janedoelish's review against another edition
5.0
An amazing and important book! These voices need to be heard.
ephemeralbison's review against another edition
5.0
This book is an anthology of essays by folks in the adult industry--mostly performers, but also web developers, photographers, producers, and directors. Each essay has a different focus but the overall themes are on authenticity when it comes to sex and desire, the challenges and discrimination people in the industry face, and how parents and loved ones react. All told, I found the book fascinating and compelling. A must read for anyone interested in understanding the richness and variety of human experiences behind the pornography business.
monstergirlreading's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
nikchick's review against another edition
5.0
Editor Jiz Lee has put together a fantastic collection here. They have acknowledged that they didn’t manage to hit all the possible demographics and all the potential perspectives, but I can’t believe this is for lack of trying. This collection, while tied together under the theme of “coming out”, covers much more than just whether or how the contributors told their families about their porn careers. For the most part the essays come across as authentic and personal, crossing generations, ethnicity, and gender identities (though trending a bit towards current and younger performers), and including the experiences of photographers, film makers, academics and educators whose lives in porn don’t necessarily include (or include anymore) taking their clothes off and having sex for the camera themselves.
Only a few essays are listed as outright anonymous, though one essayist wrote under the pen name Jaffe Ryder (a Dharma Bums fan, perhaps?). Most authors submitted under their porn names, a few under their given names, and another few under both. The Name is a big topic because whether a chosen porn name is part of the fantasy come-on (Jack Hammer or Denali Winters) or a plausible alternative (Connor Habib or Dale Cooper) most of the essays that touch on privacy touch on the issue of The Name as a thing that serves, however tenuously, as a veil against being stalked or outed. Being stalked, being at the mercy of someone who objects to pornography enough to willfully attempt to threaten performers’ jobs, housing, or child custody is a thread that cuts through a majority of the essays and colors why and how people have made their decisions to “come out” and to whom. And, in a very similar story to what LGBT+ people have long said, there’s never just one instance of “coming out”… it’s something that happens repeatedly as they travel amongst different groups (family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, employers, and on and on) and the more labels that can be applied, the more “coming out” opportunities present themselves.
Coming out like a porn star is a first step toward dismantling some of that age-old shame behavior and I’m all for it. Bottom line: I highly recommend this book.
Only a few essays are listed as outright anonymous, though one essayist wrote under the pen name Jaffe Ryder (a Dharma Bums fan, perhaps?). Most authors submitted under their porn names, a few under their given names, and another few under both. The Name is a big topic because whether a chosen porn name is part of the fantasy come-on (Jack Hammer or Denali Winters) or a plausible alternative (Connor Habib or Dale Cooper) most of the essays that touch on privacy touch on the issue of The Name as a thing that serves, however tenuously, as a veil against being stalked or outed. Being stalked, being at the mercy of someone who objects to pornography enough to willfully attempt to threaten performers’ jobs, housing, or child custody is a thread that cuts through a majority of the essays and colors why and how people have made their decisions to “come out” and to whom. And, in a very similar story to what LGBT+ people have long said, there’s never just one instance of “coming out”… it’s something that happens repeatedly as they travel amongst different groups (family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, employers, and on and on) and the more labels that can be applied, the more “coming out” opportunities present themselves.
Coming out like a porn star is a first step toward dismantling some of that age-old shame behavior and I’m all for it. Bottom line: I highly recommend this book.
kserra's review against another edition
4.0
Great premise, with variability that's inherent in collections of this type. My favorite essays - Connor Habib's, Stoya's, Lorelei Lee's, and Kitty Stryker's.
samwescott's review against another edition
4.0
I also read this book after reading the review on Oh No Sex Toy. If you partake in sex work of any kind (including watching porn), you really owe it to the workers who make the content you enjoy to speak for themselves. I really loved this anthology in particular because it included stories from marginalized groups within the porn community (people of color, non-binary folks etc). The stories had a good range to them and included both light-hearted, humoruous stories of coming out, and also more tragic tales of trauma and estrangement.
Plus, it was just really cool to read some non-fiction by a few performers I really like.
There were a few duds and a few stories that were just really similar. And, like, that's not really a complaint, because this is non-fiction and who am I to complain that someone's intimate family history didn't fit into a nice narrative arc. BUT, I do think the book would have been better served by a better organizational structure. The essays in this book were in alphabetical order by author and I think that more thoughtful placement would have really upped the reading experience.
Plus, it was just really cool to read some non-fiction by a few performers I really like.
There were a few duds and a few stories that were just really similar. And, like, that's not really a complaint, because this is non-fiction and who am I to complain that someone's intimate family history didn't fit into a nice narrative arc. BUT, I do think the book would have been better served by a better organizational structure. The essays in this book were in alphabetical order by author and I think that more thoughtful placement would have really upped the reading experience.
kosr's review against another edition
4.0
Nothing But Respect
I name dropped this collection in another review I wrote for a novel named "Empire of Illusion" by journalist Chris Hedges. He has some pretty hardline remarks regarding the sex industry and it caused quite a few feathers to become ruffled in the comments. I argued that the porn industry has it's problems and there's some serious topics that need discussion about it's affect on this generation, and any following generations to come. I also argued however, that if there was any flip side to a topic being thought upon, then this book was that 'flip'.
Coming Out Like A Pornstar should be read by anyone who wants to understand the NUANCES of the porn industry. It is the nuances of any topic that should be engaged in if anyone takes said topic seriously. By nuances in this example, I am not referring to a porn guru dishing out advise on work technicalities, business tips or even how a porn set is run. I am referring to the PEOPLE who actually work in the industry. Not only that, but individuals who come from a huge variety of backgrounds all over the world. Ultimately, it is their voice being heard in this book - raw, with no filler, no bullshit - and that is why I rate it very highly.
As such, this essay collection is very likely to open your mind to all the different reasons why people enter this industry, as well as discover how many people DO NOT come from disparaging backgrounds full of hate and horror. True, those stories do exist, and there are some present in these pages, but ultimately I was overwhelmingly surprised with the sheer complexity as to why people magnetized towards porn.
This is obviously by no means a bible on the topic, and should really be added as a supplement to other books on the subject. However, it does do a good job of cutting through any removed, alien, doctrinal thesis on porn anyone might propose as a "proper way" of looking at the subject.
On a side note, this isn't a hard book to read. None of the stories are difficult to digest in terms of vocabulary or topic. However, the sheer volume of contributors presented to the reader, and the fact that many of these stories are quite similar in subject, lead to my reading speed and interest slowing considerably over time.
It would be an incredible disservice to the people who laid their stories and lives out in the open in this compilation to merely dismiss this as a low grade, monotonous collection of "coming out" stories (yes it's in the title, but that's the tip of the iceberg). What is presented to the reader-to-be is well written and often humorous set of stories that will allow said reader a real chance to get up close and personal with the true behind the scenes aspect of the industry.
I name dropped this collection in another review I wrote for a novel named "Empire of Illusion" by journalist Chris Hedges. He has some pretty hardline remarks regarding the sex industry and it caused quite a few feathers to become ruffled in the comments. I argued that the porn industry has it's problems and there's some serious topics that need discussion about it's affect on this generation, and any following generations to come. I also argued however, that if there was any flip side to a topic being thought upon, then this book was that 'flip'.
Coming Out Like A Pornstar should be read by anyone who wants to understand the NUANCES of the porn industry. It is the nuances of any topic that should be engaged in if anyone takes said topic seriously. By nuances in this example, I am not referring to a porn guru dishing out advise on work technicalities, business tips or even how a porn set is run. I am referring to the PEOPLE who actually work in the industry. Not only that, but individuals who come from a huge variety of backgrounds all over the world. Ultimately, it is their voice being heard in this book - raw, with no filler, no bullshit - and that is why I rate it very highly.
As such, this essay collection is very likely to open your mind to all the different reasons why people enter this industry, as well as discover how many people DO NOT come from disparaging backgrounds full of hate and horror. True, those stories do exist, and there are some present in these pages, but ultimately I was overwhelmingly surprised with the sheer complexity as to why people magnetized towards porn.
This is obviously by no means a bible on the topic, and should really be added as a supplement to other books on the subject. However, it does do a good job of cutting through any removed, alien, doctrinal thesis on porn anyone might propose as a "proper way" of looking at the subject.
On a side note, this isn't a hard book to read. None of the stories are difficult to digest in terms of vocabulary or topic. However, the sheer volume of contributors presented to the reader, and the fact that many of these stories are quite similar in subject, lead to my reading speed and interest slowing considerably over time.
It would be an incredible disservice to the people who laid their stories and lives out in the open in this compilation to merely dismiss this as a low grade, monotonous collection of "coming out" stories (yes it's in the title, but that's the tip of the iceberg). What is presented to the reader-to-be is well written and often humorous set of stories that will allow said reader a real chance to get up close and personal with the true behind the scenes aspect of the industry.
curgoth's review against another edition
3.0
A collection of essays from adult performers on coming out about their sex work. The experiences run the full range of joyous, tragic, explosive and touchingly mild.
There's a certain amount of bias in who was included - there's a lot of Queer performers. This isn't surprising, since editor Jiz Lee works in that community.
All in all, it's a good read, and the sheer volume and width of experiences says a lot about how we as a culture view sex and sex work. Lee does a great job ordering the essays so the reader doesn't get weighed down by a long barrage of sadness - there's a lot of tonal shift from essay to essay.
One thing that does cast a bit of a shadow on the book, though, is that the closing essay is by someone who's since been outed as an abusive POS, which is unfortunate.
There's a certain amount of bias in who was included - there's a lot of Queer performers. This isn't surprising, since editor Jiz Lee works in that community.
All in all, it's a good read, and the sheer volume and width of experiences says a lot about how we as a culture view sex and sex work. Lee does a great job ordering the essays so the reader doesn't get weighed down by a long barrage of sadness - there's a lot of tonal shift from essay to essay.
One thing that does cast a bit of a shadow on the book, though, is that the closing essay is by someone who's since been outed as an abusive POS, which is unfortunate.
gray_05_sea's review
slow-paced
I have mixed feelings about the book.
On one hand, the point is to normalize porn performers so many of the coming out experiences were normal. That’s a good think - alignment between objective and activity. On the other hand, there was so much normal and with some mediocre writing so as a reader I wanted more editing- the same point could be achieved with 100 fewer pages. It felt like some essays were included because the essayist sent something in- not because it merited inclusion. That said, cutting 100 pages would mean that by proportion some of the unusual stories would be given more proportional “reading time” which could skew the narrative towards the exceptional. I felt like this was a book for the people who wrote the book, for the in- community more than for an out of community member picking it up. There were some great essays included among the mediocre.
On one hand, the point is to normalize porn performers so many of the coming out experiences were normal. That’s a good think - alignment between objective and activity. On the other hand, there was so much normal and with some mediocre writing so as a reader I wanted more editing- the same point could be achieved with 100 fewer pages. It felt like some essays were included because the essayist sent something in- not because it merited inclusion. That said, cutting 100 pages would mean that by proportion some of the unusual stories would be given more proportional “reading time” which could skew the narrative towards the exceptional. I felt like this was a book for the people who wrote the book, for the in- community more than for an out of community member picking it up. There were some great essays included among the mediocre.