cecefaulkner's review
adventurous
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
eliselawrence19's review
1.0
Amanda de Cadanet has compiled a series of mostly mundane personal anecdotes with a heavy-handed self-help tone (despite her insistence in the introduction that "this is not a self-help book") and purposeless celebrity name-dropping.
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?
verystarry's review
5.0
As an American my first glimpse of Amanda DeCadent was a picture I clipped for my scrapbook of her with Courtney Love in cream colored gowns and a tiara. I'm not afraid to admit my shallow thought was "Oh my god she's gorgeous". This was pre internet so I had to grill everyone and their older siblings on who she was. Most people just said she was a socialite married to the guy from Duran Duran. I didn't really know what the term socialite meant and I don't think that's fitting of who she was, but you know teenage America in the 90s. So I had this massive crush on her and just sort of admired from a distance. Then as the years went on I would find her name attached to my favorite photographs of Drew Barrymore, Heather Graham...and of course Keanu Reeves. She was an artist! In 2005 I bought her book "Rare Birds" and lost myself in the images. My first glimpse of her in person was when I was living in LA and a friend took me to a Strokes concert. I'm not going to lie and pretend I wasn't a big fan of theirs but holy shit was I late to the game on that band. 3rd album tour and I had no idea she was dating Nick. But there on the side of the stage stood this tiny beautiful blonde with her camera. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Not because I thought she was beautiful but because she was in a short dress and tights and she would lay down on the ground to get the perfect shot. I was transfixed watching her work. Our children are born a few months apart and I remember seeing her with her kiddos once at Whole Foods (ironically) and I really really wanted to run up to her and hug her and just say thank you. But I didn't want to bother her. Plus as a new mom I was so self conscious of how I looked. In hindsight ten years later I can see how I missed a moment there. I wish I would have known that we were both suffering and probably could have used that hug and conversation. Fuck. I want to point out specifically how important the chapters on motherhood and postpartum depression are. I didn't even realize until about a year ago that I spent two years after I stopped nursing my son with some of the most crippling depression of my life. The shame of those years being a blur to me are sharp and painful. I loved my son, we were bonded but I was miserable all of the time. I was numb. I didn't recognize it. I didn't have a support system around me. It's made me think a lot on how much we need to talk about that, how much I need to reflect on that and reach out to others.
I loved The Conversation when it started on her website, I was thrilled when it got a short run on cable tv. I'm thrilled this book has finally come to fruition. I read it in one sitting not because it was easy to read but because I couldn't put it down. Because I found myself in the pages. I read aloud parts of one chapter to my son and he said "That sounds JUST like you." And that's the thing about Ms Amanda, she IS just like me. And she's probably just like YOU too. Amanda, you are a true inspiration. One day I hope to be able to ask you a question that makes you say "That's a very smart question". Thank you for this book.
I loved The Conversation when it started on her website, I was thrilled when it got a short run on cable tv. I'm thrilled this book has finally come to fruition. I read it in one sitting not because it was easy to read but because I couldn't put it down. Because I found myself in the pages. I read aloud parts of one chapter to my son and he said "That sounds JUST like you." And that's the thing about Ms Amanda, she IS just like me. And she's probably just like YOU too. Amanda, you are a true inspiration. One day I hope to be able to ask you a question that makes you say "That's a very smart question". Thank you for this book.
missmultitasking's review against another edition
2.0
Welcome to the White Rich Privileged Club! Aunque siempre es interesante leer las crónicas de una mujer resuelta, el nivel de privilegio que se respira de cada una de sus anécdotas acaba haciéndote chirriar los dientes de forma sonora.
Su mejor amiga es Gwyneth Paltrow. Supongo que no debería extrañarme todo esto.
Que conste que cuenta cosas interesantes. Tiene gracia, mucha cara y las cosas claras, así que puedes leer sobre depresión post-parto, relaciones tóxicas y aceptación del propio cuerpo de manera amena. Puede ser un libro divertido e instructivo si no llevara ya bastante auto-instrucción de casa y nada de lo que cuenta me impresionara demasiado.
Spoiler
Amanda de Cadenet tuvo que abandonar su acaudalado sueldo en Londres y mudarse a L.A. donde, no sólo encontró trabajo de fotógrafa para grandes marcas (¿¿Cómo??) sino que se casó con un guitarrista de una banda famosa. Pobre Amanda, los abusos de la droga que tuvo que sufrir mientras encontraba un trabajo tras otro para pagársela. Ha pasado por momentos chungos, suerte que sus amigas se podían quedar en su GUESTHOUSE todo el tiempo que fuera para ayudarla. Si las cosas se ponen muy muy MUY jodidas, se va al tráiler de los 50 que se compró y remodeló y tiene aparcado enfrente de su casa para solazarse. Y pobre del funcionario que se atreva a multarla por ello.Su mejor amiga es Gwyneth Paltrow. Supongo que no debería extrañarme todo esto.
Que conste que cuenta cosas interesantes. Tiene gracia, mucha cara y las cosas claras, así que puedes leer sobre depresión post-parto, relaciones tóxicas y aceptación del propio cuerpo de manera amena. Puede ser un libro divertido e instructivo si no llevara ya bastante auto-instrucción de casa y nada de lo que cuenta me impresionara demasiado.
achouz's review
5.0
Wow, this is such an enjoyable and incredibly quick read! I realized I yearned for every spare moment I got to read the book til the last page. This book really sets a higher standard bar for any feel-good book that I'm gonna read from now on. I love how real and honest and wild the author consistently keeps throughout every chapter. She's not afraid to tell the messiest parts of her life, which are ironically so relatable and works as a charm for not the book but herself too. She's a charming and greatly inspirational woman. She's successfully made me feel so much more at ease that I, my girl friends, any women I know around me, are not alone in the battle of finding their own identities and any issue we counter in life are nothing scarily strange or weird or too much to handle. Thank you Amanda! You got my solid 5*/5*
lisciareads's review against another edition
4.0
Reading It's Messyfelt like listening to a podcast about what it feels like to be a woman. The writing is accessible, the stories are relatable, this is not a novel It's Messy is more like a collection of essays or short stories about Amanda de Cadenet's life seen through a feminist prism.
Did I agree with everything? No. Was it groundbreaking? No. But I did read the book in one go and I can say I wish I had read those stories when I was younger, struggling with body image and navigating female friendship.
I would love to meet to Amanda de Cadenet to debate feminism, friendship and love while drinking wine. I am finishing the book with a big smile on my face :)
Did I agree with everything? No. Was it groundbreaking? No. But I did read the book in one go and I can say I wish I had read those stories when I was younger, struggling with body image and navigating female friendship.
I would love to meet to Amanda de Cadenet to debate feminism, friendship and love while drinking wine. I am finishing the book with a big smile on my face :)
hellop3's review
3.0
watch her show "the conversation with amanda de cadene"t: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acqFelXxAws
abookishaffair's review
4.0
"It's Messy" is a series of essays by Amanda de Cadenet who is now probably most well known for her show "The Conversation" even though she has been on television since she was in her teens! I have seen a few episodes of "The Conversation" and one thing I have been impressed with is how de Cadenet is able to get very powerful women from politics and Hollywood and a myriad of other places to let down their armor and get real. She is a great interviewer that gets right at the meat of what's going on and that's what she does in this book: she gets real. It's refreshing in a world where so many people feel like they have to put up walls around themselves.
This book covers a whole variety of issues from finding yourself, having kids, being married, and being divorced. De Cadenet was born into a very wealthy family but this didn't protect her for having some pretty wild early years and she goes into all of these stories in the book. She was married to a famous musician before she was 20 years old and had a child very early on. Later on, she was divorced and then remarried to another musician before she had twins. Side note: Yup! she's a fellow twin mom so she has me there. Admittedly, her thoughts on how you get fraternal twins doesn't jive with science but she's a fellow twin mom all the same). She's been through a lot and has a lot of wisdom and interesting insights to pass on.
You start feeling like de Cadenet could be someone you know well, maybe a friend letting you in on some secrets. It's easy to see how de Cadenet is able to get the interviews that she gets on how once she's able to land an interview how she gets people to open up to her. I thought this was a good and insightful collection and I'm looking forward to sharing it with some women in my life.
This book covers a whole variety of issues from finding yourself, having kids, being married, and being divorced. De Cadenet was born into a very wealthy family but this didn't protect her for having some pretty wild early years and she goes into all of these stories in the book. She was married to a famous musician before she was 20 years old and had a child very early on. Later on, she was divorced and then remarried to another musician before she had twins. Side note: Yup! she's a fellow twin mom so she has me there. Admittedly, her thoughts on how you get fraternal twins doesn't jive with science but she's a fellow twin mom all the same). She's been through a lot and has a lot of wisdom and interesting insights to pass on.
You start feeling like de Cadenet could be someone you know well, maybe a friend letting you in on some secrets. It's easy to see how de Cadenet is able to get the interviews that she gets on how once she's able to land an interview how she gets people to open up to her. I thought this was a good and insightful collection and I'm looking forward to sharing it with some women in my life.
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