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portybelle's review against another edition
4.0
Terry's week takes a very unexpected turn when first she has to take on the care of her elderly father Eugene when his nursing home has to close temporarily, and then she discovers that her best friend Iris has disappeared, which is completely out of character for her. Naturally worried for Iris, she starts to try to find out what has happened to her and comes across a note which soon has her and her father taking an impromptu road trip from Ireland to Great Britain and on into Europe.
This book is one of these which poses an ethical dilemma. I won't say what this particular dilemma is as I don't want to give away anything from the plot but as is often the case in fiction, I do not know what I would have done faced with the same circumstances. Terry is a character who I could very much identify with. She has always been there for her husband and their two girls (both now grown up but both still quite reliant on their mum). In some ways she's quite obsessive and controlling, but not in a bad way. She knows where everything is, knows what needs to be done when, knows everyone's routines and knows just exactly how everything can be cleaned. This makes her spontaneous decision to try to find Iris and to take her father with her seem even more surprising.
Eugene has dementia and is at the stage of the disease where he needs a lot of help but still has flashes of the person he used to be. It was touching to read about how tender Terry was with him and how kind other people were to him when realising his situation. It was also rather sad to read about his flickers of memory and his childlike confusion.
Sadness was an emotion I experienced a lot when reading this book. I wouldn't normally give a so-called trigger warning about a book but I feel I should mention that if you are coping with or know someone with a terminal condition or dementia you may find this a difficult read. On the other hand, you may find it comforting and reassuring. Because what comes out of the different situations is Terry's courage and the strength of friendship between herself and Iris. She also begins to learn that she can live for herself and not just for her friends and family, however important they are and continue to be in her life.
Rules of the Road is an emotional, beautifully written book. Although there are without doubt, some very poignant moments, there is also a lot of warmth and humour. This is a powerful and moving novel about friendship and courage and living life to the full.
This book is one of these which poses an ethical dilemma. I won't say what this particular dilemma is as I don't want to give away anything from the plot but as is often the case in fiction, I do not know what I would have done faced with the same circumstances. Terry is a character who I could very much identify with. She has always been there for her husband and their two girls (both now grown up but both still quite reliant on their mum). In some ways she's quite obsessive and controlling, but not in a bad way. She knows where everything is, knows what needs to be done when, knows everyone's routines and knows just exactly how everything can be cleaned. This makes her spontaneous decision to try to find Iris and to take her father with her seem even more surprising.
Eugene has dementia and is at the stage of the disease where he needs a lot of help but still has flashes of the person he used to be. It was touching to read about how tender Terry was with him and how kind other people were to him when realising his situation. It was also rather sad to read about his flickers of memory and his childlike confusion.
Sadness was an emotion I experienced a lot when reading this book. I wouldn't normally give a so-called trigger warning about a book but I feel I should mention that if you are coping with or know someone with a terminal condition or dementia you may find this a difficult read. On the other hand, you may find it comforting and reassuring. Because what comes out of the different situations is Terry's courage and the strength of friendship between herself and Iris. She also begins to learn that she can live for herself and not just for her friends and family, however important they are and continue to be in her life.
Rules of the Road is an emotional, beautifully written book. Although there are without doubt, some very poignant moments, there is also a lot of warmth and humour. This is a powerful and moving novel about friendship and courage and living life to the full.
likeasloth's review against another edition
3.0
Ich muss sagen, ich hatte mich auf dieses Buch sehr gefreut. Das Thema "Sterbehilfe" fand ich schon immer interessant, gerade aus der psychologischen Sicht. Auch wenn das Buch nicht so war, wie ich es erwartet hatte, bin ich froh, es gelesen zu haben. Die Stärke des Buches sehe ich gerade in den letzten Kapiteln. Anfangs empfand ich das Buch voller Klischees. Erst im Verlauf des Lesens werden die Charakter:innen und die Situationen vielfältiger. Viele Themen werden angeschnitten, jedoch nicht vollständig behandelt. Ebenso werden Geschichten aus der Vergangenheit der Charakter:innen erwähnt, jedoch erfährt man nicht wirklich, was es damit auf sich hat. So bleibt es der:dem Leser:in überlassen, sich zusammenzureimen was für ein Mensch Eugene Keogh war, bevor die Demenz ihn ergriff oder wie die Ehe und Beziehung anfangs von Terry und Brendan aussah. Die Autorin spielt aber genau damit und so sind auch die Charakter:innen dynamisch, was die Geschichte anreichert. Auch wenn ich mir ziemlich sicher war, wie das Buch ausgehen würde, fing ich doch gerade auf den letzten 40 Seiten an, daran zu zweifeln, ob ich Recht hatte.
Auch wenn sich die Autorin etwas traut, hätte ich mir an manchen Stellen mehr gewünscht. Ich hätte mir mehr Konversation über das Thema gewünscht. Ich hätte mir gewünscht, dass Iris besser versucht ihre Situation zu erklären und ich hätte mir gewünscht, dass Terry eher versucht, es zu verstehen. Auch wenn das im realen Leben oft nicht so ist, kann die Fiktion gerade beide Seiten beleuchten. Stellenweise war mir die Argumentation jedoch leider zu einseitig.
Auch wenn ich gerade die letzten Kapitel (bzw. die Zeit ab Frankreich) als Stärke empfinde, ist das Ende jedoch utopischer als erwartet. Trotzdem stört mich das nicht. Stattdessen freue ich mich für die verschiedenen Charakter:innen.
Alles in allem würde ich das Buch durchaus weiterempfehlen. Als eine Person, die großes Verständnis für das Thema aufbringt, war es schwerer für mich, Terrys Perspektive nachzuvollziehen. Dementsprechend würde ich sagen, dass man darauf gewappnet sein muss, dass man sich mit Suizid auseinandersetzt und das Buch dies auch stellenweise sehr offen thematisiert (wenn auch nicht so offen, wie ich es mir gewünscht hätte). Kann man sich jedoch darauf einlassen, erlebt man vor allem eine Geschichte voller Freundschaft, bei der sich gerade die Hauptcharakterin endlich selber findet.
Auch wenn sich die Autorin etwas traut, hätte ich mir an manchen Stellen mehr gewünscht. Ich hätte mir mehr Konversation über das Thema gewünscht. Ich hätte mir gewünscht, dass Iris besser versucht ihre Situation zu erklären und ich hätte mir gewünscht, dass Terry eher versucht, es zu verstehen. Auch wenn das im realen Leben oft nicht so ist, kann die Fiktion gerade beide Seiten beleuchten. Stellenweise war mir die Argumentation jedoch leider zu einseitig.
Auch wenn ich gerade die letzten Kapitel (bzw. die Zeit ab Frankreich) als Stärke empfinde, ist das Ende jedoch utopischer als erwartet. Trotzdem stört mich das nicht. Stattdessen freue ich mich für die verschiedenen Charakter:innen.
Alles in allem würde ich das Buch durchaus weiterempfehlen. Als eine Person, die großes Verständnis für das Thema aufbringt, war es schwerer für mich, Terrys Perspektive nachzuvollziehen. Dementsprechend würde ich sagen, dass man darauf gewappnet sein muss, dass man sich mit Suizid auseinandersetzt und das Buch dies auch stellenweise sehr offen thematisiert (wenn auch nicht so offen, wie ich es mir gewünscht hätte). Kann man sich jedoch darauf einlassen, erlebt man vor allem eine Geschichte voller Freundschaft, bei der sich gerade die Hauptcharakterin endlich selber findet.
jmatkinson1's review against another edition
4.0
When she finds out that her friend Iris has gone missing, Dublin housewife Terry sets out to look for her. Finding out that she is planning to visit a clinic in Switzerland to end her life due to her progressive MS, Terry decides to accompany her. Which would be fine but Iris hates flying and Terry has her father in the car with her, her father who suffers from dementia. Thus begins a road trip like no other, a trip which will end Iris’s life and change Terry’s life irrevocably.
From its slightly off-putting premise, that of a terminally ill person wanting to end their life in an assisted suicide, Geraghty has produced a wildly entertaining road trip story. Often the sheer silliness of the plot makes one forget the profundity of long-term illness, both dementia and ms. That is what works so well, there is a gentle understanding of the nature of disease and the way this reflects on Terry’s life as a woman who lives for her family and her routine yet is given the opportunity to grow. A very clever book.
From its slightly off-putting premise, that of a terminally ill person wanting to end their life in an assisted suicide, Geraghty has produced a wildly entertaining road trip story. Often the sheer silliness of the plot makes one forget the profundity of long-term illness, both dementia and ms. That is what works so well, there is a gentle understanding of the nature of disease and the way this reflects on Terry’s life as a woman who lives for her family and her routine yet is given the opportunity to grow. A very clever book.
marloesleest's review against another edition
4.0
Terry en Iris zijn al heel lang hartsvriendinnen, ze vertellen elkaar alles en delen lief en leed met elkaar. Maar op de 58e verjaardag van Iris kan Terry haar niet bereiken, bekruipt haar een akelig gevoel en gaat ze naar het huis van Iris, waar ze een ticket voor de Ferry en een brief voor haar vindt.
Uit de brief blijkt dat Iris onderweg is naar Zürich, om daar euthanasie te krijgen in een kliniek voor levensbeëindiging. Iris lijdt al jaren aan een progressieve vorm van MS en wil zelf kunnen kiezen voor een waardig einde, voordat het wellicht te laat is. Impulsief besluit Terry om haar achterna te reizen, samen met haar dementerende vader Eugene, die ze vlak daarvoor uit zijn verzorgingstehuis moest ophalen in verband met een ongedierteplaag. Ze hoopt dat ze Iris op andere gedachten kan brengen, maar Iris is vastbesloten om haar plan uit te voeren. Uiteindelijk vindt ze het wel goed om in ieder geval samen naar Zwitserland te reizen, waardoor deze reis uitmondt in een bijzondere roadtrip.
Tijdens deze reis komen ze verschillende obstakels tegen en staat het gezin van Terry niet volledig achter haar beslissing om zomaar te vertrekken, maar beleven ze samen ook prachtige momenten. Terry en Iris hebben al veel meegemaakt samen, maar dit zal één van de meest intense weken van hun levens worden. Ondanks het gevoelige onderwerp is er ook veel ruimte voor humor, bijzondere ontmoetingen, ruzies en goede gesprekken, waardoor de toon nergens te zwaar wordt, er nieuwe herinneringen worden gemaakt en oude worden herbeleefd.
Het is een boek over vriendschap, over het omgaan met een nare ziekte, over je toekomst in eigen hand willen houden, over hoe liefde soms loslaten is, over je hart volgen, over geluk en over verdriet. Het verhaal voelt levensecht en heeft diepgang, je leert de personages goed kennen en gaat met hen meeleven en op een gegeven moment begrijp je beide standpunten. Het is warm, liefdevol, vlot en puur geschreven en raakt je recht in je hart. Het is een prachtig geschreven boek dat indruk maakt, waar je af en toe stil van wordt en dat ik absoluut kan aanraden als je houdt van een meeslepende roman!
Uit de brief blijkt dat Iris onderweg is naar Zürich, om daar euthanasie te krijgen in een kliniek voor levensbeëindiging. Iris lijdt al jaren aan een progressieve vorm van MS en wil zelf kunnen kiezen voor een waardig einde, voordat het wellicht te laat is. Impulsief besluit Terry om haar achterna te reizen, samen met haar dementerende vader Eugene, die ze vlak daarvoor uit zijn verzorgingstehuis moest ophalen in verband met een ongedierteplaag. Ze hoopt dat ze Iris op andere gedachten kan brengen, maar Iris is vastbesloten om haar plan uit te voeren. Uiteindelijk vindt ze het wel goed om in ieder geval samen naar Zwitserland te reizen, waardoor deze reis uitmondt in een bijzondere roadtrip.
Tijdens deze reis komen ze verschillende obstakels tegen en staat het gezin van Terry niet volledig achter haar beslissing om zomaar te vertrekken, maar beleven ze samen ook prachtige momenten. Terry en Iris hebben al veel meegemaakt samen, maar dit zal één van de meest intense weken van hun levens worden. Ondanks het gevoelige onderwerp is er ook veel ruimte voor humor, bijzondere ontmoetingen, ruzies en goede gesprekken, waardoor de toon nergens te zwaar wordt, er nieuwe herinneringen worden gemaakt en oude worden herbeleefd.
Het is een boek over vriendschap, over het omgaan met een nare ziekte, over je toekomst in eigen hand willen houden, over hoe liefde soms loslaten is, over je hart volgen, over geluk en over verdriet. Het verhaal voelt levensecht en heeft diepgang, je leert de personages goed kennen en gaat met hen meeleven en op een gegeven moment begrijp je beide standpunten. Het is warm, liefdevol, vlot en puur geschreven en raakt je recht in je hart. Het is een prachtig geschreven boek dat indruk maakt, waar je af en toe stil van wordt en dat ik absoluut kan aanraden als je houdt van een meeslepende roman!
mommasaystoread's review against another edition
4.0
Women's fiction can be a hit or a miss for me, and all too often leans toward the former. This one landed firmly in the hit category. The story is emotional and it touches on some tough topics, some harder to read than others. Hard to read or not, the whole thing is beautifully done, and Ciara Geraghty has a writing style that is both compelling and compulsive. I realize that I'm being vague, which is intentional so I don't spoil the read for anyone. I will say that this story is so much more than the blurb suggests. These characters certainly touched me, and I won't soon forget them or their journey. If you enjoy women's fiction and drama, I would definitely recommend this one.
carolinerd's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
A road trip with a difference. Terry, along with her dementia-stricken father, Eugene, is looking for her best friend, Iris. Iris is supposed to be on a yoga retreat but has gone missing. What follows is a life-changing journey involving lots of adventures and insights. It is a wonderful story of friendship, love, courage and living life to the full. Heartbreaking, emotional, funny, moving and uplifting, but refreshingly unsentimental. I loved it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts and Dementia
aperson's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
julie7's review
emotional
reflective
5.0
This was a thought provoking, emotional and extremely well written book. One that I wanted to keep reading to see how it developed.
It handled delicate subjects with tact and sensitivity.
Ideal to take on holiday as easy to follow the thread of the plot. Saying this, don't be fooled into thinking this is a fluffy chick lit book that will have no depth... it has depth in abundance.
It handled delicate subjects with tact and sensitivity.
Ideal to take on holiday as easy to follow the thread of the plot. Saying this, don't be fooled into thinking this is a fluffy chick lit book that will have no depth... it has depth in abundance.
heatherymakes's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
mh_books's review against another edition
4.0
Terry is a worrier, in an okay marriage, with two mostly grown girls, a house in a sought after address and she sticks to the rules of the road. She is also really good at laundry, I mean really good, she may be imaginary but she is never allowed in my house unless she is going to do some good. I thought that was an important part of her character to establish :)
Then one day, she drops off the 58th Birthday cake to the Yoga retreat that her best friend Iris staying at only to find her best friend is not booked there and never had any intention of going. Iris has a whole other secret intention of how she is going to spend her birthday week. Will Terry, together with her Alzheimers suffering Father, abandon her well ordered but gently crumbling life to bring back her best friend from Europe? Well, the answer is in the title of the book I suppose.
Written with warmth and humour this book nevertheless explores some dark themes of loss in general and Alzheimer's and Assisted Suicide in particular. Ultimately though it is a book about love, friendship, self-discovery, and living your best day every day.
The prose is relatively simple and the outlook from Terry’s first-person perspective is straight forward, somewhat self-deprecating but full of love.
Ciara Geraghty writes big bold characters that sing off the page with humour, wit, and a touch of irrelevance and I came to love them all in the end.
This book is recommended for those who don’t mind a little bitter with the sweet and some tears at the end, as this uplift novel includes some darker themes.
Then one day, she drops off the 58th Birthday cake to the Yoga retreat that her best friend Iris staying at only to find her best friend is not booked there and never had any intention of going. Iris has a whole other secret intention of how she is going to spend her birthday week. Will Terry, together with her Alzheimers suffering Father, abandon her well ordered but gently crumbling life to bring back her best friend from Europe? Well, the answer is in the title of the book I suppose.
Written with warmth and humour this book nevertheless explores some dark themes of loss in general and Alzheimer's and Assisted Suicide in particular. Ultimately though it is a book about love, friendship, self-discovery, and living your best day every day.
The prose is relatively simple and the outlook from Terry’s first-person perspective is straight forward, somewhat self-deprecating but full of love.
Ciara Geraghty writes big bold characters that sing off the page with humour, wit, and a touch of irrelevance and I came to love them all in the end.
This book is recommended for those who don’t mind a little bitter with the sweet and some tears at the end, as this uplift novel includes some darker themes.