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phronk's review against another edition
4.0
Some truly laugh-out-loud moments and situations. They're connected by only the loosest plot, which never really goes anywhere, but the ride is enjoyable enough that it doesn't matter.
bundy23's review against another edition
3.0
Pure entertainment, the mostly juvenile humour can get a little tiring at times but it moves along so quickly that you get over it. Sadly it all gets a bit sentimental in the final 5th which kind of ruined the fun for me.
uncle_duke's review against another edition
5.0
After reading GRUNDISH + ASKEW, I had to get SMASHED (+ QUASHED, SPLATTERED, CHEWED, CHUNKED and SPEWED.) It is an absolutely terrific debut work from The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle. His self-described "aburdist" literature (I presume that would be "Abs-Lit" in Book-Speak) threatens an unrelenting simultaneous assault on all sensibilities - humor, horror, entertainment, mystery, revulsion, amazement, comedy, tragedy, gastric + even the psychic. And, the good doctor definitely delivers in this autobiographical story of a road-trip that all can relate to instantly.
However, I do not think the "Abs-Lit" genre adequately describes the full spectrum of imagination + style within Carbuncle's speculative fiction (Spec-Fi?). There is a bit of weird romance, but it is not Chick-Lit - also the odd paranormal, but not really Sci-Fi - possibly an attempt at Porno, but really needs much more research - and, since the reader is actually sharing a slice of life, possibly non-fiction (is that Non-Fi?) might be the most accurate tag. Knowing quite well the territory travelled by the author on this literary highway, it provides an extremely familiar deja vu all over again feeling - created by a carefully intertwined mash-up of Gonzo, Animal House, Elmore Leonard + Carl Hiaasen-esque storytelling - along with a big dose of Jerry Springer reality. The explosive emerging talent of The Dr. Reverend leaves the reader totally awestruck and awaiting the next installment in the Chronicles of Carbuncle ...
However, I do not think the "Abs-Lit" genre adequately describes the full spectrum of imagination + style within Carbuncle's speculative fiction (Spec-Fi?). There is a bit of weird romance, but it is not Chick-Lit - also the odd paranormal, but not really Sci-Fi - possibly an attempt at Porno, but really needs much more research - and, since the reader is actually sharing a slice of life, possibly non-fiction (is that Non-Fi?) might be the most accurate tag. Knowing quite well the territory travelled by the author on this literary highway, it provides an extremely familiar deja vu all over again feeling - created by a carefully intertwined mash-up of Gonzo, Animal House, Elmore Leonard + Carl Hiaasen-esque storytelling - along with a big dose of Jerry Springer reality. The explosive emerging talent of The Dr. Reverend leaves the reader totally awestruck and awaiting the next installment in the Chronicles of Carbuncle ...
mrfrank's review against another edition
4.0
This is the first book published by unrecognizable author Lance Carbuncle. Some may call it a comedy, some may call it bizarro, some may call it a road trip novel. They would all be right and still be missing the mark. SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, etc. etc. is one thing for certain, it is fiction as only the good Reverend Dr. Lance Carbuncle can write it.
You get pulled through these pages by your emotions. Carbuncle is a master at tugging on the readers feelings. You may be led to believe this is the story of a man looking for his dog but you would be wrong. SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, etc. etc. is a book about soul searching. It's an exploration of what it means to have a soul, what a soul is and where souls can be found. Its even about what makes a soul good or bad.
Along the way is Lance Carbuncle's signature humor. Its bit dark and its a bit pop culturish. An enjoyable part of this story are the little footnotes that appear along the way to add a little extra flavor. It's uncanny the amount of offbeat knowledge Carbuncle possesses (or at the very least has bothered to research).
If you've never read Lance Carbuncle before this book is a great place to start. If you have read him before check this out too. Carbuncle is inimitable and if you enjoy the offbeat genre mashing soul twanging read then consider yourself inducted into the Lance Carbuncle club!
You get pulled through these pages by your emotions. Carbuncle is a master at tugging on the readers feelings. You may be led to believe this is the story of a man looking for his dog but you would be wrong. SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, etc. etc. is a book about soul searching. It's an exploration of what it means to have a soul, what a soul is and where souls can be found. Its even about what makes a soul good or bad.
Along the way is Lance Carbuncle's signature humor. Its bit dark and its a bit pop culturish. An enjoyable part of this story are the little footnotes that appear along the way to add a little extra flavor. It's uncanny the amount of offbeat knowledge Carbuncle possesses (or at the very least has bothered to research).
If you've never read Lance Carbuncle before this book is a great place to start. If you have read him before check this out too. Carbuncle is inimitable and if you enjoy the offbeat genre mashing soul twanging read then consider yourself inducted into the Lance Carbuncle club!
melanie_page's review against another edition
1.0
Woooow. Chapter two and the dude wishes he could freeze time so he could rape women. When he unfroze time, she would "come to with a warm feeling between her legs and a smile on her face."
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape
xterminal's review
3.0
Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked, and Spewed (VBW Publishing, 2007)
Yeah, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked, and Spewed is a self-published novel, and yeah, it has most of the hallmarks of the self-published novel (a certain laxness in proofreading, verbiage that could have benefited from a professional editor, a rather silly cover, and a name-- which, by the by, refers to a type of breakfast potato, which I now must try-- that's truly awful). But as far as self-published novels go, this one's funny. Lance Carbuncle's self-deprecating humor kicks off on the first page and doesn't let up until the very end of the book. I'll warn you from the outset that some of this humor will probably not sit well with you. That just makes it all the funnier.
The book involves the owner of one Idjit Galoot, a basset hound with a fondness for beer and deviled eggs. We start off with said owner and a rather slow cousin of his on a roadtrip to Florida in a U-Haul containing, among other things, the stuffed body of his father. His mother will follow along with Idjit later. He realizes something is amiss, however, when Idjit starts appearing in his dreams. The two of them stop in a podunk Tennessee town where our hapless narrator sells his soul for a night of drinking and sells his cousin out in order to avoid a trip to a rural prison. And that's when things start getting really weird.
Politically incorrect, stupidly funny, endemically scatological, and featuring a character named Fat Elvis declaiming on the benefits of defenestration, Smashed, Squashed... is exactly the kind of book you don't want to read your kids as a serial bedtime story. Or perhaps you do. Your family may be odd. But if you enjoy laughing while being grossed out, this is certainly a book for you. ***
Yeah, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked, and Spewed is a self-published novel, and yeah, it has most of the hallmarks of the self-published novel (a certain laxness in proofreading, verbiage that could have benefited from a professional editor, a rather silly cover, and a name-- which, by the by, refers to a type of breakfast potato, which I now must try-- that's truly awful). But as far as self-published novels go, this one's funny. Lance Carbuncle's self-deprecating humor kicks off on the first page and doesn't let up until the very end of the book. I'll warn you from the outset that some of this humor will probably not sit well with you. That just makes it all the funnier.
The book involves the owner of one Idjit Galoot, a basset hound with a fondness for beer and deviled eggs. We start off with said owner and a rather slow cousin of his on a roadtrip to Florida in a U-Haul containing, among other things, the stuffed body of his father. His mother will follow along with Idjit later. He realizes something is amiss, however, when Idjit starts appearing in his dreams. The two of them stop in a podunk Tennessee town where our hapless narrator sells his soul for a night of drinking and sells his cousin out in order to avoid a trip to a rural prison. And that's when things start getting really weird.
Politically incorrect, stupidly funny, endemically scatological, and featuring a character named Fat Elvis declaiming on the benefits of defenestration, Smashed, Squashed... is exactly the kind of book you don't want to read your kids as a serial bedtime story. Or perhaps you do. Your family may be odd. But if you enjoy laughing while being grossed out, this is certainly a book for you. ***
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