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challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Do They Hear You When You Cry? was a harrowing and eye opening read. Fauziya Kassindja had a happy childhood as part of a large family in Togo. But the death of her father left her under the authority of her uncle and aunt . While she was still a teen they tried to force her to marry a 45 year old man as his fourth wife, and undergo female genital mutilation, a practise which was relatively common within their tribe but which her father had adamantly opposed. With some help she managed to escape first to Germany and then to the United States, where her troubles were very far from over.
The author drew a rich and detailed picture of her early years in Togo. Her family’s life, their cultural and religious beliefs plus her schooling came vividly to life. The death of her father meant the end of all of this. What her uncle was able to engineer next clearly highlights the risks patriarchal societies pose to women’s rights.
More than half the book focused on her two years spent incarcerated in the US waiting for her refugee claim to be decided. The barbarous and inhumane treatment she endured repeatedly shocked me - being forced to wear preworn, stained underwear, a too big bra with broken fasteners and two right shoes neither of which was the correct size, being denied access to doctors and lawyers not to mention sanitary products, being held in maximum security wings and placed in solitary confinement for no reason … the list goes on. And the court process was no better. Her eventual happy outcome is down to happenstance and good luck, people being willing to go above and beyond, plus milking the publicity machine for all it was worth. Surely a just system shouldn’t be dependent on factors like these?
I found this book to be engrossing and suspenseful, even though I was aware of the eventual outcome. While the sections in which she was incarcerated did drag at times and felt repetitive, this is nothing compared to actually having to live it. The toll it took on her mental and physical health was heartbreaking. And so unnecessary.
Things may have changed since this book was written. But change doesn’t necessarily equate to improvement.
The author drew a rich and detailed picture of her early years in Togo. Her family’s life, their cultural and religious beliefs plus her schooling came vividly to life. The death of her father meant the end of all of this. What her uncle was able to engineer next clearly highlights the risks patriarchal societies pose to women’s rights.
More than half the book focused on her two years spent incarcerated in the US waiting for her refugee claim to be decided. The barbarous and inhumane treatment she endured repeatedly shocked me - being forced to wear preworn, stained underwear, a too big bra with broken fasteners and two right shoes neither of which was the correct size, being denied access to doctors and lawyers not to mention sanitary products, being held in maximum security wings and placed in solitary confinement for no reason … the list goes on. And the court process was no better. Her eventual happy outcome is down to happenstance and good luck, people being willing to go above and beyond, plus milking the publicity machine for all it was worth. Surely a just system shouldn’t be dependent on factors like these?
I found this book to be engrossing and suspenseful, even though I was aware of the eventual outcome. While the sections in which she was incarcerated did drag at times and felt repetitive, this is nothing compared to actually having to live it. The toll it took on her mental and physical health was heartbreaking. And so unnecessary.
Things may have changed since this book was written. But change doesn’t necessarily equate to improvement.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Medical trauma, and Misogyny
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