Reviews

Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀

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rocomama's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

mari_teran's review against another edition

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challenging slow-paced

3.0

sherylk's review against another edition

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4.0

I really enjoyed this book, set in Nigeria. The story follows a young married couple who can't conceive. While they are content with their lives as such, societal and familial pressure force them to seek out other ways to have a child, most notably, through polygamy, common in their society.

Understandably, adding a second wife to their marriage is complicated, and other betrayals and lies follow. The two main characters are both sympathetic, and well-developed. And the book's final third is both devastating and relieving. The writing style was unique, and really drew me in.

karinapplesauce's review

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3.0

This is definitely not my typical kind of book (it's not sci fi, romance, or YA) but I did find it interesting. I feel like part of the reason I kept reading is because I don't know too much about Nigeria culture so the reading was a lesson in Nigerian history of the 80's (it may have taken me a little bit to figure out that it was not set in present day) and little references about everyday life.

I did not necessarily find the plot all that interesting, although it was set up in an intriguing way--little danglings of information that is slowly revealed. However...I asked myself once everything was revealed, did this fill me with excitement? No. Which is why I landed on 3 stars. All the stars for the beautiful writing, set up, everything. Not enough stars for the plot.

nadiamasood's review against another edition

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dark emotional informative sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book took me through every emotion—hope, admiration, anger, heartbreak, frustration, and even disgust. Adébáyọ̀’s writing completely pulled me in, and I just couldn’t put it down. I had both the ebook and audiobook from the library and when I wasn’t reading, I was thinking about it. I finished the book in 2 days!

This book gives a great glimpse into Nigeria’s culture, traditions, and family dynamics—some of which are actually pretty similar to my own society. It made it easy for me to relate to what the characters were going through.

Stay with Me starts as a love story but quickly dives into darker themes like toxic masculinity, cultural pressures, and the intense struggles around motherhood. Infertility and its mental toll is the central theme, which could be triggering for some readers.

Yejide is a complex character who faces immense pressure to have children in a society that blames infertility solely on women and defines womanhood by motherhood.

As the story unfolds, her husband's secrets, the stress of infertility, and societal pressure push Yejide to her breaking point. She grapples with both imagined and real pregnancies, shifting from the isolation of being childless to the trauma of loss, ultimately shutting down emotionally and leaving Akin behind. Adébáyọ̀’s portrayal of Nigerian culture stands out, showing how tradition often gaslights women into silence and sacrifices.

Set against Nigeria’s political chaos from the 1980s to 2008, I think the novel beautifully contrasts public unrest with the characters' private struggles.

The storytelling is smooth and engaging. I like how Adébáyọ̀ sort of skips long descriptions and just dives right into the drama and dialogue, making the book feel sharp and to the point.

There are a few reasons why I couldn't give this book 5 stars.

First, it's hard to believe that a university-educated grown woman who has access to a library to look for sickle cell disease is completely clueless about basic human reproductive physiology and is unable to suspect and look up impotence. Second, has NO ONE ever heard of artificial insemination? Not even the brilliant doctors treating Akin's condition? I am totally disgusted by the solution he came up with!!! And finally, how easily did Akin get away from both murder and attempted murder? He deserved punishment! I felt the ending was unfair to Yijide.

This book really drew me in and shook me. I get that people are willing to sacrifice a lot to have a child—and that’s totally their right—but crossing certain lines just feels wrong. Some mistakes come with a cost that can make us lose ourselves and our ability to love and care as human beings.

This book is great for readers who enjoy thought-provoking literary fiction, especially those interested in Nigerian culture. It may resonate with anyone navigating issues of fertility and identity, but be aware that it includes sensitive topics like infertility, terminal illness, death, and mental health, which might be triggering for some.

Content Warnings