micalyia's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
5.0
This book was very impressive. I think it tackled a difficult subject in a really ingenious and innovative way. Carmen used different metaphors to represent her experience of an emotionally abusive relationship. I really enjoyed the metaphors as I thought it made me have to sit with the them longer and really think through what she was saying. I acknowledge that they made the story more impersonal, but I can understand the choice to do this. This topic cannot be easy to write about, I’m sure that distance may have been needed. And even if it wasn’t, it still made for an interesting technique, where she was separating her current self from the one that ’the woman in the dream house’ hurt. I also found the research around lesbians in abusive relationships to be very thought provoking and informative. I thought they were woven into the story well.
While this book worked really well for me, I can understand why the critiques others have lobbied at it. This book is very experimental and I think this can come across as pretentious to some audiences. I think, my one qualm with this book was the references that Carmen would make, were not always accessible. Carmen does a good job of explaining the movie and song references she makes and how they pertain to her story but even so, because I was not previously exposed to a lot of what she wrote about I feel like It took me even longer to read the book, because I would often stop to see what she was talking about.
Overall, a really informative and novel memoir.
While this book worked really well for me, I can understand why the critiques others have lobbied at it. This book is very experimental and I think this can come across as pretentious to some audiences. I think, my one qualm with this book was the references that Carmen would make, were not always accessible. Carmen does a good job of explaining the movie and song references she makes and how they pertain to her story but even so, because I was not previously exposed to a lot of what she wrote about I feel like It took me even longer to read the book, because I would often stop to see what she was talking about.
Overall, a really informative and novel memoir.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse
buttercat42's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Somewhat difficult to get into at first, and then impossible to put down. I love the fragmented format and found it very readable. The writing was deliciously intelligent. An important queer story I didn’t know I needed. One quibble— of course I understand the importance of the more educational passsges at the end, but they felt poorly incorporated with the rest of the book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Blood, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Alcohol and Homophobia
ziggy_queerdust's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gaslighting and Emotional abuse
cassornelas's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, and Sexual violence
amberleigh838's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Bullying, Sexual content, and Suicidal thoughts
waterbear0821's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
3.75
This memoir is about lesbian intimate partner abuse. It’s well-written and even if you have not experienced intimate partner abuse and you can’t relate to the author (not all of us are professional writers and academics), you may relate to the stress and grief and confusion the author describes. I found the dream house to be an effective if slightly annoying device for carrying the story. The history of lesbian intimate partner abuse, and domestic violence generally, was very interesting, sad, and important. It was a compelling refrain that abuse in a queer relationships has unique challenges because it doesn’t easily fit our cultural narrative- both because it’s less relatable and therefore less believable and because it carries the special shame of failing to be a model minority. This was captivating and terrible to read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Homophobia
alimact's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
abmochapman's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
4.0
In the Dream House might be one of those books to which I return again and again. Although Carmen Maria Machado’s writing is at times difficult and frustrating or simply gauche, it is also at times full of beauty and release. And what’s more is how much her words speak to experiences resemble my own despite the world of difference between them.
Abuse in queer relationships is unique and deserving of the time and attention she pays to it in this book, and yet, the pain I experienced in abusive heterosexual relationships seems almost the same. I do not know the specific pain of being betrayed by a same-sex partner, someone who is so similar to me, but I do know what it’s like to doubt my own experiences and even wish there had been physical scars to which I could point as evidence. I understand that sick desire to be hurt enough to be heard.
Abuse in queer relationships is unique and deserving of the time and attention she pays to it in this book, and yet, the pain I experienced in abusive heterosexual relationships seems almost the same. I do not know the specific pain of being betrayed by a same-sex partner, someone who is so similar to me, but I do know what it’s like to doubt my own experiences and even wish there had been physical scars to which I could point as evidence. I understand that sick desire to be hurt enough to be heard.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Lesbophobia, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Mental illness
Moderate: Sexual violence, Alcohol, and Infidelity
alex_mabel's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
Painful but beautiful. Definitely check trigger warnings.
The audio book was so great.
The audio book was so great.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity, Physical abuse, Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Violence
emcanady's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
a beautifully written, lyrical memoir about domestic abuse, queer love, and metaphor. i loved the bits about queer theory, specifically the parts centering around the ephemera of queer lives and memory. i read this in one sitting and would recommend it to anyone who is okay reading about these topics.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Violence, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, and Gaslighting