Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - A Personal Matter

This is the type of book where the ending completely changes the way I look at the story. Now looking back the book is really about finally growing up and taking accountability. The main character is really despicable but the problem is that you can still kind of understand why he acts the way he does. His wife deserves SO much better though, I mean we don’t even get to know her name…

Content Warnings

strrygo's review against another edition

Go to review page

slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Content Warnings

thebearnest's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

novelyon's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

adiereadstoo's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional funny reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

joystar's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

This book is about a man running away from complications in a marriage and in becoming a parent. It is sort of a story of facing challenges and your responsibilities. The entire story is a rumination about worries of his child, born with a deformity that may lead to a mental disability. Should he let the child die? He is very ashamed of his imperfect child and of his own reactions to his circumstance. ,

Content Warnings

seebrandyread's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A Personal Matter is not a pleasant read. Bird, the 27 -year-old protagonist, is already on precarious ground in his marriage and teaching career when his first child, a son, is born with a severe birth defect that all but ensures a life of pain. Bird finds some comfort in the doctors' prediction of a quick death, but each day the baby lives drives Bird deeper into desperation for escape and relief.

Much of this book reads like a study in toxic masculinity. Bird often feels the only way to prove or express himself at all is through violence whether fighting a group of boys younger than himself or engaging in sadistic sex acts with his mistress. Ōe uses an overly Freudian approach in linking Bird's sexual performance and fears to other dysfunction in his life. We follow Bird for the entirety of the novel as he agonizes over how to end his own suffering and only see his wife in one brief scene as she waits in the hospital, unaware of her husband's or infant's whereabouts.

Bird is an intentionally unlikeable character, but he's not entirely unrelatable. His emasculation is linked to his immaturity and lack of a role model. We learn pretty late in the story that his father was violent as well and committed suicide (one of several pivotal suicides in Bird's life) when Bird was a small child. At times it seems as though Bird is headed toward this same fate as it becomes clearer just how closely attached he is to his own child. His need to destroy his son is a reflection of his own impulse of self destruction and that the fear that consumes him at the prospect of his son living is the same fear he has for his own life: the danger of being an outlier in society and the inability to live a meaningful life.

Bird compares his suffering to a cave without an exit in which he is totally alone. However, the irony of suffering is that loneliness is integral to it, but if we all suffer, why can't we find connection in that commonality? Bird's conundrum is another link to his son who already lacks many communication skills as an infant and whose future abilities are entirely unknown. His onus is to realize that his life is ultimately his to lead, that he is responsible for its meaning or lack thereof.

Content Warnings

More...