
5.0
This book is about examining relationships, and how a person, mostly women, participate in those relationships in an unhealthy way. I loved my ex-husband too much, he wasn't the worst one I had loved too much, but he was the one that I changed after. The entire book was like reading my journey in the 4 years that followed, 2 years of very intense, very regular therapy, and then 2 more years of continuing the growth and the skills I had learned and application of them, to reaching where I am now. I understand why my therapist wanted me to read this, it describes the way my marriage was at the end far to perfectly. The preface spoke to my state of mind when I started seeing her in 2014, "Indeed that both were literately dying of their addictions, he from effects of chemical abuse, she from the side effects of extreme stress." I still cringe at calling myself addicted to love, it has such negative connotations in my mind, but just because I don't like it doesn't make untrue.
The book says "Loving too much does not mean loving too many men, or falling too often, or having to great a depth of genuine love for another. It means, in truth, obsessing about a man and calling that obsession love, allowing it to control your emotions ad much of your behavior, realizing that it negatively influences your health and well-being, and yet finding yourself unable to let go. It means measuring the degree of your love by the depth of your torment." That was me, maybe not the way I viewed myself but me. If any of this reminded you of yourself, I recommend this book. I have touched on my personal revelations from this book, but there was so much more that didn't apply to me, but may to you.
For more reviews see my blog: https://adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot.com
The book says "Loving too much does not mean loving too many men, or falling too often, or having to great a depth of genuine love for another. It means, in truth, obsessing about a man and calling that obsession love, allowing it to control your emotions ad much of your behavior, realizing that it negatively influences your health and well-being, and yet finding yourself unable to let go. It means measuring the degree of your love by the depth of your torment." That was me, maybe not the way I viewed myself but me. If any of this reminded you of yourself, I recommend this book. I have touched on my personal revelations from this book, but there was so much more that didn't apply to me, but may to you.
For more reviews see my blog: https://adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot.com
martii97's review against another edition
4.0
Questo libro mi ha insegnato molto su come rapportarmi con gli uomini e lo consiglio a tutte quelle che hanno problemi come il mio
nikla88's review against another edition
5.0
Un libro che ho dovuto leggere lentamente, cercare di non divorare ma invece di riflettere, rileggere, pensare... Un saggio che fa' bene a tutti, donne e uomini, che dovremmo leggere tutti perché tutti noi amiamo troppo, tutti noi cadiamo in certe brutte abitudini, chi più chi meno.
Io mi sono vista in alcune storie, ho rivisto una vecchia me in altre e ho visto amiche e amici in altre. Mi era stato consigliato dalla mia migliore amica e io a mia volta l'ho consigliato ad altri.
Mi commuovo solo a descriverlo, a ripensare a certi passi, certe situazioni.
Io mi sono vista in alcune storie, ho rivisto una vecchia me in altre e ho visto amiche e amici in altre. Mi era stato consigliato dalla mia migliore amica e io a mia volta l'ho consigliato ad altri.
Mi commuovo solo a descriverlo, a ripensare a certi passi, certe situazioni.
theythemsam's review against another edition
4.25
Though this book can be seen as outdated with how the author adresses men and women, I think if you or someone in your life, regardless of gender “loves too much”, they can benefit from reading this and understanding why they do the things they do and how we can help them. “Allowing yourself to be loved is much more difficult, because it has to come from a very private place. The place where you already love yourself.” “Only when we truly reveal ourselves can we ever be truly loved. When we relate as we genuinely are from our essence, then if we are loved, it is our essence that is loved.”