daniellemjoyce's review against another edition

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4.0


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shewantsthediction's review against another edition

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4.0

I didn't expect this book to go so deep into abuse, but I'm really glad it did. Emotional/physical neglect are so hard to put a finger on, but the way she described it made me feel so much less alone in my own childhood. I almost can't believe there's someone out there who had to "grow up" even faster than I did, with her being emancipated so young. Her audio narration reminded me quite a bit of the Youtuber bestdressed. The only thing I didn't really like about this book is she tended to ramble on too long, especially towards the end of the book, and referred to having sex for the first time as "losing her virginity." It was just a strange choice of words since she seemed so feminist in other respects. I was also quite curious about her autistic brother, but he was only briefly mentioned.

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stguac's review against another edition

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4.25

 I feel like this title is a little misleading because throughout the book, no one had ever really asked Abby about her uterus. Frankly....most people seem indifferent to uteruses.

As someone with a uterus, as someone with possibly endometriosis, as someone unable to get doctors to take them seriously for these issues, this was a genuinely upsetting, miserable, triggering read. The book awoke a response in me i can only really describe as mourning because i don't think my sexual/reproductive health has ever been normal and yet it's always been dismissed by everyone around me (cis women, cis men, doctors...the third gender ofc) as not being that bad. Occasionally other trans people, including transmisogyny affected people, people who don't have uteruses, have commiserated with me, and I've really appreciated this, especially because i felt like other women who do have uteruses just...seem so dismissive of anyone who complains about menstruation. Like I'm not doing it right.

I hesitate to harp on the lack of inclusivity because this is more of a memoir than i expected. Abby Norman is an advocate, yes, but she's also a victim of the medical system abusing and neglecting her. Some of these interactions in the book are mind-numbing. Like it makes me want to black out with rage sometimes thinking that doctors can speak to patients sobbing in front of them with such hatred in their eyes. But the fact remains that this is the story of a white cis woman, and she does try to point out that things are exponentially more difficult for BIPOC and transgender people looking for a diagnosis. And as helpful as the book was for me, this was not my experience. No matter what, i cannot make this fit my life.

But maybe i don't need it to. Endometriosis is such a broad experience. It isn't just something you can check off as typical of the diagnosis. Some people will have all the typical symptoms. Others will have a bunch of perplexing symptoms maybe only tangentially related to their reproductive systems. The fact that the majority afflicted are cis women, that nonwhite women and trans people barely have access to medical care let alone the attention of a self important doctor, that trans women may be afflicted yet are overwhelmingly dismissed....all of this amounts to a disease of invisibility. Of pathology. Where it's all in your head. Stop complaining. Get back to work. If you didn't live the way you did, you wouldn't be this way. And so on.

I think books like these are important. Norman has not described the entire endometriosis experience. She is privileged in many aspects, but has suffered tremendously in others. And she's used her voice to try to get more research and eyes on people who normally don't get much attention. If you suspect you have endometriosis, please check this one out. 

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