tialedvina's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
I am struggling with what score to give this book.
On one hand - I found myself totally and completely captivated by the Walsh-Adams family and the writing style. The book itself is fabulous and the prose is excellent.
I fell hard for the boys, the brothers, and their silly boyish antics and how they loved Poppy with every fiber of their beings. They felt so real to me that I, a child free person by choice, actually wondered what it might be like to have a gaggle of boys like that.
The family dynamics also caught my interest, and I really enjoyed the way parenting was shown as a constant, ever-changing battle.
Poppy herself was honestly very sweet. I wanted to wrap her up and give her all the love and snuggles she deserves because God she is such a good kid. She has my whole heart!
I also really liked the narrator, even if her pronunciation of Wisconsin was weird (as a born and bred Wisconsinite, no one ever says it right except us). Her voice was smooth and easy to listen to!
Now here's why I gave this less than four stars.
I hated Rosie. I hated her so much I would legitimately scream at her in my car when she'd say something or think something. I understand why she was the way she was, why she had such a hard time with Poppy/Claude and the transition. I understand her character completely. It doesn't mean I hated her any less.
I liked Penn a bit more, but he also annoyed the shit out of me. Where Rosie went the direction of almost being transphobic in places, Penn went the complete opposite and was way too much in places.
I KNOW they're not supposed to be perfect, and if anything, the fact I hated them in their own ways was probably indicative of how well this was written. But as a member of the queer community myself, I don't find this to be a great roadmap for championing queer issues. It's written mostly from the perspective of cis hetero people, and these issues are incredibly delicate.
This doesn't mean I didn't like it, but I really hope people don't read this book and see it as the epitome of raising a trans kid. Because you can do a LOT better (and frankly, should) than Rosie and Penn did with Poppy.
At the end of the day, I really did like the story and it was nice to read something that wasn't just all good in every way. This book was challenging for me in the best kind of way, and I think because of that it deserves the praise it receives. My feelings for it are complex and that's more than I've felt about a book for a long time.
On one hand - I found myself totally and completely captivated by the Walsh-Adams family and the writing style. The book itself is fabulous and the prose is excellent.
I fell hard for the boys, the brothers, and their silly boyish antics and how they loved Poppy with every fiber of their beings. They felt so real to me that I, a child free person by choice, actually wondered what it might be like to have a gaggle of boys like that.
The family dynamics also caught my interest, and I really enjoyed the way parenting was shown as a constant, ever-changing battle.
Poppy herself was honestly very sweet. I wanted to wrap her up and give her all the love and snuggles she deserves because God she is such a good kid. She has my whole heart!
I also really liked the narrator, even if her pronunciation of Wisconsin was weird (as a born and bred Wisconsinite, no one ever says it right except us). Her voice was smooth and easy to listen to!
Now here's why I gave this less than four stars.
I hated Rosie. I hated her so much I would legitimately scream at her in my car when she'd say something or think something. I understand why she was the way she was, why she had such a hard time with Poppy/Claude and the transition. I understand her character completely. It doesn't mean I hated her any less.
I liked Penn a bit more, but he also annoyed the shit out of me. Where Rosie went the direction of almost being transphobic in places, Penn went the complete opposite and was way too much in places.
I KNOW they're not supposed to be perfect, and if anything, the fact I hated them in their own ways was probably indicative of how well this was written. But as a member of the queer community myself, I don't find this to be a great roadmap for championing queer issues. It's written mostly from the perspective of cis hetero people, and these issues are incredibly delicate.
This doesn't mean I didn't like it, but I really hope people don't read this book and see it as the epitome of raising a trans kid. Because you can do a LOT better (and frankly, should) than Rosie and Penn did with Poppy.
At the end of the day, I really did like the story and it was nice to read something that wasn't just all good in every way. This book was challenging for me in the best kind of way, and I think because of that it deserves the praise it receives. My feelings for it are complex and that's more than I've felt about a book for a long time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Outing, Transphobia, and Deadnaming
Moderate: Medical content and Medical trauma
dalek_caan's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
This book put me through a lot of emotions. That's really all I have to say. It was so good and really well told.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Outing, Transphobia, Homophobia, Animal death, Blood, Body shaming, Bullying, Dysphoria, Cancer, Deadnaming, Medical content, and Medical trauma
Minor: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Violence
emmarose4313's review
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Homophobia, Bullying, Medical content, Outing, Dysphoria, Death, and Transphobia
Moderate: Cancer and Terminal illness
Minor: Cancer, Chronic illness, Abortion, Blood, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Medical content, Medical trauma, Vomit, Fire/Fire injury, and Pregnancy
minibean24's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I adored this novel. I loved every character and felt a deep attachment to the family. I truly felt the parents' love and concern for their child and appreciated that the book tackled the intricacies of navigating parenting a nonbinary child, even whilst being fully supportive of the child. It forced me to consider different perspectives- all while still showing unconditional love and support for the child's wishes. It felt like a parenting book rolled into a deeply touching novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Violence, and Blood
Moderate: Child death, Body shaming, Bullying, and Cancer
sbar713's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.75
“Easy is nice, but it’s not as good as getting to be who you are or stand up for what you believe in,” said Penn. “Easy is nice, but I wonder how often it leads to fulfilling work or partnership or being.”
‘This is How it Always Is’ follows Rosie and Penn and their menagerie of sons through the childhood of their youngest, a transgender child discovering who they are, who the world is, and where - and how - they fit.
I absolutely adored this book. Admittedly, I had some trouble getting started because the author’s pacing and sentence structure seemed to lend itself better to an audiobook than the written word, but once I figured out the cadence, I was hooked. I fell in love with this child, and their family. There’s so many personalities, and so many challenges, but it was refreshing to read a warm and supportive LGBTQ story still set with the backdrop of the often frightening world we live in.
Most of all, it made me think. How would I be if I was parenting in this situation? Penn and Rosie are both supportive and loving in different ways, and there’s often no right way. What kind of supportive will I be? But I guess you never know until you’re there.
‘This is How it Always Is’ follows Rosie and Penn and their menagerie of sons through the childhood of their youngest, a transgender child discovering who they are, who the world is, and where - and how - they fit.
I absolutely adored this book. Admittedly, I had some trouble getting started because the author’s pacing and sentence structure seemed to lend itself better to an audiobook than the written word, but once I figured out the cadence, I was hooked. I fell in love with this child, and their family. There’s so many personalities, and so many challenges, but it was refreshing to read a warm and supportive LGBTQ story still set with the backdrop of the often frightening world we live in.
Most of all, it made me think. How would I be if I was parenting in this situation? Penn and Rosie are both supportive and loving in different ways, and there’s often no right way. What kind of supportive will I be? But I guess you never know until you’re there.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia
Moderate: Medical content and Medical trauma
dalxhal's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Medical trauma, Transphobia, Violence, Vomit, Hate crime, and Homophobia
toorsdenote's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Dysphoria, Hate crime, Murder, and Transphobia
Moderate: Cancer, Child death, Gun violence, and Medical content
Minor: Abortion, Blood, Domestic abuse, Excrement, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Religious bigotry, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, and War
justannaagain's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This is an important book. One I think everyone should read. It’s empathetic and beautiful and I’m not sure if there is anything quite like it in mainstream fiction. I’ve read three times now and it never fails to amaze me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Transphobia, and Bullying
Moderate: Gun violence, Medical trauma, and Cancer
Minor: Medical content and Sexual content
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