elehuiliztli's review against another edition
5.0
The chapter that I think I will take the most from is the one regarding non binary genders. It just helped my build more compassion. But every chapter was empowering with stories and knowledge.
kaitrates's review against another edition
5.0
My favorite thing about this book is it feels like I'm chatting with a girlfriend over drinks! August blends personal stories, expert interviews, and top notch research to blow open our ideas of what's sexually normal and reduce sexual shame in the process. This book made me laugh, cringe, cry, and, yes, get a girl boner. Whether you've read ALL the sex books or it's your first, Girl Boner is a must-have for anyone looking to grow in their self-love, their sexual prowess, and to have more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex.
I received an ARC of this book and reviewed it willingly. All opinions are my own.
I received an ARC of this book and reviewed it willingly. All opinions are my own.
beneatthetrees's review against another edition
3.0
This is a book I would recommend to any person interested in learning more about sexuality-- their own and as an introduction to other sexualities. I would still consider it a surface level book as McLaughlin tries to tackle a very wide variety of subjects (while being aware that she is not into porn and is a straight white (and based on some comments she makes, Christian) woman).
Reservations:
The author's extraordinary privilege as an ex-model (she even refers to her "beautiful" privilege, which, I feel, is a way of isolating and creating a dichotomy of beautiful vs. non-beautiful that just shouldn't be brought into an all bodies/sexualities/identities woman-inclusive book) a white woman, a straight woman, and somebody who seems to have come from a conservative Christian home caused a few irritating moments (like when she refers to the volcanic eruption of Pompeii with the comment "[it preserved Pompeii's] every activity like a tragic, permanent mannequin challenge." Ew. I really don't know how to tell you how hard I cringed at that comment.
This also feels a bit like having Anastasia Grey (of Fifty Shades fame) teach you sex ed. Here are some examples:
There are also mentions of pussy-liciousness and a variety of other kind of immature plays-on-words in reference to vaginas that also made me cringe. It almost felt like talking to a teenager who was too nervous to speak confidently about themselves at points.
There was also a segment on predatory priests that she felt the need to include because it gave her a "light-bulb moment" that actually really grossed me out with the implications it caused and the further validation she gave it within the book:
Mmmm, no. I'm going to pass on that being a good point. It creates a really disturbing implication that gay priests never look at the other men in their seminary (or any men in general) as they age and that leads to sexually assaulting children when they become priests. No. Just... no. The author confesses to having an internal bias (that she is aware of and she tries to confront) that she has worried that all men are doomed to be attracted to children. I feel like this passage was an unconscious realization of that bias. I'm not into it and I'm not into how she presents it as a "holy a-ha moment." Hard pass.
I think the forced casualness and constant OMGs, unnecessary question marks, and presentation of sex as if it is something her readers are just now discovering and coming from a shame-based background led to the feeling that shame and sex are tied together. It's probably just a personal preference, but I usually enjoy when a female author talks about sex matter-of-factly and doesn't give any reason to stir up feelings of shame. It's like when someone preemptively tries to reassure you and you sit with a feeling of discomfort as you think, "I didn't remotely need reassurance there, why did you think I did?"
Pros:
-She tries very hard to address the concept of internal biases!
-She has an alphabetic list defining queer terms/sexualities/gender identities!
-Emphasis on self-care!
-She's really good at promoting communication between partners!
-A HUGE variety of subjects! Including STIs, kinks, mindfulness, queer representation (people are only ever referred to as "owners of vulvas" not "females," expectations and myths pushed on women, healing from trauma (though I found it a little unnerving that she so heartily praised her mother's forgiveness towards her own father's sexual abuse as one of the most beautiful things she had encountered because, to me, that creates an expectation and when she tries to deny that expectation later on, it falls flat), and a LOT of testaments from a wide variety of women.
With that all being said, I'm going to buy a copy off of Amazon now to give to one of my good friends because I think she (as a straight white attractive female with a disconnect from her body) would hugely benefit from it. This is a good one for the repressed among us and can give a lot of useful or fun information to the more sexually-researched of us. I absolutely loved the self-care lists she dedicated a chapter to. But definitely there are some reservations.
Reservations:
The author's extraordinary privilege as an ex-model (she even refers to her "beautiful" privilege, which, I feel, is a way of isolating and creating a dichotomy of beautiful vs. non-beautiful that just shouldn't be brought into an all bodies/sexualities/identities woman-inclusive book) a white woman, a straight woman, and somebody who seems to have come from a conservative Christian home caused a few irritating moments (like when she refers to the volcanic eruption of Pompeii with the comment "[it preserved Pompeii's] every activity like a tragic, permanent mannequin challenge." Ew. I really don't know how to tell you how hard I cringed at that comment.
This also feels a bit like having Anastasia Grey (of Fifty Shades fame) teach you sex ed. Here are some examples:
Her personal thoughts in an anecdote:
"Ugh. No, no, no! AAAACK. Was I jealous!?! As if needy hadn't been enough!"
"Then it hit me-- OMG, he meant SEX!"
Or side-notes:
"(In other words, you don't have to wait until you've made like a meditative monk. Um, a sexually active monk?)"
There are also mentions of pussy-liciousness and a variety of other kind of immature plays-on-words in reference to vaginas that also made me cringe. It almost felt like talking to a teenager who was too nervous to speak confidently about themselves at points.
There was also a segment on predatory priests that she felt the need to include because it gave her a "light-bulb moment" that actually really grossed me out with the implications it caused and the further validation she gave it within the book:
(This is a gay priest speaking:) "'There are people who are predators, but their sexuality isn't about sex or pleasure, but domination,' he said. 'Then there are people-- priests, let's stick to that-- who have never really developed as sexual beings, and so their sexual awareness or identity is frozen like a pubescent or prepubescent, like when they entered seminary. They never dated, they never had any sex or intimacy through their early twenties, so then they find themselves in the real world and attracted to the same people that they were attracted to when they were kids, which are other kids.'
Holy a-ha moment-- for me, anyway. That doesn't justify sexual abuse, of course, but it definitely sheds light on roots of the epidemic. Imagine if sex and intimacy were normalized, not only for priests, but within all religions? What a different world this would be."
Mmmm, no. I'm going to pass on that being a good point. It creates a really disturbing implication that gay priests never look at the other men in their seminary (or any men in general) as they age and that leads to sexually assaulting children when they become priests. No. Just... no. The author confesses to having an internal bias (that she is aware of and she tries to confront) that she has worried that all men are doomed to be attracted to children. I feel like this passage was an unconscious realization of that bias. I'm not into it and I'm not into how she presents it as a "holy a-ha moment." Hard pass.
I think the forced casualness and constant OMGs, unnecessary question marks, and presentation of sex as if it is something her readers are just now discovering and coming from a shame-based background led to the feeling that shame and sex are tied together. It's probably just a personal preference, but I usually enjoy when a female author talks about sex matter-of-factly and doesn't give any reason to stir up feelings of shame. It's like when someone preemptively tries to reassure you and you sit with a feeling of discomfort as you think, "I didn't remotely need reassurance there, why did you think I did?"
Pros:
-She tries very hard to address the concept of internal biases!
-She has an alphabetic list defining queer terms/sexualities/gender identities!
-Emphasis on self-care!
-She's really good at promoting communication between partners!
-A HUGE variety of subjects! Including STIs, kinks, mindfulness, queer representation (people are only ever referred to as "owners of vulvas" not "females," expectations and myths pushed on women, healing from trauma (though I found it a little unnerving that she so heartily praised her mother's forgiveness towards her own father's sexual abuse as one of the most beautiful things she had encountered because, to me, that creates an expectation and when she tries to deny that expectation later on, it falls flat), and a LOT of testaments from a wide variety of women.
With that all being said, I'm going to buy a copy off of Amazon now to give to one of my good friends because I think she (as a straight white attractive female with a disconnect from her body) would hugely benefit from it. This is a good one for the repressed among us and can give a lot of useful or fun information to the more sexually-researched of us. I absolutely loved the self-care lists she dedicated a chapter to. But definitely there are some reservations.
unsaidwish's review against another edition
4.0
There was a lot of good material in this book. However, I did start to feel lost through chapters 11-14. While August did say that not all sections would apply to every person, these chapters felt a bit lecture-y to me and less about helping anyone who identifies with femininity to feel empowered. These chapters came across kind of text-book, to me, and felt more like readers are getting more definitions on shame, gender identity, shame (again, but more on the religion aspect, I guess?), and then some information on porn. I did not feel as though there was much empowerment information in these chapters and there could have been. Outside of those chapters, I think this book did a good job of going through various topics and how to use those topics in your own life and comfort-zones to become empowered.
readerio's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
3.0
A good, basic book to brush up on your knowledge. While it was good to see that some experiences are shared, overall I took a while to get through this book as I had other things that were more of a priority.
ylva_chasingbutterflies's review against another edition
2.0
I can find no other word to describe this book except for weird. Not because it was very feminist and what is called progressive, because I know about these theories. But the author seems to be obsessed with masturbation and sex. Masturbation was presented as a magical cure that (alongside therapy) helps with anxiety and other mental problems and also seems to be necessary for a healthy sex life. Almost every chapter contained a remark about how wonderful masturbation helps with the topic of the chapter. She also mentions intercourse positions that are supposed to help with anxiety (I wonder how that is supposed to work). The author also supports prostitution as well as recommends watching (feminist, ethical - though I wonder if porn can ever be ethical) porn and reading erotica multiple times and doesn't adress the fact that some women (and "women with penises", this is supposed to be an inclusive book) might not be interested in masturbation, porn and erotica.
The weirdest chapter was the one about religion. Throughout the book, she already mentioned that "spiritual things" can help with various problems, but then again, she states that you should not let any religion limit your sexuality (why then turn to religion to get help with your sexuality if you don't want to follow its rules?).
There is also a big mistake in the chapter about contraception, where she says that natural family planning is another word for the rythm method, which is completely wrong, and she states a Pearl Index of 24 for all natural methods, which is also wrong. The symptothermal method by Weschler has a Pearl Index of 2 and is as safe as the birth control pill, while the rythm method is not safe and that is the natural method with a Pearl Index of 24. She also gives no reference to where she got the information that the rythm method and NFP/FAM are the same. This is something that she should definitely know as a sex educator!
This book is basically the adult version of Girl (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34500776-girl). Not recommended.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
The weirdest chapter was the one about religion. Throughout the book, she already mentioned that "spiritual things" can help with various problems, but then again, she states that you should not let any religion limit your sexuality (why then turn to religion to get help with your sexuality if you don't want to follow its rules?).
There is also a big mistake in the chapter about contraception, where she says that natural family planning is another word for the rythm method, which is completely wrong, and she states a Pearl Index of 24 for all natural methods, which is also wrong. The symptothermal method by Weschler has a Pearl Index of 2 and is as safe as the birth control pill, while the rythm method is not safe and that is the natural method with a Pearl Index of 24. She also gives no reference to where she got the information that the rythm method and NFP/FAM are the same. This is something that she should definitely know as a sex educator!
This book is basically the adult version of Girl (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34500776-girl). Not recommended.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
noveladdiction's review against another edition
5.0
This was AWESOME. So well researched, and it was educational/academic while still being approachable. I especially loved her interviews with sex therapists of different religions to see how they see sexuality through the eyes of their religious views and values. Informative, entertaining, and highly recommended.
I'll also be checking out her companion workbook, and both are definitely going on my wish-list!
I'll also be checking out her companion workbook, and both are definitely going on my wish-list!