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maeverose's review against another edition
4.0
TL;DR: A fun escape, with a simple but important message, even if that message comes with an assumed level of privilege.
I expected it to be a little more focused on Clover’s job, we only actually see three of her clients, most of the book is focused on her own life. But I didn’t mind. I do think the overall message - live life to it’s fullest - was pretty simple and repeated a lot, but it is an important reminder. I didn’t know death doulas were a real thing until I looked it up after discovering this book, and it was really interesting to learn about it. I think thats a really beautiful service to exist, and I might try to learn more about it now. Hugo 2.0 was a little too comically perfect, though I still liked him.
I related a little too much to Clover. On one hand, it’s nice to read stories like this where people in similar situations to me finally meet people and get to live their life, because (much like Clover) I can live vicariously through them, on the other hand, it often simplifies things in an unrealistic (privileged) way. I wish it were that easy to just force yourself to socialize and then bam you have friends but when you’re multiply disabled (especially in ways that directly affect socializing) it’s much harder. This isn’t a complaint about the book, just some thoughts that I have after reading it. I feel like, as depressing as it is, it’s important to include the fact that not everyone is able to ‘live their life to it’s fullest’, for reasons that are out of their control. It’s a privilege to be able to do that. A lot of the time you need money (for therapy if you have social anxiety, for food/drinks/events where you’d be going to socialize, to travel and try new things), free time, a job to make said money, a mode of transportation, etc. Most stories like this ignore that. As an escape it was a good book, as a piece of advice it’s unfortunately not something I can easily apply to my life, which leaves me feeling a bit :/
I related a little too much to Clover. On one hand, it’s nice to read stories like this where people in similar situations to me finally meet people and get to live their life, because (much like Clover) I can live vicariously through them, on the other hand, it often simplifies things in an unrealistic (privileged) way. I wish it were that easy to just force yourself to socialize and then bam you have friends but when you’re multiply disabled (especially in ways that directly affect socializing) it’s much harder. This isn’t a complaint about the book, just some thoughts that I have after reading it. I feel like, as depressing as it is, it’s important to include the fact that not everyone is able to ‘live their life to it’s fullest’, for reasons that are out of their control. It’s a privilege to be able to do that. A lot of the time you need money (for therapy if you have social anxiety, for food/drinks/events where you’d be going to socialize, to travel and try new things), free time, a job to make said money, a mode of transportation, etc. Most stories like this ignore that. As an escape it was a good book, as a piece of advice it’s unfortunately not something I can easily apply to my life, which leaves me feeling a bit :/
Also I found it incredibly uncomfortable that Clover spied on her neighbor’s in their homes with binoculars… Like Sylvie didn’t even seem creeped out by that. It was so weird.
Quotes:
“I liked to feel the icy breeze nibbling at my cheeks as I walked, to watch the cloud materialize then vanish with each of my breaths — confirmations that I was still here, still living.”
“It frustrated me that society was so determined to quantify grief, as if time could erase the potency of love. Or, on the other hand, how it dictated that grief for someone you knew fleetingly should be equally as fleeting.”
“An incongruous tug of war between the need for solitude and the craving for emotional connection— I didn’t want company, but I didn’t want to feel alone.”
“- the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”
Quotes:
“I liked to feel the icy breeze nibbling at my cheeks as I walked, to watch the cloud materialize then vanish with each of my breaths — confirmations that I was still here, still living.”
“It frustrated me that society was so determined to quantify grief, as if time could erase the potency of love. Or, on the other hand, how it dictated that grief for someone you knew fleetingly should be equally as fleeting.”
“An incongruous tug of war between the need for solitude and the craving for emotional connection— I didn’t want company, but I didn’t want to feel alone.”
“- the secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life. Putting your heart out there. Letting it get broken. Taking chances. Making mistakes.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Death of parent, Grief, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Bullying, Medical content, Excrement, and Stalking
Minor: Alcoholism, Child death, Fatphobia, Miscarriage, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship
Alzheimers mentionvj_thompson's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
A thought provoking book that asks two questions. “Are you currently doing what makes you happy,” and, “What is it that you most regret?”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Abandonment, Bullying, Death, and Grief
Moderate: Cancer, Infidelity, Medical content, and Terminal illness
Minor: Alcoholism and Sexism
atamano's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Terminal illness, Death, and Cancer
Moderate: Sexism and Medical content
Minor: Alcohol
fink1129's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.0
Most of the book was a solid 3/5 stars. I had never heard of a death doula. It was such a calming/refreshing view on death. It really looked into how we all deal with grief in different ways, how life can come full circle. How as you experience obstacles in life you not only realize you needed some of those to really appreciate and understand the good things in life. It’s a beautiful story with a fantastic message and really in the end is about found family.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death, Terminal illness, Medical content, and Death of parent
thirdtimesacharm's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Medical content
Minor: Car accident
captainnat's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Medical content, Death of parent, Cancer, and Terminal illness
Minor: Alcoholism
zombiezami's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
relaxing
sad
slow-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Medical content, Death of parent, Terminal illness, and Grief
Moderate: Cancer, Alcoholism, Sexism, Misogyny, Abandonment, Addiction, Alcohol, and Infidelity
Minor: Bullying, Miscarriage, and Sexual content
deelightfulreads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Chronic illness, Death of parent, Medical trauma, Grief, Death, and Terminal illness
stepnic's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, and Grief
Moderate: Alcohol and Alcoholism
Minor: Panic attacks/disorders, Abandonment, Terminal illness, Cancer, Addiction, Chronic illness, and Medical content
kelly_e's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Title: The Collected Regrets of Clover
Author: Mikki Brammer
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: May 9, 2023
I received complimentary eARC and ALC copies of this book from St. Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Gifted #Ad
T H R E E • W O R D S
Distinctive • Endearing • Thoughtful
📖 S Y N O P S I S
From the day she watched her kindergarten teacher drop dead during a dramatic telling of Peter Rabbit, Clover Brooks has felt a stronger connection with the dying than she has with the living. After the beloved grandfather who raised her dies alone while she is traveling, Clover becomes a death doula in New York City, dedicating her life to ushering people peacefully through their end-of-life process.
Clover spends so much time with the dying that she has no life of her own, until the final wishes of a feisty old woman send Clover on a trip across the country to uncover a forgotten love story—and perhaps, her own happy ending. As she finds herself struggling to navigate the uncharted roads of romance and friendship, Clover is forced to examine what she really wants, and whether she’ll have the courage to go after it.
💭 T H O U G H T S
After reading the synopsis and learning Clover was a death doula, I knew The Collected Regrets of Clover was going to be a book for me. Books with open and compassionate dialogue around death and dying are a niche genre I gravitate towards because of my own personal experience with grief.
The Collected Regrets of Clover, Mikki Brammer's debut novel, is such a slow-paced, unique and enlightening novel. Clover is an incredibly relatable and introverted main character, as the story progresses her personal connection to and obsession with death is slowly revealed, which I thought was fascinating. It allowed me to reflect on what it would be like to have the immense privilege of being privy to people's last words.
One of my absolute favourite parts of the book was how Clover's Grandpa used the analogy of matches to explain life and death. Some matches fail to light, some burn out too soon, and some burn all the way down. It touches on how so many factors beyond our control can impact how a match burns. This analogy seemed so spot on and absolutely beautiful.
Despite loving so much about this novel, the reason it doesn't quite meet my 5-star criteria is because my attention did wane slightly around the 60% mark. There was so much building and unraveling on Clover's story that took time, but for me something shifted in the second half that didn't hold my attention like I wanted it to. The audiobook, narrated by Jennifer Pickens was very well done. It helped add a layer of emotion to my reading experience, and also helped me getting through that lull.
At the end of the day, The Collected Regrets of Clover is a book tackling the topic of death. Yet it does so in such a gentle way that it becomes so much more. It's a book about living, a book about time, a book about ageing. It's filled with so much inspiration of reflective moments. It's an uplifting read demonstrating how discomfort is a natural part of life, and a reminder to celebrate life because we just never know when our match will burn out.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• readers looking for a hug in book form
• fans of unlikely friendships
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"Being denied the chance to say goodbye to a loved one left stubborn emotional scars."
"I don't think it's weird at all. Death is a natural part of life. In fact, it's the only thing in life that we can really count on."
"People who were complete strangers to me less than a year ago had forever shifted the trajectory of my life. The fact that all of us were entangled - that everyone on the planet somehow shaped the course of one another's lives, often without realizing it - felt like almost too much for me to comprehend.
But perhaps that's the point. Do we actually need to understand the world and all its patterns?
You can find meaning in anything if you look hard enough, if you want to believe that everything happens for a reason. But if we completely understood one another, if every event made sense, none of us would ever learn or grow. Our days might be pleasant, but prosaic.
So maybe we just need to appreciate that many aspects of life - and the people we love - will always be a mystery. Because without mystery, there is no magic.
And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question of why we're here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here"
Author: Mikki Brammer
Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: May 9, 2023
I received complimentary eARC and ALC copies of this book from St. Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Gifted #Ad
T H R E E • W O R D S
Distinctive • Endearing • Thoughtful
📖 S Y N O P S I S
From the day she watched her kindergarten teacher drop dead during a dramatic telling of Peter Rabbit, Clover Brooks has felt a stronger connection with the dying than she has with the living. After the beloved grandfather who raised her dies alone while she is traveling, Clover becomes a death doula in New York City, dedicating her life to ushering people peacefully through their end-of-life process.
Clover spends so much time with the dying that she has no life of her own, until the final wishes of a feisty old woman send Clover on a trip across the country to uncover a forgotten love story—and perhaps, her own happy ending. As she finds herself struggling to navigate the uncharted roads of romance and friendship, Clover is forced to examine what she really wants, and whether she’ll have the courage to go after it.
💭 T H O U G H T S
After reading the synopsis and learning Clover was a death doula, I knew The Collected Regrets of Clover was going to be a book for me. Books with open and compassionate dialogue around death and dying are a niche genre I gravitate towards because of my own personal experience with grief.
The Collected Regrets of Clover, Mikki Brammer's debut novel, is such a slow-paced, unique and enlightening novel. Clover is an incredibly relatable and introverted main character, as the story progresses her personal connection to and obsession with death is slowly revealed, which I thought was fascinating. It allowed me to reflect on what it would be like to have the immense privilege of being privy to people's last words.
One of my absolute favourite parts of the book was how Clover's Grandpa used the analogy of matches to explain life and death. Some matches fail to light, some burn out too soon, and some burn all the way down. It touches on how so many factors beyond our control can impact how a match burns. This analogy seemed so spot on and absolutely beautiful.
Despite loving so much about this novel, the reason it doesn't quite meet my 5-star criteria is because my attention did wane slightly around the 60% mark. There was so much building and unraveling on Clover's story that took time, but for me something shifted in the second half that didn't hold my attention like I wanted it to. The audiobook, narrated by Jennifer Pickens was very well done. It helped add a layer of emotion to my reading experience, and also helped me getting through that lull.
At the end of the day, The Collected Regrets of Clover is a book tackling the topic of death. Yet it does so in such a gentle way that it becomes so much more. It's a book about living, a book about time, a book about ageing. It's filled with so much inspiration of reflective moments. It's an uplifting read demonstrating how discomfort is a natural part of life, and a reminder to celebrate life because we just never know when our match will burn out.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• readers looking for a hug in book form
• fans of unlikely friendships
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"Being denied the chance to say goodbye to a loved one left stubborn emotional scars."
"I don't think it's weird at all. Death is a natural part of life. In fact, it's the only thing in life that we can really count on."
"People who were complete strangers to me less than a year ago had forever shifted the trajectory of my life. The fact that all of us were entangled - that everyone on the planet somehow shaped the course of one another's lives, often without realizing it - felt like almost too much for me to comprehend.
But perhaps that's the point. Do we actually need to understand the world and all its patterns?
You can find meaning in anything if you look hard enough, if you want to believe that everything happens for a reason. But if we completely understood one another, if every event made sense, none of us would ever learn or grow. Our days might be pleasant, but prosaic.
So maybe we just need to appreciate that many aspects of life - and the people we love - will always be a mystery. Because without mystery, there is no magic.
And instead of constantly asking ourselves the question of why we're here, maybe we should be savoring a simpler truth: We are here"
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, and Grief
Moderate: Terminal illness, Car accident, Abandonment, Cancer, and Medical content
Minor: Infidelity, Alcoholism, and Sexism