caedocyon's review against another edition
4.0
This was good. Sometimes pretty hard to read, especially the last few chapters. Lots of stuff about being an imperfect caretaker (first from father to daughter, then from daughter to father). That's hard to read both directions. But also, a real strong sense of places and times.
cook_memorial_public_library's review against another edition
5.0
Unflinchingly honest yet tender, Alysia Abbott describes growing up in 1970s/80s San Francisco, just after Stonewall and before and during the worst of the AIDS epidemic from which her gay father eventually dies. She reveals so much moving truth, not only of the circumstances of their lives, but also of the beautiful commitment of their father/daughter relationship. Sophia Coppola will be making a film version of the story!
--Reviewed by Susie
Check our catalog: http://encore.cooklib.org/iii/encore/record/C__Rb1465194__Sfairyland%20abbott__Orightresult__U__X2?lang=eng&suite=pearl
--Reviewed by Susie
Check our catalog: http://encore.cooklib.org/iii/encore/record/C__Rb1465194__Sfairyland%20abbott__Orightresult__U__X2?lang=eng&suite=pearl
lola425's review against another edition
4.0
A lovely portrait of a unique father/daughter relationship. Abbott polishes up parts of the memoir, no doubt, but she also leaves enough of the grit so that you see how complicated the relationship really was. I found myself feeling angry at both father and daughter alternately throughout. One the one hand, Abbott's father was selfish (leaving her alone at a young age, treating her as if she were an adult, indiscriminate drug-use), he still sacrificed in order to be her father. He could easily have sent Alysia off to her grandparents, where she would have ad a rather ordinary, suburban existence. So was it selfish to keep her and love her or was it selfless, because while he didn't change much of his life to accommodate her, he did not live the completely free life he would have with out her? To have made the decision to raise her, in a time when there were no templates, no role models for a single gay father, speaks to his love for her. The personal is political we feminists like to say. What could be more political? More personal? What is better: ordinary or different? Abbott also doesn't spare herself in the memoir. She is honest about her own selfishness and anger, her desire to walk away when her ailing father starts to make demands on her. What child wouldn't be resentful: you left me to raise myself and now you want me to put my life on hold to help you die? Hard choices to make for both Abbotts, which regrets would you prefer to have?
taliaissmart's review against another edition
4.0
When her mother died in a car accident, Alysia and her openly gay father settled into a non-conforming life in San Francisco, where Steve could be a part of a queer community of poets and Alysia could be surrounded by many different kinds of people, for better or worse. Alysia tells the story of her childhood and relationship with her father with sometimes painful honesty, never glossing over the difficult moments, but imbuing the entire recollection with so much love.
chloebaboey's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
4.0
sbogdanich's review against another edition
4.0
This was a very interesting memoir of a girl growing up with her single father in the 80s in San Francisco. The story starts with her mom dying when she is just two years old and ends with her father succumbing to AIDS.
silodear's review against another edition
3.0
A somewhat interesting account of the AIDS epidemic as told by the cis straight daughter of a single gay dad (and semi-famous poet) in 1980s San Francisco. I found the parts of this book about Alysia's life to be boring and worth skimming; but her reflections on her relationship with her father and his relationship with his illness (as told through his letters to his daughter) were quite beautiful.
honuzbubbles's review against another edition
2.0
This book wants to be a remembrance of San Francisco before the AIDS epidemic. It falls short of the mark, in part because its main focus is individuals: Mr. Abbott and his daughter Alysia. Forced into single parenthood after a car kills his wife this man attempts taking care of his daughter like a cat, he might have been a better father had he let another person raise his daughter (but then she would not be the person she is today). Their relationship is at its best when Alysia becomes an adult and they share correspondence primarily through letters. Throughout all his neglect and abuse she still loves him. More than that, she hero worships him and excuses his behavior. The book is like a documentary film shot in soft focus, causing pieces of the story to be washed out. There is a distance felt between the writer and the events on the pages despite the fact she is recalling her own life. Sometimes this makes the text a difficult read. The author herself best sums up this dilemma:
“Even now, almost thirty years after the fact, it’s painful for me to see my dad…And there’s part of me that wants to hide these details, to keep them squirreled away inside the pages of the private journals where they belong, To protect Dad from Dad. But would I feel this way is he weren’t my father? If he weren’t my father, I’d just focus on the story. …But he’s not just anyone. He’s my dad. And even if he’s not walking around out there, I’m still afraid of how his actions and choices will reflect on him.”
“Even now, almost thirty years after the fact, it’s painful for me to see my dad…And there’s part of me that wants to hide these details, to keep them squirreled away inside the pages of the private journals where they belong, To protect Dad from Dad. But would I feel this way is he weren’t my father? If he weren’t my father, I’d just focus on the story. …But he’s not just anyone. He’s my dad. And even if he’s not walking around out there, I’m still afraid of how his actions and choices will reflect on him.”
itsgg's review against another edition
2.0
As a longtime San Franciscan, I was primarily interested in reading this book as a chronicle of the life of a gay single dad living in the upper Haight in the 70s and 80s. Unfortunately, the book is more focused on the author's experience as a child and young woman, including when she lives for long periods outside of SF, and its intent seems largely to be about addressing unresolved guilt about her relationship with her father. So maybe other people would enjoy it more, but I didn't find it very interesting. Without enough of the "gay single dad in SF" angle, I just don't think it stands on its own as a notable memoir, either for the content or the writing.