manipura's review against another edition
2.0
(2.5 stars) Seeing as this is an eating disorder memoir I, of course, devoured it. And seeing as it’s a memoir, which is someone’s take on their own personal experiences, I will try to keep any negative critique reined in a bit.
I’ll also say that my extensive experience with eating disorders is from the perspective of someone with them, not as a parent of an adolescent, which may influence my thoughts on this book a bit.
Alright then, all the disclaimers and notes aside; this was just okay. Parts of it were better than others but taken as a whole it was average at best.
I often felt that this mother had a bit of an issue with accepting that her daughter was dealing with mental health concerns. There was a strong feeling coming across that the mother felt like this was all lumped into ‘mental health’ but -her- daughter was much too smart to be like these other mental health patients. I cringed every time this woman referred to one of the doctors tasked with treating her daughter as Dr Newbie. Navigating the field of mental health and eating disorders treatment can be a struggle and, like all medical treatment, you’ll find doctors that click with you and ones that don’t, but referring to a professional this way feels rude and disrespectful.
Throughout there were instances where Mom essentially implied, or straight out said, that if anything she’d done or said negatively affected her daughters she’d take responsibility…but as far as she could see she hadn’t so obviously the home environment was not a contributing factor. A dysfunctional family dynamic isn’t always negative and abusive and stressful, a dysfunctional family can also be when a parent and child have a ‘friend’ relationalship or when roles are so enmeshed that expected separation doesn’t happen. Speaking of family dynamics and home environment, it’s heavily implied that none of that had an impact but at the same time there are numerous instances where Mom mentions growing up in a diet-centred family, talks about her panic disorder and her anxiety and the fact that when struggling she’ll often sort and tidy and organize things to cope. Related? Not necessarily, but could all of these things have some impact on children observing this in their environment? Absolutely.
A number of things were presented as facts, according to Harriet Briwn when in fact they were not really accurate, or they didn’t give the full picture. For example, the statement that it’s no coincidence that many teens go vegetarian just before descending into anorexia. To this I would counter that many teens embrace vegetarianism because it gives them a valid excuse for making restrictions, it’s a way to ease into disordered eating while staying under the radar. People who are prone to disordered eating are often sneaky and manipulative…the author seemed to have a hard time seeing this in her daughter. Also, a reference to Catherine of Siena, who starved herself and when forced to eat anything other than herbs, would put twigs in her throat to through up; “Sounds like anorexia with a side of bulimia to me” says Brown. Um, no. Without evidence of binging this doesn’t sound like bulimia at all.
All in all I was left feeling like this book was in the same category as the Secret Language of Eating Disorders, and The Best Little Girl in the World…books that seem to exist solely for someone (say, Peggy Claude-Pierre, Steven Levenkron, or even Harriet Brown) to sit back and congratulate themselves on how they saved they day and how their chosen treatment (in this case family-based therapy*) is the way to go.
*For the record, all the studies I found regarding FBT indicate that it’s mainly for adolescents and despite some success the studies and sample sizes are quite small and show high risk of there being informational bias and often weak evidence that it’s better or more effective than individual therapy.
I’ll also say that my extensive experience with eating disorders is from the perspective of someone with them, not as a parent of an adolescent, which may influence my thoughts on this book a bit.
Alright then, all the disclaimers and notes aside; this was just okay. Parts of it were better than others but taken as a whole it was average at best.
I often felt that this mother had a bit of an issue with accepting that her daughter was dealing with mental health concerns. There was a strong feeling coming across that the mother felt like this was all lumped into ‘mental health’ but -her- daughter was much too smart to be like these other mental health patients. I cringed every time this woman referred to one of the doctors tasked with treating her daughter as Dr Newbie. Navigating the field of mental health and eating disorders treatment can be a struggle and, like all medical treatment, you’ll find doctors that click with you and ones that don’t, but referring to a professional this way feels rude and disrespectful.
Throughout there were instances where Mom essentially implied, or straight out said, that if anything she’d done or said negatively affected her daughters she’d take responsibility…but as far as she could see she hadn’t so obviously the home environment was not a contributing factor. A dysfunctional family dynamic isn’t always negative and abusive and stressful, a dysfunctional family can also be when a parent and child have a ‘friend’ relationalship or when roles are so enmeshed that expected separation doesn’t happen. Speaking of family dynamics and home environment, it’s heavily implied that none of that had an impact but at the same time there are numerous instances where Mom mentions growing up in a diet-centred family, talks about her panic disorder and her anxiety and the fact that when struggling she’ll often sort and tidy and organize things to cope. Related? Not necessarily, but could all of these things have some impact on children observing this in their environment? Absolutely.
A number of things were presented as facts, according to Harriet Briwn when in fact they were not really accurate, or they didn’t give the full picture. For example, the statement that it’s no coincidence that many teens go vegetarian just before descending into anorexia. To this I would counter that many teens embrace vegetarianism because it gives them a valid excuse for making restrictions, it’s a way to ease into disordered eating while staying under the radar. People who are prone to disordered eating are often sneaky and manipulative…the author seemed to have a hard time seeing this in her daughter. Also, a reference to Catherine of Siena, who starved herself and when forced to eat anything other than herbs, would put twigs in her throat to through up; “Sounds like anorexia with a side of bulimia to me” says Brown. Um, no. Without evidence of binging this doesn’t sound like bulimia at all.
All in all I was left feeling like this book was in the same category as the Secret Language of Eating Disorders, and The Best Little Girl in the World…books that seem to exist solely for someone (say, Peggy Claude-Pierre, Steven Levenkron, or even Harriet Brown) to sit back and congratulate themselves on how they saved they day and how their chosen treatment (in this case family-based therapy*) is the way to go.
*For the record, all the studies I found regarding FBT indicate that it’s mainly for adolescents and despite some success the studies and sample sizes are quite small and show high risk of there being informational bias and often weak evidence that it’s better or more effective than individual therapy.
bigboop's review against another edition
2.5
As a social worker and someone with an ED I have problems with this book. The why's are never explored, the mother equates weight with recovery, and the whole book is about her.
lazygal's review against another edition
3.0
Ms. Brown has written a mix of memoir and analysis of how to treat anorexia, based on the year(s) her family battled daughter Kitty's "demon". I've worked with students that have had eating disorders, and I've seen the toll it takes on families - it's definitely a disaster for everyone.
Kitty's descent at first appears normal: what girl doesn't watch her weight? Particularly a girl who is involved with some form of athletic activity (in this case, gymnastics)? Our society constantly bombards us with images of thin = in, and even the extreme cases (like, Calista Flockhart or Kate Moss) are somehow acceptable rather than shunned. So dieting, or 'restricting' appears normal to parents. At some point, however, you notice that this normal has become grossly abnormal, and by then your child is helpless in the grip of the disease.
How the Brown's cope with this - from treatment and therapy to battling the insurance companies - makes for interesting reading. It's clear that this is an on-going battle, that even three years (or five years) later Kitty is still in danger of allowing her demon to take over. The decision to go with FBT rather than the usual in-patient therapy is interesting, so their results aren't typical but it's an option families should consider. This is definitely going in our parenting collection.
ARC provided by publisher.
Kitty's descent at first appears normal: what girl doesn't watch her weight? Particularly a girl who is involved with some form of athletic activity (in this case, gymnastics)? Our society constantly bombards us with images of thin = in, and even the extreme cases (like, Calista Flockhart or Kate Moss) are somehow acceptable rather than shunned. So dieting, or 'restricting' appears normal to parents. At some point, however, you notice that this normal has become grossly abnormal, and by then your child is helpless in the grip of the disease.
How the Brown's cope with this - from treatment and therapy to battling the insurance companies - makes for interesting reading. It's clear that this is an on-going battle, that even three years (or five years) later Kitty is still in danger of allowing her demon to take over. The decision to go with FBT rather than the usual in-patient therapy is interesting, so their results aren't typical but it's an option families should consider. This is definitely going in our parenting collection.
ARC provided by publisher.
clellman's review against another edition
4.0
liked/agreed with some stuff, disliked/disagreed with other stuff
mick's review against another edition
5.0
Written from the mother's perspective of a daughter's battle with anorexia, this book encapsulates the way that it affects the entire family. They choose to pursue FBT (family based treatment), which is not commonly used, but generally has more success than residential programs. The book was engaging, insightful, emotional, and yet had lots of interesting scientific references.
marryallthepeople's review against another edition
2.0
Obviously a compelling true story that was easy to read, but it lacked depth.
nikod6e08's review against another edition
1.0
read this book in eighth grade to trigger my ed. remember it sometimes now to trigger my ed
candykay's review against another edition
5.0
Heart-wrenching, informative, real. Harriet Brown takes you on the harrowing journey through anorexia as seen from a mother's point of view. You learn as she learns, what works and what doesn't on the road to recovery. I definitely recommend this book.
tirzahblair's review against another edition
Quite informational. I'm so glad I read this, it shed a new light on eating disorders, the family of those with eating disorders, etc. It changed the way I thought about those with eating disorders, and those in their lives. I highly suggest you pick up a copy and enlighten yourself.
zhzhang's review against another edition
5.0
My feeling towards this book is beyond words. When mental illness and physical sickness combine, the demon attack your beloved one brutally, and you cannot bear the heaviness because when you fight the demon, you are fighting the beloved one at the same time.