mgann1's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
mynameisprerna's review against another edition
5.0
Read the 2023 e-book while listening to the 2016 audiobook.
I read a review recently that said that all of Alexis Hall’s protagonists seem to be unlikeable. In this case, I actually liked Ash right away, but I struggled to like Darian.
To me, Ash is what I know, he is relatable. An intellectual, someone who is mentally ill, someone who is relatively privileged but still struggling. Those are my people. But Darian
In the forward, Alexis Hall says “One of the complaints often levelled at romance by, well, wankers is that it’s a genre where nothing ever happens. And while that’s manifestly untrue… it also wouldn’t be a bad thing even if it was. There’s a power and a challenge and a complexity in both creating and reading stories that are almost entirely grounded in emotional journeys.” And I think that’s exactly what this story is. It is an epic emotional journey for Ash,
I loved how Ash’s mental health was written about with both lightness and seriousness. This was particularly present in how we see Ash interact with other people around the subject.
I read a review recently that said that all of Alexis Hall’s protagonists seem to be unlikeable. In this case, I actually liked Ash right away, but I struggled to like Darian.
To me, Ash is what I know, he is relatable. An intellectual, someone who is mentally ill, someone who is relatively privileged but still struggling. Those are my people. But Darian
Spoiler
- with his accent and his tan and his clothes and his simplicity - that’s unfamiliar territory. And I imagine that’s how Ash felt. And that’s obviously how Niall felt. And yet, he was exactly what Ash needed.In the forward, Alexis Hall says “One of the complaints often levelled at romance by, well, wankers is that it’s a genre where nothing ever happens. And while that’s manifestly untrue… it also wouldn’t be a bad thing even if it was. There’s a power and a challenge and a complexity in both creating and reading stories that are almost entirely grounded in emotional journeys.” And I think that’s exactly what this story is. It is an epic emotional journey for Ash,
Spoiler
one that takes him from a sense of worthlessness and panic to the joy of knowing what it feels like when someone else intentionally chooses to love you. Perhaps because of my own experiences with mental health, that feels like a story well worth writing and reading!I loved how Ash’s mental health was written about with both lightness and seriousness. This was particularly present in how we see Ash interact with other people around the subject.
Spoiler
In a moment where Niall is being glib, Ash is able to joke about himself: “What the fuck are you doing?” demanded Niall. “Are you fucking insane?” He was probably hurting me, but I was too far from myself for it to breach the numbness of my skin. “Well, yes. I have a note from my doctor.” But in the moment where Niall is spilling Ash’s mental health history to Darian and all his friends: “It was like being in hospital again. Reduced from the first person to the third. From subject to object. I was disappearing into other people’s sentences. I wanted to speak, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t know how it would sound. Whether my voice would break. If I would be plausible. If I had the right to want anything at all. What use to the sane, after all, were the words of the mad?”I really felt the stark difference in how Ash felt when he was around people who loved him for who he was versus people who are judgmental by nature.
Darian’s touch is light but impactful,
By the end of the book, I really appreciated how far Ash has come with his self-reflection.
This book is part of a series where the unifying factor is the theme of connections between people and how those are mediated through places. This being the first book in that series, I think Hall really hit it out of the park on those notes.
Spoiler
His self-talk in these moments shows the start difference. At the rehearsal dinner… While chatting with Amy and Darian: “Darian laughed, and a vague, unexpected warmth swept over me. Something I hadn’t felt for a long time, something almost like pride, in Amy, in Darian, and a little bit for me. It seemed, just then, an impossible kindness that two such people could find something worth liking in all my sharp and scattered pieces. I turned into Darian’s shoulder and smothered a smile there. One of his arms slid round me as though it was the most natural thing in the world.” But then shortly after with Hugh: “Just then, I was not too proud to plead. Don’t do this to me. He had liked me once. But his face reflected only the blank, uncomprehending confidence of the wholly unhurt, and a touch of private malice…I felt sick. Small and sick and utterly, utterly lost. I wanted—I needed—Somebody to save me. But how could you be rescued from yourself?” It is so clear just how deeply Ash's ability to see himself is impacted by those around him.Darian’s touch is light but impactful,
Spoiler
and Ash picks up on this from the very start, even if he doesn’t quite realize what it means. Early on, Ash says “He caressed my face, light as nothing, sending a strange pleasure, part anticipation, part frustration, rippling over my skin. I felt like a lake, and his hands were the moon.” And when Niall comes to apologize after the fashion show: “Why him?” he asked, grabbing for me as I tried to scramble past. “What does he give you that I couldn’t?” I shrugged. “For starters, he’s not trying to prove to someone else what a saint he is for being with me.” And then: “I just wanted to fix you,” he said. “This is who I am.” I put my key to the lock. “I don’t need fixing.” This is also apparent in a moment where Darian’s simple and clear approach to life makes Ash feel seem like he never has before: "Accidental or not, it was the first flicker of understanding I’d ever received that I had the same right to be just as shallow and stupid as everyone else. That I did not have to be grateful to simply roll from day to day as a bloated, mindless zombie."By the end of the book, I really appreciated how far Ash has come with his self-reflection.
Spoiler
After getting his tattoo, he thinks to himself "When my own happiness was a mystery to me, what hope did I have of being instrumental in someone else's?" And when he goes to see Chloe, he says "it's difficult, sometimes, for me to understand that I have the power to hurt someone. You see, it requires me to accept that somebody might like me in the first place." And when he finally goes to Darian, he thinks "How heedlessly and how deeply I had hurt hi, too preoccupied, as ever, with my own pain and uncertainties." In these moments, Ash isn't fixing anything, but he is realizing how he has been unable to see beyond himself for so long. But then, he does start to fix it. "I'm not here because I'm broken. I'm here because I'm whole. Difficult, potentially undeserving, but whole. And I don't need you, I just want you. I was you"- my voice had gone embarrassingly husky - "so fucking much." And he comes around to healing: "and when he kisses me it feels a bit like fear and tastes a bit like tears, but it's as bright and sweet as sherbet, and I decide to call it joy."This book is part of a series where the unifying factor is the theme of connections between people and how those are mediated through places. This being the first book in that series, I think Hall really hit it out of the park on those notes.
denasquirrel's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
kaydee_reads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Interesting, well-written characters. The main narrator is so unlikeable at times that it’s hard to understand why he’s a good romantic option, but overall it’s very sweet.
carolinereader's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
jollyowl's review against another edition
4.0
A raw take on mental illness and how it impacts relationships. I loved how real and incredibly flawed all of the characters were. I couldn’t put this down.
charinabook's review against another edition
5.0
✨4.5✨
Ok, so it's no secret Alexis Hall is one of my instant buy authors, so the fact I loved this book so much is no suprise.
It did take me by surprise as it isn't exactly like all of his other works, but the writing and construction of character is spectacular, just like it always is in his writing.
I sobbed, a lot, and halfway through had to start annotating. Plot wise, not much happens, internally though, that's where the real story is.
Ok, so it's no secret Alexis Hall is one of my instant buy authors, so the fact I loved this book so much is no suprise.
It did take me by surprise as it isn't exactly like all of his other works, but the writing and construction of character is spectacular, just like it always is in his writing.
I sobbed, a lot, and halfway through had to start annotating. Plot wise, not much happens, internally though, that's where the real story is.
intheblackout's review against another edition
5.0
"You 'ave no idea, babes. I'm like Britney, me"
"In what regard?"
His eyes gleamed. "Not that innocent."
I spluttered, secretly-or not so secretly, from Darian's gleeful cackle-amused.
I love Glitterland so much. I'm so glad I finally picked it up, and this edition is literally gorgeous. It also has so much bonus material! It has the [b:Aftermath|30370329|Aftermath (Spires, #1.5)|Alexis Hall|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1465343180l/30370329._SY75_.jpg|26616636] short story (which is where we get the iconic quote above from), and so much more. This edition is where it's at babes.
I think Darian is my favourite character that [a:Alexis Hall|7032108|Alexis Hall|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1684697572p2/7032108.jpg] has written. I love him so much, I fink he's amazin'. He deserves the world.
Alexis Hall doesn't shy way from Ash's mental health issues. It made for a tough read at times, but it was real and honest.
Ash's and Darian's romance was messy and I was hear for every bit of the ride. I hope they pop up in the other books in this series because I really want to know how they're doing!
Thank you so much to NOLA the Hairball Elf for the gift!!! <3