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theinstabookworm's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
First and foremost, if you have been impacted by suicide, approach this book with caution, or maybe skip it.
I've had this book on my shelf for a year and a half. I got in in my Book of the Month box the same month Stephen 'tWitch' Boss died by suicide, but it was too soon to read it then. I've tried to pick it up a few times over the past 18 months, but it's never been the right time. Until now, I guess.
Although I've never lost someone to suicide, I have lost a loved one young (20s) suddenly and unexpectedly. The way Eve's family and friends wanted to be sympathetic, but didn't truly understand her grief, was accurate to when someone dies young. I've also seen how relatives can act like Quentin's mother did and place blame and then how messy things can get when trying to go through the legal process. Grief makes people act in unpredictable ways.
This story was confronting and detailed. The way Quentin took his own life was never specified, but it is alluded to later in the book and the author doesn't hold back. The way feelings of guilt and shame were described added another layer to this story because I think loved ones do blame themselves for missing the signs that their person was struggling. For the most part, I loved Eve's family and friends because even though they didn't understand what she was going through, they still showed up for her in their imperfect, yet consistent, ways.
I regretted that I didn't annotate this from the beginning and have gone back and annotated the lines and quotes that spoke to me. The writing throughout this whole book was beautiful. I'm glad I finally picked this up and stuck with it.
I've had this book on my shelf for a year and a half. I got in in my Book of the Month box the same month Stephen 'tWitch' Boss died by suicide, but it was too soon to read it then. I've tried to pick it up a few times over the past 18 months, but it's never been the right time. Until now, I guess.
Although I've never lost someone to suicide, I have lost a loved one young (20s) suddenly and unexpectedly. The way Eve's family and friends wanted to be sympathetic, but didn't truly understand her grief, was accurate to when someone dies young. I've also seen how relatives can act like Quentin's mother did and place blame and then how messy things can get when trying to go through the legal process. Grief makes people act in unpredictable ways.
This story was confronting and detailed. The way Quentin took his own life was never specified, but it is alluded to later in the book and the author doesn't hold back. The way feelings of guilt and shame were described added another layer to this story because I think loved ones do blame themselves for missing the signs that their person was struggling. For the most part, I loved Eve's family and friends because even though they didn't understand what she was going through, they still showed up for her in their imperfect, yet consistent, ways.
I regretted that I didn't annotate this from the beginning and have gone back and annotated the lines and quotes that spoke to me. The writing throughout this whole book was beautiful. I'm glad I finally picked this up and stuck with it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide
Moderate: Child death, Racism, Blood, Vomit, Grief, and Death of parent
Minor: Cancer and Car accident
not_quimby's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Drug use, Suicide, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Pregnancy, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
lisettemarie's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Death, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Racism, Suicide, Blood, Vomit, Grief, and Pregnancy
jo_d's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This book tore out my heart in the best way possible. Nwabineli does a wonderful job showing grief in all its ugly, selfish ways. How it breaks everything and how people handle it differently. The unreliable narrator in that the narrator herself is grieving, but seeing the shift and growth in that is eye opening, heart wrenching, and so painfully, beautifully human.
A book I would recommend to anyone
A book I would recommend to anyone
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Death, Suicide, Blood, Vomit, and Alcohol
Minor: Child death, Racism, Abortion, and Classism
badmom's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Simply put - this is a deeply beautiful account of the vast range of emotional reactions to suicide, and the disparate forms love & support & grief might take. Our narrator is understandably distraught over her husband’s death; his mother’s response, extreme in its ugly vindictiveness, is also shown to be understandable, in a way. Everyone in Q’s orbit is shaken by his death but shows their sorrow in different ways, leaving his widow feeling even more unmoored as she tries (or doesn’t) to find a path forward.
We are treated to the sweet and sometimes bittersweet history of this couple and with that we see the unfolding of characters that reveals layers of relationships. Nwabineli’s writing is subtly astute in the ways it shows growth in even the slightest of characters - she makes us notice everyone and compels us consider their stories within our own stories while allowing connections we might otherwise resist.
We are treated to the sweet and sometimes bittersweet history of this couple and with that we see the unfolding of characters that reveals layers of relationships. Nwabineli’s writing is subtly astute in the ways it shows growth in even the slightest of characters - she makes us notice everyone and compels us consider their stories within our own stories while allowing connections we might otherwise resist.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide, Blood, Grief, Medical trauma, and Classism
Moderate: Drug use, Vomit, Abandonment, and Alcohol
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Gaslighting
thecriticalreader's review against another edition
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Review:
Someday, Maybe by Onyi Nwabineli is a novel about grief. Full stop. After the unexpected death of her husband by suicide, Eve must grieve without closure and deal with a mother-in-law from hell who blames her for her son’s death. Nwabineli unflinchingly confronts the ugly, terrifying, messiness of grief head-on. Eve does not respond to her loss with dignity or strength—she careens into a bottomless pit of despair and does not begin to crawl out of it for months. She self-destructs and pulls everyone around her, including the reader, into the vortex of her pain. The result is a book that is excruciating to read; Eve’s pain is raw and unrelenting, and it’s hard not to become frustrated with her as she utterly fails to take responsibility for herself and behaves selfishly toward her friends and family. For some readers, Eve’s privilege might make her an unlikable or unrelatable character. After all, she shows little gratitude for her Herculean familial support system and the financial security that allows her to quit her job. However, in giving Eve access to anything that a grieving person could possibly need, Nwabineli underscores the way that grief is an inherently destructive force, even in cases of extraordinary privilege.
Someday, Maybe is a well-written debut that deftly traverses moments of heart, humor, and heartbreak. The book is illuminated by its rich cast of characters that make up Eve’s British Nigerian family and her friends, all of whom display strength and compassion in their own ways. One only wishes that the vibrancy with which Nwabineli constructs these side characters and their relationships carried over to Eve and her dead husband, Quentin. Despite the fact that the book is ostensibly dedicated to these two characters and their marriage, something about these two never quite feels authentic—almost like a rom-com relationship peppered with hinted moments of darkness rather than a realistic romantic relationship. The novel does an incredible job painting a portrait of grief and a British Nigerian family, but its inability to paint a strong enough portrait of its main character and her husband prevent it from reaching the level of a masterpiece.
The Run-Down:
****PLEASE READ TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS BOOK!***
You might like Someday, Maybe if. . .
· You want to read a gutting portrayal of grief
· You like books that feature loving and successful African families
· You want a raw, unrelenting, and unflinching depiction of grief as a destructive force
You might not like Someday, Maybe if . . .
· You are not in the best mental state or if you become triggered by topics of suicide and grief
· You don’t like main characters who behave selfishly and act ungrateful in the face of immense privilege
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Suicide, Grief, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
Moderate: Vomit and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Bullying, Racism, and Abortion
catwhisperer's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, and Alcohol
tlaynejones's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
The best book I’ve listened to this year. Warm, messy as hell, funny, so searingly sad, honest. This is a story about grief and love. I don’t know if I would have started it if I’d realised just how foundational grief is to the story, but I’m very glad I did. Nwabineli has written about a Nigerian British woman in her early 30s, who had, she thought, been happily married for the last 10years. But then she discovered her husband had died by suicide. The story takes place during the first months after this devastating event. I found the story to include enough balance to make the book compelling and enjoyable. Ugh enjoyable feels crass, considering the topic. I enjoyed getting to know Eve and her family, I found the process of grief, as it’s described in the book, challenged me and made me think, and I enjoyed discovering a new author to look out for. Obviously the grief and loss are a lot, and the specific mind fuck for loved ones coming to terms with a suicide is a lot. With that caution in mind, this is highly recommended.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Grief, Pregnancy, and Classism
Moderate: Racism, Vomit, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
yinkao's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
Moderate: Suicide
Minor: Self harm, Blood, and Vomit
nbreezy17's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Pregnancy