Reviews tagging 'Grief'

This is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

7 reviews

the_true_monroe's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25


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1quillb's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

This only thing that prevents me from rating this 5 stars is the (annoyingly) heavy emphasis placed upon keeping Poppy’s identity a secret—I didn’t, and continue to not, understand why not telling everyone that she’s trans is an issue. But seeing as this is written by the mother of a trans kid, I guess I can understand why it focused so much on the effects of “hiding” her identity. I just don’t personally see how it could be a problem.

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clemrain's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This books is gorgeous. From the characters to the writing to the meaning. This books makes you kinder.

I appreciate a trans story from the perspective of family and community. Not just the trans experience alone.

The characters are good and memorable. The love the parents, Rosie and Penn, have for each other and for their children is convincing. Building a story of the two as individuals made us privy to every decision they made as parents. It’s was a great introduction to the story.

I do think the cast of characters was large, but I can’t complain about it too much because the community perspective was written through them. Through the general ideologies, their small glances and their big words. We didn’t need to know more about them then that. 

Who we did need to know more about were the boys. They’re all good brothers to thier Poppy, but that seemed to be the extent of their roles most of the time. We got some insight into Roo and Ben. But the twins were left behind. I could see the story without them in it. Ben had a love story but I guess it was just some growing pains. It was good but it didn’t lead to more. Roo’s story was taking form but just like he does in his family, his story also seemed to take a back row to Poppy’s.
Roo’s apparent anti-LGBT situation had a boring resolve in that there was no problem. I thought maybe we’d get a separate coming out from Roo. I think it was boiling but maybe the point was that Rosie and Penn were too occupied with Poppy to get to the root of Roo’s behaviour. I can see home have his own coming of age in university.


Rosie and Penn are great. Through I find that Rosie keeps most of the attention. We don’t see much into Penn aside from the conversations he has with Rosie (which stay on the topic of their family) and how Rosie perceives him. We get a glimpse at his worries and his need to keep in a fantasy. He’s trying to be a good dad. But Rosie was overall just a much more complex character than he was. 

For the length of the novel, I think much of the story could’ve cut out unnecessary and repetitive jargon to give space to the rest of the family. I understand that maybe the plot wasn’t meant to accommodate all these side characters personal stories, but why have these characters there if we can’t see more to them than what they feel about the Poppy problem in the different stages of their lives.

The writing is beautiful. Not too complicated and told like a fairytale. And just like a fairytale I found that many situations in it resolved themselves so easily. There were many micro aggressions, and deep reality of violence, but everything just worked so easily. As much as I’d criticize this in any other book—and this one is slimly passing through—I think the point is that the solution really is just simple. It’s just understanding and kindness. And these stories deserve happy endings. The difficulties did their part in educating the existence of a problem and their resolve did it’s part in teaching the solution. 

My favourite part of the book was the parents trying and failing to find a solution for something they just can’t understand. And somehow finding a direction in a least expectant place. The answers and comfort being hidden in Thailand was amazing. I just love the idea of western countries not having all the answers and that they aren’t the only accepting and tolerating place. That the east has lessons too. The way this experience will shape Poppy as she grows is wonderful. And finally, finally Rosie had a conversation with someone who is like Poppy. Experienced what Poppy did. The answer sometimes isn’t in the parents knowledge or with experts. Sometimes you can only find directions from those who’ve taken the road.

Just a quick round of other things I enjoyed:
- the phrases that gave us glimpses into the future of the character (Ex. Poppy being a Buddhist)
- the in and out of pronouns and Poppy and Claude. People realistically tripping over it and being well intentioned
-that’s even with the best of love and care, sometimes parents just can’t have the write answers. It will hurt. You can’t stop that. What you just need to do is learn from it

The books made my heart beat through its tensions. And it made it soar in the happiness of the characters. Everyone should read this book. 

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franklola's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25


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leanderson's review against another edition

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challenging medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes

4.0


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sometimes_samantha_reads's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I'm not trans or nonbinary, but I'm pan. I really identified with the constriction of the binary when reading this and considering the protagonist. I appreciated the realness the book provided with so many what ifs and anxiety as well as the happy moments. Also, the book was funny! It balanced the sobering and plain sad/angry moments with some very funny ones! 

One thing I struggled with was the name of the protagonist. It bothered me that once the dead name was shirked by the protagonist, other characters would consistently dead name them. To be fair, it was shown in a very real way, mainly used by parents of the protagonist who were learning, but still. Same with the use of particular pronouns. There was a lot of floundering with them which seemed annoying to me because the protagonist claims their name and pronouns at a very particular point in the story and the name and pronouns are not used consistently even after they expressly asked for them. 

Eventually it all worked our as the protagonist identified with both male and female pronouns, but I was annoyed that when they asked for she/her pronouns, it was often met with "he, well now, she". 

Otherwise I truly did enjoy the book!

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thevietvegan's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0


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