Reviews with content warning for Murder - This is How It Always Is

Reviews tagging 'Murder'

This is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

10 reviews

tomesandtea's review against another edition

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4.5

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chelle22's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful informative inspiring

5.0

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apriltrepagnier's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

Pros
Beautiful prose
Strong characters
Conversation provoking insight

Cons
None - the characters may seem idealized, but it works wonderfully for this novel

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clemrain's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This books is gorgeous. From the characters to the writing to the meaning. This books makes you kinder.

I appreciate a trans story from the perspective of family and community. Not just the trans experience alone.

The characters are good and memorable. The love the parents, Rosie and Penn, have for each other and for their children is convincing. Building a story of the two as individuals made us privy to every decision they made as parents. It’s was a great introduction to the story.

I do think the cast of characters was large, but I can’t complain about it too much because the community perspective was written through them. Through the general ideologies, their small glances and their big words. We didn’t need to know more about them then that.

Who we did need to know more about were the boys. They’re all good brothers to thier Poppy, but that seemed to be the extent of their roles most of the time. We got some insight into Roo and Ben. But the twins were left behind. I could see the story without them in it. Ben had a love story but I guess it was just some growing pains. It was good but it didn’t lead to more. Roo’s story was taking form but just like he does in his family, his story also seemed to take a back row to Poppy’s.

Roo’s apparent anti-LGBT situation had a boring resolve in that there was no problem. I thought maybe we’d get a separate coming out from Roo. I think it was boiling but maybe the point was that Rosie and Penn were too occupied with Poppy to get to the root of Roo’s behaviour. I can see home have his own coming of age in university.

Rosie and Penn are great. Through I find that Rosie keeps most of the attention. We don’t see much into Penn aside from the conversations he has with Rosie (which stay on the topic of their family) and how Rosie perceives him. We get a glimpse at his worries and his need to keep in a fantasy. He’s trying to be a good dad. But Rosie was overall just a much more complex character than he was.

For the length of the novel, I think much of the story could’ve cut out unnecessary and repetitive jargon to give space to the rest of the family. I understand that maybe the plot wasn’t meant to accommodate all these side characters personal stories, but why have these characters there if we can’t see more to them than what they feel about the Poppy problem in the different stages of their lives.

The writing is beautiful. Not too complicated and told like a fairytale. And just like a fairytale I found that many situations in it resolved themselves so easily. There were many micro aggressions, and deep reality of violence, but everything just worked so easily. As much as I’d criticize this in any other book—and this one is slimly passing through—I think the point is that the solution really is just simple. It’s just understanding and kindness. And these stories deserve happy endings. The difficulties did their part in educating the existence of a problem and their resolve did it’s part in teaching the solution.

My favourite part of the book was the parents trying and failing to find a solution for something they just can’t understand. And somehow finding a direction in a least expectant place. The answers and comfort being hidden in Thailand was amazing. I just love the idea of western countries not having all the answers and that they aren’t the only accepting and tolerating place. That the east has lessons too. The way this experience will shape Poppy as she grows is wonderful. And finally, finally Rosie had a conversation with someone who is like Poppy. Experienced what Poppy did. The answer sometimes isn’t in the parents knowledge or with experts. Sometimes you can only find directions from those who’ve taken the road.

Just a quick round of other things I enjoyed:
- the phrases that gave us glimpses into the future of the character (Ex. Poppy being a Buddhist)
- the in and out of pronouns and Poppy and Claude. People realistically tripping over it and being well intentioned
-that’s even with the best of love and care, sometimes parents just can’t have the write answers. It will hurt. You can’t stop that. What you just need to do is learn from it

The books made my heart beat through its tensions. And it made it soar in the happiness of the characters. Everyone should read this book.

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stremps's review against another edition

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funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

I read on a whim and it was longer than I expected (~11 hours) but ended up being worth it. The writing is clever and has rhythm but was too “pop lit” for me at times. I enjoyed the story of the family and the turns it took.

The narrative moves between the characters and, at times, I felt uncomfortable with not centering the trans character’s voice, but ultimately it was interesting to hear the other perspectives and I feel the trans character had their story told. I have read that the within has a trans daughter which makes me feel better about the novel and the narrative position being primarily parental.

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skudiklier's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

I mostly liked this and thought it was well-done. There were some things I didn't like (like

changing Poppy's pronouns and name back at the drop of a hat without her even explicitly saying that

) but I like that at least it ended on a more nuanced note. A bunch of the reviews for this book were disappointing though, and I wish it were made more clear by the book that supporting your kid in being trans from a young age isn't the wrong move. Anyway. Overall I liked it, it was nice, it was well-written. Just not perfect.

Oh also, if you're trans, a very specific part of this is really hard to read. Look at the spoiler in my content warnings for more detail.

Content Warnings