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Reviews tagging 'Adult/minor relationship'
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell
24 reviews
sabrielsbell's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
4.0
I listened to this on audiobook and really liked the narrators. Some things I enjoyed about this book was the narrative aspects and the dig into current and historical events that dealt with miscommunication. I also liked the way the author slowly added on to the concept he was presenting.
There were a few things that kept me from giving it a five star rating. Mainly, there were several incredibly hard topics that were used to illustrate a point in the book which I did not mind. However, I think the author could have done a better job making sure the reader knew his stance on some of these cases. For example, Brock Turner and his assault is one of the cases. The author uses this story to illustrate the negative roles of alcohol in relation to stranger interactions. I wish the author had also made it clear that Brock Turner was wrong regardless of the alcohol. He does call the assault tragic, horrible etc. and discusses the ruling by the court and why it went the way it did. But, at times it felt that the author was rationalizing Brock's actions instead of using it to make a point. However, after listening to the whole book, I don't think the author was in any way siding with Brock or any of the "bad" people discussed. If the author had been more clear though I think this would be a book I recommended to more people.
There were a few things that kept me from giving it a five star rating. Mainly, there were several incredibly hard topics that were used to illustrate a point in the book which I did not mind. However, I think the author could have done a better job making sure the reader knew his stance on some of these cases. For example, Brock Turner and his assault is one of the cases. The author uses this story to illustrate the negative roles of alcohol in relation to stranger interactions. I wish the author had also made it clear that Brock Turner was wrong regardless of the alcohol. He does call the assault tragic, horrible etc. and discusses the ruling by the court and why it went the way it did. But, at times it felt that the author was rationalizing Brock's actions instead of using it to make a point. However, after listening to the whole book, I don't think the author was in any way siding with Brock or any of the "bad" people discussed. If the author had been more clear though I think this would be a book I recommended to more people.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Gun violence, Racism, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, and Murder
chemeducator's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault and Police brutality
Moderate: Racism, Rape, Suicide, and Torture
Minor: Adult/minor relationship and Alcohol
jemma111's review against another edition
LOVED this at first and wanted so badly to continue. Refuse to subject myself to any more graphic depictions of assault for arguements that could have been made through literally any other means.
Might pick up another Gladwell at some point because the storytelling was spectacular but damn. Completely egregious in my opinion.
Might pick up another Gladwell at some point because the storytelling was spectacular but damn. Completely egregious in my opinion.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault
claire2024's review against another edition
fast-paced
3.5
i think some of the passages surrounding the second chapter could have been done more carefully as they felt somewhat victim-blamy
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Hate crime, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Police brutality, and Suicide attempt
k_ro's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Excellent! A fascinating read, well documented and with a mound of information and great analysis of cognitive biases in humans. A must-read!
Content Warnings
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Suicide, Violence, and Police brutality
fkshg8465's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
1.0
I may be one of the few people who really dislike Malcolm Gladwell. Why do I keep trying to read Malcolm Gladwell's books? Ugh. I should really ban him from my reading list. He's a great storyteller, but to me, that's all he is. I find him lacking in critical thinking and full of biases in his writing. I find this dangerous because other people may go I may be one of the few people who really dislike Malcolm Gladwell. Why do I keep trying to read Malcolm Gladwell's books? Ugh. I should really ban him from my reading list.
He's a great storyteller, but to me, that's all he is. I find him lacking in critical thinking and full of biases in his writing. I find this dangerous because other people may go along without giving it much thought, precisely because he is a great storyteller. I'm so frustrated by his conclusions that have little or no basis. I'm sure he researched everything, and presenting facts is fine, but when he draws conclusions on those facts without backing any of it up or without having demonstrated any logic behind it, I get mad.
I find him dangerous because he leads people to his conclusions without room for doubt when he uses words like, “obviously” to jump to a conclusion that may or may not be logical and in some cases are clearly biased by western outlooks (I see it as the equivalent of mental grooming). In one chapter, he shows a picture of a face he thinks is clearly angry, but in actuality, it can be just as easily interpreted as a confused or frustrated face. Yet, because his standards of correctness is his own interpretation, and because the rest of the argument as based on it, the critical logic falls apart for me.
I also hated that he put rape on trial. Women and victims have a hard enough time being believed, and with his dangerous way of presenting, he’s now given people more reasons to doubt.
One of my own triggers is the police epidemic in the US, and I didn’t appreciate his past treatment of this topic in the other books I’ve read by him, especially because he’s half Black. He seemed to lack sensitivity, and it angered me. He did better in this book, but I hated his treatment of trying to understand Brian Encinia from page one. I admit my own anti Gladwell biases popped up over and over again while reading the book and that it probably was a better book than it felt like for that reason. I only read this book because it was on a must-read list. Never again. Even if just to preserve my own mental health. This man triggers me more than the topics in his books. Henceforth, he’s banned from my future reading list!along without giving it much thought because he is a great storyteller. I'm so frustrated by his conclusions that have little or no basis. I'm sure he researched everything, and presenting facts is fine, but when he draws conclusions on those facts without backing any of it up or without having demonstrated any logic behind it, I get mad. he uses the same examples from book to book. Where’s his originality??
I find him dangerous because he leads people to his conclusions without room for doubt when he uses words like, “obviously” to jump to a conclusion that may or may not be logical and in some cases are clearly biased by western outlooks (I see it as the equivalent of mental grooming). In one chapter, he shows a picture of a face he thinks is clearly angry, but in actuality, it can be just as easily interpreted as a confused or frustrated face. Yet because his standards of correctness is his own interpretation, and because the rest of the argument as based on it, the critical logic falls apart for me.
I also hated that he put rape on trial. Women and vocations have a hard enough time being believed, and with his dangerous way of presenting, he’s now given people more reasons to doubt.
One of my own triggers is the police epidemic in the US, and I didn’t appreciate his past treatment of this topic in the other books I’ve read by him, especially because he’s half Black. He seemed to lack sensitivity, and it angered me. He did better in this book, but I hated his treatment of trying to understand Brian Encinia from page one. I admit my own anti Gladwell biases popped up over and over again while reading the book and that it probably was a better book than it felt like for that reason. I only read this book because it was on a must-read list. Never again. Even if just to preserve my own mental health. This man triggers me more than the topics in his books. Henceforth, he’s banned from my future reading list!
He's a great storyteller, but to me, that's all he is. I find him lacking in critical thinking and full of biases in his writing. I find this dangerous because other people may go along without giving it much thought, precisely because he is a great storyteller. I'm so frustrated by his conclusions that have little or no basis. I'm sure he researched everything, and presenting facts is fine, but when he draws conclusions on those facts without backing any of it up or without having demonstrated any logic behind it, I get mad.
I find him dangerous because he leads people to his conclusions without room for doubt when he uses words like, “obviously” to jump to a conclusion that may or may not be logical and in some cases are clearly biased by western outlooks (I see it as the equivalent of mental grooming). In one chapter, he shows a picture of a face he thinks is clearly angry, but in actuality, it can be just as easily interpreted as a confused or frustrated face. Yet, because his standards of correctness is his own interpretation, and because the rest of the argument as based on it, the critical logic falls apart for me.
I also hated that he put rape on trial. Women and victims have a hard enough time being believed, and with his dangerous way of presenting, he’s now given people more reasons to doubt.
One of my own triggers is the police epidemic in the US, and I didn’t appreciate his past treatment of this topic in the other books I’ve read by him, especially because he’s half Black. He seemed to lack sensitivity, and it angered me. He did better in this book, but I hated his treatment of trying to understand Brian Encinia from page one. I admit my own anti Gladwell biases popped up over and over again while reading the book and that it probably was a better book than it felt like for that reason. I only read this book because it was on a must-read list. Never again. Even if just to preserve my own mental health. This man triggers me more than the topics in his books. Henceforth, he’s banned from my future reading list!along without giving it much thought because he is a great storyteller. I'm so frustrated by his conclusions that have little or no basis. I'm sure he researched everything, and presenting facts is fine, but when he draws conclusions on those facts without backing any of it up or without having demonstrated any logic behind it, I get mad. he uses the same examples from book to book. Where’s his originality??
I find him dangerous because he leads people to his conclusions without room for doubt when he uses words like, “obviously” to jump to a conclusion that may or may not be logical and in some cases are clearly biased by western outlooks (I see it as the equivalent of mental grooming). In one chapter, he shows a picture of a face he thinks is clearly angry, but in actuality, it can be just as easily interpreted as a confused or frustrated face. Yet because his standards of correctness is his own interpretation, and because the rest of the argument as based on it, the critical logic falls apart for me.
I also hated that he put rape on trial. Women and vocations have a hard enough time being believed, and with his dangerous way of presenting, he’s now given people more reasons to doubt.
One of my own triggers is the police epidemic in the US, and I didn’t appreciate his past treatment of this topic in the other books I’ve read by him, especially because he’s half Black. He seemed to lack sensitivity, and it angered me. He did better in this book, but I hated his treatment of trying to understand Brian Encinia from page one. I admit my own anti Gladwell biases popped up over and over again while reading the book and that it probably was a better book than it felt like for that reason. I only read this book because it was on a must-read list. Never again. Even if just to preserve my own mental health. This man triggers me more than the topics in his books. Henceforth, he’s banned from my future reading list!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Confinement, Death, Gun violence, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Police brutality, Antisemitism, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Alcohol, War, and Injury/Injury detail
saskiahill's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Police brutality, and Medical trauma
Moderate: Gun violence and Alcohol
antireading's review against another edition
1.25
I feel as though Gladwell ignores other factors to the discussions he brings up, most especially race, gender, and their intersections. He drills down everything to miscommunication but doesn't bring up the fact that many are predisposed to not wanting to be truthful in communication with women, with Black people, etc. It is not JUST because of policing practices that Black people get pulled over, but it is because of a bias against them and the communities that are over-policed. It felt like he was oversimplifying a lot.
The section on Jerry Sandusky and Brock Turner was gross. He treated CIA operatives who invented torture tactics with more care than victims of rape. He seemed to outright disbelieve the victims of Sandusky and chalk up Turner's rape to a "miscommunication" due to alcohol. He calls most sexual harassment on college campuses miscommunications due to alcohol and hazy rules of consent, while also acknowledging that 1 in 5 female college students report being sexually harassed. He also says the problem is equally with the men raping and the alcohol. Alcohol is a large chunk of the book for no apparent reason as it doesn't tie into the main Sandra Bland storyline like other issues do at the end. I wasn't interested in hearing excuses for a man raping an unconscious woman, but apparently, women should have known better.
The medium of an audiobook was interesting as Gladwell aimed to make it a high-quality podcast. That fell short when I had issues understanding snippets of the audio from various types of recording equipment, age of recordings, accents, and speeds of talking. I found myself just drowning out those snippets, especially when listening in the car, as the jumpiness of quality was too distracting. I feel like the description, while it technically does describe what happened, didn't really feel like the book as I was getting into it. It was very much interconnected stories but I thought those points would be briefly brought up, not dedicating whole chapters to it.
The section on Jerry Sandusky and Brock Turner was gross. He treated CIA operatives who invented torture tactics with more care than victims of rape. He seemed to outright disbelieve the victims of Sandusky and chalk up Turner's rape to a "miscommunication" due to alcohol. He calls most sexual harassment on college campuses miscommunications due to alcohol and hazy rules of consent, while also acknowledging that 1 in 5 female college students report being sexually harassed. He also says the problem is equally with the men raping and the alcohol. Alcohol is a large chunk of the book for no apparent reason as it doesn't tie into the main Sandra Bland storyline like other issues do at the end. I wasn't interested in hearing excuses for a man raping an unconscious woman, but apparently, women should have known better.
The medium of an audiobook was interesting as Gladwell aimed to make it a high-quality podcast. That fell short when I had issues understanding snippets of the audio from various types of recording equipment, age of recordings, accents, and speeds of talking. I found myself just drowning out those snippets, especially when listening in the car, as the jumpiness of quality was too distracting. I feel like the description, while it technically does describe what happened, didn't really feel like the book as I was getting into it. It was very much interconnected stories but I thought those points would be briefly brought up, not dedicating whole chapters to it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Genocide, Gun violence, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, War, and Classism
Minor: Child death and Vomit
mmestitches's review against another edition
0.25
Irresponsible at best. I feel like the point of this book was to humanize how people make terrible mistakes, but ultimately it reinforced the idea that keeping people with power emotionally comfortable is more important than protecting the lives of people without power.
I normally love Malcom Gladwell's work but this book was irresponsible as hell in how it discussed some high profile cases about sexual predators. He draws a parallel between victims of CSA being unable to understand they're being abused and grown ass adults allowing kids being raped as a result of their inability to handle some cognitive dissonance. I see this pattern of making victims of child abuse equally responsible to the adults committing or enabling the abuse, and it makes me want to scream. Gladwell went as far as to play a clip of a victim crying and pleading with her abuser to recognize the hurt he caused, and the purpose of this clip is to show how murky the facts can get in these cases as opposed to being used as a classic example of how a groomed and abused child grows into an adult who feels responsible for healing the person that abused them. These responses are not murky, they are well researched and understood, but holding people accountable for their actions is hard so Gladwell took a lazy, victim blaming approach. How disappointing.
I normally love Malcom Gladwell's work but this book was irresponsible as hell in how it discussed some high profile cases about sexual predators. He draws a parallel between victims of CSA being unable to understand they're being abused and grown ass adults allowing kids being raped as a result of their inability to handle some cognitive dissonance. I see this pattern of making victims of child abuse equally responsible to the adults committing or enabling the abuse, and it makes me want to scream. Gladwell went as far as to play a clip of a victim crying and pleading with her abuser to recognize the hurt he caused, and the purpose of this clip is to show how murky the facts can get in these cases as opposed to being used as a classic example of how a groomed and abused child grows into an adult who feels responsible for healing the person that abused them. These responses are not murky, they are well researched and understood, but holding people accountable for their actions is hard so Gladwell took a lazy, victim blaming approach. How disappointing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Police brutality, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Not worth reading, spare yourselfferdie's review against another edition
challenging
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
The audio book is amazing. Hearing the voices as much as we could felt important to the points Gladwell was making about what we really know from our observations of strangers. In a highly divided world, "Talking to strangers" makes me reevaluate my quick judgement and learn to move through it towards curiosity and nuance.
TThere were parts I greatly disagreed with and times where I waited for Gladwell to bring in perspectives in that he just... didn't. Overall, I appreciated what he added to conversation and definitely learned some new things, but am also walking away from the book feeling like there big pieces missing.
TThere were parts I greatly disagreed with and times where I waited for Gladwell to bring in perspectives in that he just... didn't. Overall, I appreciated what he added to conversation and definitely learned some new things, but am also walking away from the book feeling like there big pieces missing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Police brutality
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, and Alcohol
Minor: Alcoholism, Emotional abuse, and Torture