kbranfield's review
5.0
I laughed and I cried-sometimes at the same time. An absolutely fabulous story that I hated to see end. Definitely a recommended read.
readinggrrl's review against another edition
4.0
I had a rough time reading this book. Maybe it hit too close to home since I just turned 44 this year, ended a 10 year relationship around this time last year and thought I would stay single forever. Of course that didn't happen and my ex-partner didn't die although there were moments when I thought that might have been easier. But here I am now in a new relationship and the thought of something horrific happening to her makes me cringe. Maybe it was because this book was so honest, and felt so real. I've experienced some of those feelings just during a break-up I can't imagine how hard it would be to all of a sudden be a widow. Gay or straight I'm sure people who experience this loss find it hard to function.
Through Barry's snarky comments and self imposed exile we watch as he spends the year after his partner dies searching for something to hang onto, something that will make him whole again. Its heartbreaking to read yet also amusing. Barry's take on life is often entertaining even when its sad. Despite some editing issues this book is a very solid read, and not your ordinary male love story, and yes it is a love story despite some of the sadness.
Through Barry's snarky comments and self imposed exile we watch as he spends the year after his partner dies searching for something to hang onto, something that will make him whole again. Its heartbreaking to read yet also amusing. Barry's take on life is often entertaining even when its sad. Despite some editing issues this book is a very solid read, and not your ordinary male love story, and yes it is a love story despite some of the sadness.
suze_1624's review against another edition
4.0
A journey of a book that I enjoyed and would put at 3.5 but went for 4* as I enjoyed it a lot. It is a story of the despair left after a sudden, traumatic death - but a story told with dark humour about starting out again in a whole new world, so dont let subject matter put you off.
A rich array of cultural comments and interesting characters. Barry is mid forties and for all of us over a certain age, regardless of if male, female, gay, straight, left or widowed can relate to the traumas he faces going back into the single pool after such a long time as a couple.
Loved the little vignettes of Barry's dating escapades - cant decide if they were funnily sad or sadly funny.
As with most books, there were a few places where I skim read (Jarod's rants and some of Margery) .
A poignant story of refinding yourself that I enjoyed
A rich array of cultural comments and interesting characters. Barry is mid forties and for all of us over a certain age, regardless of if male, female, gay, straight, left or widowed can relate to the traumas he faces going back into the single pool after such a long time as a couple.
Loved the little vignettes of Barry's dating escapades - cant decide if they were funnily sad or sadly funny.
As with most books, there were a few places where I skim read (Jarod's rants and some of Margery) .
A poignant story of refinding yourself that I enjoyed
sylvia_is_reading's review against another edition
5.0
This one really made me work hard to understand the cultural references. Some pages took me longer to Google then to read, I'm afraid I still missed most of them ;) LOL funny and crying out loud sad at the same time. In the end it left me with a hopeful and positive feeling.
iguana_mama's review against another edition
5.0
Cross-posted at Outlaw Reviews and at Shelf Inflicted
This story is one painful year in the life of Barry Grooms. He is celebrating his 45th birthday with Andy Morgan, his partner of 23 years, and a group of their close friends. Both men are successful in their careers, live comfortable lives, and are still deeply in love. Barry’s life is shattered when he learns that Andy and their pugs, Gertie and Noel, are killed instantly when a crane and empty 10-story building collapsed on his parked car while they were inside. Barry’s not even sure why Andy was there in the first place.
Now Barry has to deal with the sudden emptiness in his life and while reading his first-person perspective, I suffered right along with him. It took me four days to get through Barry’s story, not because it failed to hold my interest, but because it was so painful to me. Barry was like the close friend I didn’t know how to comfort. Spending too much time with him was emotionally draining, and I felt completely helpless in the face of his grief. I was thankful for his colorful friends and his supportive mom who were there to ease his grief when it became too much for me.
Andy’s very public accident hasn’t managed to stay out of the paper, and Barry is not in the mood for Christmas, so he takes off to their house in Key West, Florida. More friends, more reminders of Andy, and Barry sells his home and his business, and is off to New York City.
I loved Barry’s reminiscing that showed some of the problems he and Andy had as well as their deep love for each other:
It’s not all sad. There were wonderfully humorous moments too, like the one that nearly had me flying off the treadmill at the gym when Barry and his sister, Olivia, were working a summer job at Winky’s and Barry had to help her find her missing wart. Yes, you read that right.
Barry’s empty life fills up again as he starts dating and takes a management job at Theatrilicious, a shop specializing in rare and unusual theatre collectibles. He eventually meets a young man who makes him feel desirable, but this is not a romance story. Barry has work to do to move past his grief. There is more loss and heartbreak before Barry does find some healing and closure.
Though this story was sad and painful at times, it was also thoughtful and humorous. If my husband should suddenly die, I have a feeling I will be looking for Barry’s story to comfort me.
*ARC received from Dreamspinner Press through NetGalley.
This story is one painful year in the life of Barry Grooms. He is celebrating his 45th birthday with Andy Morgan, his partner of 23 years, and a group of their close friends. Both men are successful in their careers, live comfortable lives, and are still deeply in love. Barry’s life is shattered when he learns that Andy and their pugs, Gertie and Noel, are killed instantly when a crane and empty 10-story building collapsed on his parked car while they were inside. Barry’s not even sure why Andy was there in the first place.
Now Barry has to deal with the sudden emptiness in his life and while reading his first-person perspective, I suffered right along with him. It took me four days to get through Barry’s story, not because it failed to hold my interest, but because it was so painful to me. Barry was like the close friend I didn’t know how to comfort. Spending too much time with him was emotionally draining, and I felt completely helpless in the face of his grief. I was thankful for his colorful friends and his supportive mom who were there to ease his grief when it became too much for me.
Andy’s very public accident hasn’t managed to stay out of the paper, and Barry is not in the mood for Christmas, so he takes off to their house in Key West, Florida. More friends, more reminders of Andy, and Barry sells his home and his business, and is off to New York City.
I loved Barry’s reminiscing that showed some of the problems he and Andy had as well as their deep love for each other:
“If only I’d known. I would have been the first to apologize, not just then, but every time we battled. Early in our relationship, my suitcase had been packed by me and, a couple of times, for me, once being told, “Go home to mother!” I scurried for the front door, screaming, “At least I have one!” This made him cry. Over time, the luggage got nicer and the arguments remained petty, but we were careful they left no permanent nicks.”
“Andy and I carried a kindergarten school photo of the other in our wallets, behind our driver’s license, a reminder of who we were before we knew the other existed.”
It’s not all sad. There were wonderfully humorous moments too, like the one that nearly had me flying off the treadmill at the gym when Barry and his sister, Olivia, were working a summer job at Winky’s and Barry had to help her find her missing wart. Yes, you read that right.
Barry’s empty life fills up again as he starts dating and takes a management job at Theatrilicious, a shop specializing in rare and unusual theatre collectibles. He eventually meets a young man who makes him feel desirable, but this is not a romance story. Barry has work to do to move past his grief. There is more loss and heartbreak before Barry does find some healing and closure.
Though this story was sad and painful at times, it was also thoughtful and humorous. If my husband should suddenly die, I have a feeling I will be looking for Barry’s story to comfort me.
*ARC received from Dreamspinner Press through NetGalley.
gerhard's review
5.0
I loved this book. It is one of those novels that transcend their subject matter to become a universal statement, in this case about death and loss. But it is about so much more: regret, the inexorable march of age, the power of memory.
There is a wonderful scene towards the end where Barry Grooms undresses before a mirror for a merciless (re)appraisal of his mid-forties physiognomy. At this stage he is involved in a rather torrid but sexually satisfying (and, needless to say, short-lived) affair with a 24-year-old. “I stare at the beauty that comes automatically bundled and unappreciated with youth. I can’t be this anymore.”
What a brave and beautiful thing to say. It is probably a revelation as fraught with self-discovery as coming-out is in the first place. Sadly, it is also an epiphany that a lot of older gay men fail to experience.
There is another evocative scene towards the end when Barry discovers that his older friend Shorty is gay, from a generation where “men couldn’t always live openly together”. By the time the gay 90s arrives to sprinkle everyone liberally with fairy dust, people like Barry are already in their 60s. “An old man who likes other old men just makes people nervous.”
The book begins with Barry’s long-term partner being crushed to death in his parked car when a crane collapses at a nearby construction site. At the time he has their two pugs with him in the car. It is a macabre touch that allows Rodney Ross to explore the random, often baroque ordinariness of lived experience.
It is also the lead-in to a key scene at the end – just why was his partner parked there at that particular time? The (older gay) reader automatically thinks he was there for some kind of lurid pet-friendly assignation, and Ross certainly plays on this stereotypical perception. The truth, however, is far more prosaic and shattering. It is a delicate, pitch-perfect scene that had me crying like a baby.
You have to be careful when you write about sadness and loss: too much, and it quickly becomes maudlin; if the author is too flippant, it can become equally grating. Ross strikes a perfect balance, detailing Barry’s painful journey towards acceptance of his irrevocably altered life. There is one particular event that shapes this journey: when his mother becomes ill, and Barry realises she was already sick when he himself was grieving, but had wanted to spare him this additional worry.
Tender and painful at times, but always heartfelt and brimming over with the sheer unalloyed joy of being alive, this is a truly special book.
There is a wonderful scene towards the end where Barry Grooms undresses before a mirror for a merciless (re)appraisal of his mid-forties physiognomy. At this stage he is involved in a rather torrid but sexually satisfying (and, needless to say, short-lived) affair with a 24-year-old. “I stare at the beauty that comes automatically bundled and unappreciated with youth. I can’t be this anymore.”
What a brave and beautiful thing to say. It is probably a revelation as fraught with self-discovery as coming-out is in the first place. Sadly, it is also an epiphany that a lot of older gay men fail to experience.
There is another evocative scene towards the end when Barry discovers that his older friend Shorty is gay, from a generation where “men couldn’t always live openly together”. By the time the gay 90s arrives to sprinkle everyone liberally with fairy dust, people like Barry are already in their 60s. “An old man who likes other old men just makes people nervous.”
The book begins with Barry’s long-term partner being crushed to death in his parked car when a crane collapses at a nearby construction site. At the time he has their two pugs with him in the car. It is a macabre touch that allows Rodney Ross to explore the random, often baroque ordinariness of lived experience.
It is also the lead-in to a key scene at the end – just why was his partner parked there at that particular time? The (older gay) reader automatically thinks he was there for some kind of lurid pet-friendly assignation, and Ross certainly plays on this stereotypical perception. The truth, however, is far more prosaic and shattering. It is a delicate, pitch-perfect scene that had me crying like a baby.
You have to be careful when you write about sadness and loss: too much, and it quickly becomes maudlin; if the author is too flippant, it can become equally grating. Ross strikes a perfect balance, detailing Barry’s painful journey towards acceptance of his irrevocably altered life. There is one particular event that shapes this journey: when his mother becomes ill, and Barry realises she was already sick when he himself was grieving, but had wanted to spare him this additional worry.
Tender and painful at times, but always heartfelt and brimming over with the sheer unalloyed joy of being alive, this is a truly special book.
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