erikars's review against another edition
3.0
Finished Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion. This is a collection of essays edited by Bender and de Gramont. Like most collections of essays, some are spectacular and some are just okay, hence, the 3 out of 5 rating.
I believe that this book should be read by anyone who cares about reproductive rights and politics, whether they are "pro-choice" or "pro-life". The most important lessons I learned from these essays are these: "choice" is about a lot more than choosing between getting an abortion or carrying a child to term, and reproductive choices are rarely made flippantly or "just for convenience". If nothing else, this book taught me that anyone who thinks that the issue of choice is easy and clearcut is unlikely to have read the stories of real women who have had to make reproductive choices. Abortion is not easy but neither is giving a child up for adoption or keeping it. Fertility treatments are expensive and emotionally exhausting. Being or using a surrogate mother has a social stigma that can ruin lives. And sometimes the choice to adopt is made possible only because some other woman was denied the chance to keep a child she wanted to love.
This is best illustrated with passages from some of the essays that affected me the most.
From "The Ballad of Bobbie Jo" by Jacquelyn Mitchard, discussing the woman who had chosen to be a surrogate mother for the author of the essay,
From "If" by Susan Ito, the story of a mother who was forced to choose between her own life and that of her desperately wanted child,
From "BEARING SORROW: A Birthmother's Reflections on Choice" by Janet Mason Ellerby, Ellerby was a pregnant teenager in the 60s. She was forced to give up her child for adoption, and this scarred her for life. This is just after she found out she was pregnant.
I could go on. But the gist of all the essays is this: Reproduction and building a family is complicated, and the choices involved are not the clearcut, black and white, simple choices that advocates on both sides of the "choice" debate want you to think they are. Although we can debate which choices should be legal, what is certain is this: women need the freedom to make choices and the knowledge and support that will allow them to make the choices that are right for them.
I believe that this book should be read by anyone who cares about reproductive rights and politics, whether they are "pro-choice" or "pro-life". The most important lessons I learned from these essays are these: "choice" is about a lot more than choosing between getting an abortion or carrying a child to term, and reproductive choices are rarely made flippantly or "just for convenience". If nothing else, this book taught me that anyone who thinks that the issue of choice is easy and clearcut is unlikely to have read the stories of real women who have had to make reproductive choices. Abortion is not easy but neither is giving a child up for adoption or keeping it. Fertility treatments are expensive and emotionally exhausting. Being or using a surrogate mother has a social stigma that can ruin lives. And sometimes the choice to adopt is made possible only because some other woman was denied the chance to keep a child she wanted to love.
This is best illustrated with passages from some of the essays that affected me the most.
From "The Ballad of Bobbie Jo" by Jacquelyn Mitchard, discussing the woman who had chosen to be a surrogate mother for the author of the essay,
She carried out son, Atticus — conceived through in vitro fertilization at a clinic in our home state — to a healthy, full-term birth. She endured stinging criticism from friends and strangers, a cesarean birth, and a brutal legal judgment to proudly fulfill all her obligations to us — although fulfilling all her obligations to us cost her everything she thought was real and brought down criticism on all our heads.Bobbie Jo chose to be a surrogate mother. When her husband, who had initially agreed, changed his mind part way through the pregnancy, he convinced the judge in their small southern town that Bobbie Jo was not fit to take care of her own two children.
From "If" by Susan Ito, the story of a mother who was forced to choose between her own life and that of her desperately wanted child,
"Baby needs at least two more weeks for viability. He's already too small, way too small. But you…" He looked at me sadly, shook his head. "You probably can't survive two weeks without having a stroke, seizures, worse." He meant I could die.
…
I signed the papers of consent, my hand moving numbly across the paper, my mind screaming, I do not consent. I do not, I do not.
In the evening, Weiss's associate entered with a tray, a syringe, and a nurse with mournful eyes.
"It's just going to be a be a sting," he said.
And it was: a small tingle, quick pricking bubbles under my navel and then a thing like a tiny drinking straw that went in and out with a barely audible pop. It was so fast. I thought, I love you, I love you, you must be hearing this, please hear me.
From "BEARING SORROW: A Birthmother's Reflections on Choice" by Janet Mason Ellerby, Ellerby was a pregnant teenager in the 60s. She was forced to give up her child for adoption, and this scarred her for life. This is just after she found out she was pregnant.
My body was not my own; perhaps it never had been. When it had escaped my parents control, Alec had immediately taken it up, and when he had abandoned it, a baby had claimed it. It may sound as if I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions, but in fact, I did not completely understand that my body was my own dominion, that I could say what did and did not happen to it. In significant ways, women were not led to believe that they owned their bodies — the state, their husbands, or their fathers did. I willingly handed my body and my future back to my parents. Their money and authority took over, and I surrendered all bids at self-control I would not be allowed to make another decision for a long, long time.
I could go on. But the gist of all the essays is this: Reproduction and building a family is complicated, and the choices involved are not the clearcut, black and white, simple choices that advocates on both sides of the "choice" debate want you to think they are. Although we can debate which choices should be legal, what is certain is this: women need the freedom to make choices and the knowledge and support that will allow them to make the choices that are right for them.
lindsayw's review against another edition
5.0
This book was amazing. The part that resonated with me the most was actually the introduction though, particularly this: “when a pregnancy is unplanned, any subsequent choice is bound to be complicated”. While the term 'Choice' generally invokes the idea of one's views on abortion, what Bender and the other authors point out is that whatever a woman decides to do, the choice she makes isn't going to be one that she takes lightly. What is important is that she HAS a choice.
This book comes from a US perspective, so it was slightly different contextually from the reality in Canada, but that didn't make the stories within this book any less poignant. These are beautiful stories that cover all sorts of perspectives about what Choice really means: women who are single parents, who gave children up for adoption, who had abortions, who underwent fertility treatments to have a much-wanted child, and women who chose to remain child-free. It was so refreshing to read all of these different perspectives, and to hear about the different paths one can take in life when there is a choice available. As the intro points out: "“if you take away a woman’s reproductive rights, you take away her human rights”.
At times, I found this book a bit repetitive, but that really only happened when I tried to read several essays in a row. When I approached them one at a time, however, it was much better, and gave more meaning and insight to each essay that I felt I was missing out on when I tried to read a lot at a time. Overall, a wonderful book, which reminds us "When a woman has no choice, she has no freedom. The path of her life is not her own." It is essential to remember just how important it is to protect that freedom.
This book comes from a US perspective, so it was slightly different contextually from the reality in Canada, but that didn't make the stories within this book any less poignant. These are beautiful stories that cover all sorts of perspectives about what Choice really means: women who are single parents, who gave children up for adoption, who had abortions, who underwent fertility treatments to have a much-wanted child, and women who chose to remain child-free. It was so refreshing to read all of these different perspectives, and to hear about the different paths one can take in life when there is a choice available. As the intro points out: "“if you take away a woman’s reproductive rights, you take away her human rights”.
At times, I found this book a bit repetitive, but that really only happened when I tried to read several essays in a row. When I approached them one at a time, however, it was much better, and gave more meaning and insight to each essay that I felt I was missing out on when I tried to read a lot at a time. Overall, a wonderful book, which reminds us "When a woman has no choice, she has no freedom. The path of her life is not her own." It is essential to remember just how important it is to protect that freedom.
barbsaj's review against another edition
5.0
This is the best, most inspiring and thought-provoking book I've read in a while. I would recommend it to any woman, and I wish every politician would read it. You know what, really everyone should read it. It wonderfully captures the complexities of reproductive choice. I especially liked Velina Hasu Houston's essay.
veefuller's review against another edition
5.0
This was my first read during women's history month, and with the full awareness that we are increasingly edging our way towards a reality in which choice no longer exists.
I absolutely think everyone -- and I do mean everyone -- should read this book. Make it mandatory reading in sex education classes as a minimum.
It's no secret that I am staunchly and firmly pro-choice. And my life has largely been possible because I've been free to make decisions regarding my own desire to reproduce. Had I not had some options open to me, it's very much unlikely that I'd have gone to graduate school or landed in Moscow or met The Cuban. What an astounding reality and one I'm so grateful I don't have to contemplate for long.
I'll never question any choices any other woman makes regarding what she chooses to do with her own body. Those are decisions she must live with as I live with my own decisions. And I will never stop fighting for the young women who follow me so that they will have all of the choices they need available to them.
Abortion should be legal, and safe and rare. And the only way that becomes a reality is if we stop trying to regulate women's bodies. And my favourite bumper sticker is still this:
'How can you trust me with a baby if you can't even trust me with a choice?'
My body, my choice. Full stop.
#womenhistorymonth
I absolutely think everyone -- and I do mean everyone -- should read this book. Make it mandatory reading in sex education classes as a minimum.
It's no secret that I am staunchly and firmly pro-choice. And my life has largely been possible because I've been free to make decisions regarding my own desire to reproduce. Had I not had some options open to me, it's very much unlikely that I'd have gone to graduate school or landed in Moscow or met The Cuban. What an astounding reality and one I'm so grateful I don't have to contemplate for long.
I'll never question any choices any other woman makes regarding what she chooses to do with her own body. Those are decisions she must live with as I live with my own decisions. And I will never stop fighting for the young women who follow me so that they will have all of the choices they need available to them.
Abortion should be legal, and safe and rare. And the only way that becomes a reality is if we stop trying to regulate women's bodies. And my favourite bumper sticker is still this:
'How can you trust me with a baby if you can't even trust me with a choice?'
My body, my choice. Full stop.
#womenhistorymonth
nyertryingtoreadeverything's review against another edition
5.0
This was one of the hardest books I have read this year. In terms of the abortion debate people rarely think with compassion of those with differing views. That's a huge problem in the abortion debate.
These essays deal with a more difficult issue in our society. The choices of parenthood are often thought of to be only joyous. Often though their is a lot of heartbreak around these decisions which people are made to feel ashamed of. It's rare, though maybe it will change, to see this discussed. As a reader opening that conversation was so important.
Thank you so much to the editors and essay writers for sharing their stories.
These essays deal with a more difficult issue in our society. The choices of parenthood are often thought of to be only joyous. Often though their is a lot of heartbreak around these decisions which people are made to feel ashamed of. It's rare, though maybe it will change, to see this discussed. As a reader opening that conversation was so important.
Thank you so much to the editors and essay writers for sharing their stories.
hpayne's review
4.0
A re-read. Another collection of essays that may seem heavy. But the personal nature of the essays helps to make connection with the topic.
overdueshrew's review
5.0
Every essay in this collection was excellent - well written and thoughtful. Highly recommended for anyone with any stance on reproductive choices.