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fran_bielar's review against another edition
5.0
Guys this was a WILD ride. Below are my notes that i spoke into Siri as i was listening to this book
My quiz answers (ik im outing myself here but call it vulnerability)
1. A
2. B
3. B
4. D
5. A
6. A
7. A
Intense perfectionist/ classic perfectionist
Cool, so I’m being absolutely absolutely ready for filth, even in the first 20 minutes of this book.
I think the idea in chapter 2 about ambition is so true. Something I have noticed in my own life is that I am somebody who will be ambitious to a fault, where I cannot understand the concept of just existing. Which I think falls under the heading a perfectionist.however I do think that there are frequency holders and I think they do serve a purpose. While they may be infuriating to me sometime, because they don’t necessarily understand why I can’t stop moving, or can’t stop accomplishing tasks, they are able to understand the concept of content, and how to be happy with their situation.
OK, I was getting absolutely slaughtered by this book and forgot to be taking notes, but there have been so many pieces of this book that really resonated with me. Looking specifically at the idea of closure, that one hit really hard. I also think the ideas surrounding productivity and accomplishing tasks being seen as worthy and invaluable and downtime and rest being seen as lazy really destroyed me. I feel very called out, even the idea of decompression or the expectation of spending a third of your day asleep or resting feels crazy to me because how can you possibly accomplish all that you need to get done for the day?
In chapter 8, when she discusses rest and the importance of it, specifically comparing it to water since it is a need and not want, not something that you earn, but something that you must have, she was really yelling at me. I definitely know that I’m somebody who struggles with the concept of resting, even if I do something that should be defined as resting, lay on the couch and watching a movie or just scrolling on my phone or reading a book, I feel as though I’m not resting well enough because I’m still stressed out or anxious during the activity or after. I also often quit resting to laziness, which makes absolutely no sense because when other people rest, I applaud them for doing so but when it’s my turn to rest, I am somehow lazy. She is really throwing some hard punches out here.
Cool, cool, just discovered that asking for help can be reframed into choosing to not give up. Asking for help doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you are in capable of accomplishing a task. I acknowledge that’s a true statement, but it has not felt true for me.
OK, but some of these are just plain funny. Instead of I have baggage to say I have a rich history. That’s just funny.
The concept of the difference between needs and wants is really interesting to me. And the idea of entitlement to do things that you don’t wanna do versus running around and doing things that you do you want to do. Her story about Rebecca feeling entitled about moving across the country who is really crazy to me. I don’t think I’ve ever viewed entitlement in that way, so looking at it from the perspective of I’m going to have to do something anyways it might as well be doing the thing that I want to do was really interesting. I also am somebody who really struggles with the difference between wants. on both ends of the spectrum. I will say that I need the feedback but then simultaneously say that I need to finish the task that I’m doing before I can let myself pee even if that means I’m gonna pee my pants.
I really really REALLY feel that anyone who wants things to be perfect, holds themselves and others to high standards, has a “right” way of doing everything or even those who have been labeled “having OCD” or “just a bit of ADHD” who don’t always resonate with those labels to read this book. It was actually so moving and honestly really comforting to know I’m not the only one like this, to give it a name and to say that there is a way to harness it into power and not try to heal from it
My quiz answers (ik im outing myself here but call it vulnerability)
1. A
2. B
3. B
4. D
5. A
6. A
7. A
Intense perfectionist/ classic perfectionist
Cool, so I’m being absolutely absolutely ready for filth, even in the first 20 minutes of this book.
I think the idea in chapter 2 about ambition is so true. Something I have noticed in my own life is that I am somebody who will be ambitious to a fault, where I cannot understand the concept of just existing. Which I think falls under the heading a perfectionist.however I do think that there are frequency holders and I think they do serve a purpose. While they may be infuriating to me sometime, because they don’t necessarily understand why I can’t stop moving, or can’t stop accomplishing tasks, they are able to understand the concept of content, and how to be happy with their situation.
OK, I was getting absolutely slaughtered by this book and forgot to be taking notes, but there have been so many pieces of this book that really resonated with me. Looking specifically at the idea of closure, that one hit really hard. I also think the ideas surrounding productivity and accomplishing tasks being seen as worthy and invaluable and downtime and rest being seen as lazy really destroyed me. I feel very called out, even the idea of decompression or the expectation of spending a third of your day asleep or resting feels crazy to me because how can you possibly accomplish all that you need to get done for the day?
In chapter 8, when she discusses rest and the importance of it, specifically comparing it to water since it is a need and not want, not something that you earn, but something that you must have, she was really yelling at me. I definitely know that I’m somebody who struggles with the concept of resting, even if I do something that should be defined as resting, lay on the couch and watching a movie or just scrolling on my phone or reading a book, I feel as though I’m not resting well enough because I’m still stressed out or anxious during the activity or after. I also often quit resting to laziness, which makes absolutely no sense because when other people rest, I applaud them for doing so but when it’s my turn to rest, I am somehow lazy. She is really throwing some hard punches out here.
Cool, cool, just discovered that asking for help can be reframed into choosing to not give up. Asking for help doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you are in capable of accomplishing a task. I acknowledge that’s a true statement, but it has not felt true for me.
OK, but some of these are just plain funny. Instead of I have baggage to say I have a rich history. That’s just funny.
The concept of the difference between needs and wants is really interesting to me. And the idea of entitlement to do things that you don’t wanna do versus running around and doing things that you do you want to do. Her story about Rebecca feeling entitled about moving across the country who is really crazy to me. I don’t think I’ve ever viewed entitlement in that way, so looking at it from the perspective of I’m going to have to do something anyways it might as well be doing the thing that I want to do was really interesting. I also am somebody who really struggles with the difference between wants. on both ends of the spectrum. I will say that I need the feedback but then simultaneously say that I need to finish the task that I’m doing before I can let myself pee even if that means I’m gonna pee my pants.
I really really REALLY feel that anyone who wants things to be perfect, holds themselves and others to high standards, has a “right” way of doing everything or even those who have been labeled “having OCD” or “just a bit of ADHD” who don’t always resonate with those labels to read this book. It was actually so moving and honestly really comforting to know I’m not the only one like this, to give it a name and to say that there is a way to harness it into power and not try to heal from it
mariajoy's review against another edition
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
Written approachably and inclusively. There were aspects that did not resonate with me, but the aspects I left with felt deeply impactful
strawberrygrapejelly's review against another edition
4.5
This will help you in some way, even just a little bit. Great for anyone who presents or used to present feminine, especially.
maggie09237's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
5.0
catsamarista's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
There were so many great nuggets from this book — and now I am so sad to be a week+ removed from when I finished it...
A couple of things that really took hold on me (if momentarily...) was to find the meaning, and the meaning is the success or goal accomplished in the journey. For some reason, interpreting it that way changed my mindset a bit.
Being nice to yourself; etc. Also, the fact that you know yourself better than anyone else. Doing less (a la Saving Time, How to Do Nothing), and choosing to spend time on certain things (Time Management for Mortals).
I found myself to be a combo of different perfectionists, which may or may not have helped but — overall I thought it was a breathtaking perspective, that you don't need to change anything about yourself, and fighting against your nature if not what you're supposed to do.
If anything, we (read: I) need to relent and choose what I care about, and poke at why I only start projects, etc.
Idk just be kind to yourself!!!
A couple of things that really took hold on me (if momentarily...) was to find the meaning, and the meaning is the success or goal accomplished in the journey. For some reason, interpreting it that way changed my mindset a bit.
Being nice to yourself; etc. Also, the fact that you know yourself better than anyone else. Doing less (a la Saving Time, How to Do Nothing), and choosing to spend time on certain things (Time Management for Mortals).
I found myself to be a combo of different perfectionists, which may or may not have helped but — overall I thought it was a breathtaking perspective, that you don't need to change anything about yourself, and fighting against your nature if not what you're supposed to do.
If anything, we (read: I) need to relent and choose what I care about, and poke at why I only start projects, etc.
Idk just be kind to yourself!!!