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librarymouse's review against another edition
emotional
informative
medium-paced
2.75
I don't know that this was necessarily what I was expecting. It was thought provoking at some points. At others, I lost the plot. While critiquing gender essentialism in general and in its association with power dynamics and gender stereotypes, the author often relies on it in the language used around her critique of powerful men.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism
catobeyts's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, and Suicide
monalyisha's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.75
I absolutely loved this. Dederer set out to write an ambitious book & she achieved her goal. Not only that, but she came off as being the kind of “cool” that I’ll only ever aspire to be. Her musical references range from Joni Mitchell to PWR BTTM with all the (plumbed) levels of complexity that implies. Ironically & infuriatingly, the effect is that I now want to watch/read/listen to all of the media she questions the morality of consuming.
I want to (re)watch Annie Hall. Remembering how much I loved Rosemary’s Baby, I want to dive into Polanski’s catalog. Of course, these creators are men who have committed terrible deeds (e.g. anal rape of a 13-year-old). Do we just forget that?
Dederer says no. She also doesn’t tell her readers NOT to watch/read/listen. Like any good thinker, she gives us more questions than answers. This isn’t a guidebook. Dederer won’t solve your ethical dilemma. She will ask you to lay bare your own reasoning and emotions, your insecurities, your doubts, your loves, your biases. She’ll do it by modeling this behavior on the page. She doesn’t let herself squirm away; she questions whether she is, herself, a monster. She unflinchingly tells you why she sometimes worries she might be.
Ultimately, she’ll tell you not to discount beauty or community. She’ll advise you not to place an undue emphasis on individual consumption. She’ll focus on systemic evils. She’ll tell you that “the way you consume art doesn't make you a bad person, or a good one. You'll have to find some other way to accomplish that.” She’ll encourage you not to forget about these other ways.
I do have a single criticism, which comes in the form of two words: “The Stain.” This is a concept Dederer introduces early on in the book and it’s something that she returns to repeatedly: how an artist’s biography can “stain” their work (spreading backwards and forwards through time), like wine spilled on linen. Unfortunately, this metaphor spills out of her in the chapter about Michael Jackson.
She writes, “The image of the stain immediately took hold of my brain (an especially poignant image in the context of Michael Jackson and the bleached anti-stain of his skin).” YIKES. Following this logic, blackness becomes “the stain.” I don’t for one second believe that Dederer intended to equate the two. But I wish she’d introduced the metaphor in the chapter about Picasso, when talking about his paints. For me, this single line about “the stain” became a stain on my total & unabashed enjoyment of her book. But I’m trying to convince myself that it was more a quick & clumsy fumble with a cup of coffee than a shattering of a full glass of Cabernet. It might come out in the wash.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Racism, Rape, Suicide, Transphobia, Antisemitism, Murder, and Abandonment
ambergamgee's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Rape, and Sexual assault
reb_knits's review against another edition
dark
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, and Murder
erinbarton's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault
jayisreading's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
2.0
I wish this essay collection worked for me, given my interest in the topic. but I found it rather disappointing. I think the questions that Dederer wanted to address are crucial ones for all of us to contend with. Can you actually separate art from the artist? Is it ethical to consume media by problematic (or “stained,” as she describes it) people, some of whom are labeled geniuses? How should we be engaging with problematic media, if at all?
I will say that I think it’s a little unfair to expect concrete answers from her, considering that it’s a bit more complicated than giving a simple “yes” or “no” response. However, a reader only has so much patience for any amount of waffling; by the third or fourth chapter, I was tired of it. I think it’s fine if an author wants to take a moment to think about a particular topic on-page, but they need to give the reader a reason to stick around for it. In other words, what’s at stake? Why should we care? Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of a point to any of these essays that gave me any indication as to why what Dederer wrote mattered. She had numerous missed opportunities to do in-depth analyses with the issues she raised. Instead, she provided a lot of surface-level observations that gave the reader very little to work with, other than to quizzically wonder, “Why should I care about your feelings over your favorite artist being problematic?” Relatedly, I saw a few reviewers comment that this book reads more like a memoir, which I’m inclined to agree with, especially when one takes into account the handful of personal anecdotes that Dederer hardly connected (if at all) to the topic at hand. In addition, I felt that she often failed to give enough context when she called a number of individuals “monsters.” Sure, readers could do separate research on some of the mentioned figures in the book to learn more about their wrongdoings, but part of an essayist’s responsibility is to provide even some of that context and nuance.
Again, the questions posed in this book are important ones. However, I think Dederer could have afforded to spend more time with these essays to better establish the points she wants to make, as well as to reorganize her ideas so that they are more closely connected.
Note: Many thanks to the publisher for sending me a finished paperback copy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, and Antisemitism
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Death, Suicide, and Transphobia
emily_pns's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Rape, and Sexual assault
dinocraniac's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Book with a topic made for me! Separating the art from the artist has always been such a struggle for me. Dederer's book was so captivating and most of the time I didn't want to stop reading. However, there were parts that were incredibly uncomfy to read. Such a jarring and horrifying opening to the book. Like actually an insane way to open a book. And the whole chapter about Lolita. Ending was a bit weak as well, at least the second to last chapter. Throughout the book it annoyed me how she kept saying "we", only to be like "not we, I". She would correct herself and then keep doing it like please get your shit together. But anyway. Overall a really good book, highly reccomend.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, and Suicide
kirstym25's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, and Rape
Moderate: Alcoholism and Infidelity