Reviews tagging 'Grief'

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

21 reviews

amaranth_wytch's review against another edition

dark slow-paced

1.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Death, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Stalking, Murder, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Drug use, Physical abuse, Rape, Blood, Car accident, Death of parent, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Incest, Grief, and Pregnancy

allysontrinh's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

The infamous Lolita is a classic that I was excited to dive into, having heard so many things about it. The story seemed interesting, dark, and like it would leave me feeling emotionally confused and numb—everything that I yearn for in a book. While the book definitely delivered on all fronts in that regard, I can't help but feel disappointed. Unlike other dark and heavy stories, I did not feel satisfied after finishing this book as a result of the older style of writing. Maybe this is more telling of my literary comprehension/understanding than of the literary quality of this novel, but what review is 100% objective? So while I can't faithfully comment on the writing itself, I can still speak upon the story.

This story is disgusting, horrifying, spine-chilling, thought-provoking, mind-bending, honest, and confusing all at the same time. Nabokov is able to transform his readers into Humbert Humbert, meaning I was repulsed and confused with myself when I snapped out of the immersion. Would I suggest others to read? I'm not sure, it depends on the type of reader and person you are. If you're looking for an easy read, steer clear! But if you don't mind an older style of writing, random French, German, and Latin scattered throughout, and dark/twisted stories are your thing, then this classic is worth the read. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Kidnapping, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

charlotteturt's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Incest, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Racial slurs, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Kidnapping, Grief, and Death of parent

nisha_111's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Kidnapping, Grief, Stalking, Car accident, Death of parent, Murder, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

turtlebones's review against another edition

challenging dark sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I almost DNF this book but stuck it out and boy… once i did…. you can’t help but feel sorry for the professor but then you realize what he’s doing and who he is and you feel for Lolita. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Kidnapping, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

rosesbooks24's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Blood, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment

gingerlarue's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Trafficking, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

manybees's review against another edition

dark emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

Despite its reputation I found it more sad than disturbing. Dolly Haze is probably one of my favourite characters in all of literature. I’m gonna be thinking about this one for a while.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Incest, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Car accident, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Alcoholism, Confinement, Death, Miscarriage, Medical content, Grief, Pregnancy, and Classism

Minor: Biphobia, Body shaming, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts

There is only one abuse scene that could be considered sexually explicit and it is written in such an abstracted and poetic way that it’s almost kinda hard to tell what’s going on. There is also period-typical racism and racial slurs.

gabriella_'s review against another edition

challenging dark tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This is literally one of the worst books I’ve ever read and the fact it’s well written makes me hate it more

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Stalking, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

cateyeschloe's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

“Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as ‘nymphets’.”

 

Right from the jump, our narrator “Humbert” begins laying the groundwork of excuses to defend himself and other pedophiles for their actions and desires.

 

“… there must be a gap of several years, never less than ten I should say, generally thirty or forty, and as many as ninety in a few known cases, between maiden and man to enable the latter to come under a nymphet’s spell.”

 

Over and over again, Humbert tells us that he and people like him are more or less guiltless in succumbing to their desires. He constantly lays the guilt at the feet of the children whom he claims are “little deadly demon[s] among the wholesome children”. He explains that not all little girls are “nymphets”, but that the ones that are are very special and have some near-magical ability to seduce a man with her presence alone, sans any actions or words on her part.

 

Humbert repeatedly seeks to infantilize himself, making himself seem absolutely pathetic and weak, completely out of control, with no ability whatsoever to stop this onslaught of “seduction” from literal children.

 

“… the majority of sex offenders that hanker for some throbbing… physical but not necessarily coital, relation with a girl-child, are innocuous, inadequate, passive, timid strangers who merely ask the community to allow them to pursue their practically harmless, so-called aberrant behavior… We are not sex fiends! We do not rape… We are unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen, sufficiently well integrated to control urge in the presence of adults, but ready to give years and years… for one chance to touch a nymphet.”

 

Now, as far as the writing goes, I feel a couple of different ways about it. I would say a very large chunk of this book, for my personal tastes, is excessively wordy and rambling. However, I do believe that this is intentional on Nabokov’s part because even Humbert addresses his wordiness at times, claiming that he is plumping up the text of his memoir to provide evidence that he “did everything in [his] power to give [his] Lolita a really good time.”

 

Even so, there are entire chapters that could easily be eliminated and the story would be more streamlined and smoother to read. I struggled to keep pushing through around the 50% mark in the book, and the last 25% of the book was equally as difficult for me to get through just from boredom.

This book also has a lot of archaic vocabulary and many, many passages of French with random bits of Latin. I was very grateful to have been reading this as an e-book because I gave the Define and Translate features a WORKOUT. 

 

There are random sprinklings of racism throughout the book as well, mainly executed in the ways Humbert describes Black people – especially their appearance – that he encounters, even going so far as referring to a Black employee in a hotel as “Uncle Tom”.

 

Misogyny is another common theme throughout the book, probably unsurprisingly. Humbert often talks about his complete disdain for adult women. He despises them, calls them “stupid” and “idiots”, and ceaselessly describes them as “ugly” or “fat”.

 

“There are few physiques I loathe more than the heavy low-slung pelvis, thick claves, and deplorable complexion of the average coed (in whom I see… the coffin of coarse female flesh within which my nymphets are buried alive)…”

 

I will say, one of the points the Foreward in Lolita emphasizes is that there are no “lewd” scenes in this book, there’s nothing graphic, no depictions of the multitude of rapes that happen to a 12-14 year old in this book. And Nabokov is telling the truth. Despite the lack of “graphic” details, it is ABUNDANTLY clear every time it happens, and Humbert’s use of flowery language (especially referring to the rape as “making love”) does nothing to soften the gut punch of realizing what’s happening every time.

 

I don’t think you could rightfully read this book without commenting on the fact that Humbert is absolutely, definitively an unreliable narrator. We are never allowed to see the events that transpire from the “Lolita’s” perspective (Dolores is her name, and I will be referring to her as such from here forward). Humbert consistently describes Dolores’ words and actions, but we are almost never allowed to hear her speak for herself and never to see things from her perspective. Even the few times in the book where we do get a direct quote from Dolores, it is still penned by Humbert’s hand, and we simply don’t know where reality actually lies.

 

“… it would take hours of blandishments, threats, and promises to make her lend me for a few seconds her brown limbs in the seclusion of the five-dollar room before undertaking anything she might prefer to my joy.”

 

Numerous times, Humbert admits that he uses force and coercion to get what he wants from Dolores, at one point even threatening if she turned him in to the police and he went to prison, “What happens to you, my orphan?”. He describes the derelict condition of orphanages and homes in detail to her and ends with: “This is the situation. This is the choice. Don’t you think that under the circumstances Dolores Haze had better stick to her old man?”

 

If I were completely honest, I would find it absolutely infuriating to hear anyone make the claim that “Lolita” is, in reality, a seductress. This rings completely hollow and devoid of the truth we see between the lines of her story –  one of constant physical, mental, and emotional abuse from birth, consistently being used and manipulated by more than one person, and then – if anything – manipulating her oppressors with the very thing they want from her to gain some kind of advantage or escape. The very fact that Dolores had to weaponize her own body, her own sexuality, her own self is heartbreaking and a tragedy. And to look past that fact and merely claim that she was a “vile and beloved slut” as Humbert (and perhaps some of his audience) does, is reprehensible and an insult to the victims of CSA and SA in the real world.

 

Nabokov ends the book with an Afterword that I grappled with digesting. In it, he claims that this story, Lolita, has no moral. That there is no moral weight to this story nor that anything should be gleaned from it. That it is just a story. I feel that I fundamentally disagree. Writing, in and of itself, carries a weight of responsibility, but a book on a topic like this? It must answer that responsibility. To leave it without a firm stance simply opens the door to what, I feel, culture has done with the idea of a “Lolita”, glorifying it rather than depicting it as the horror that it is.

 

“I have but followed nature. I am nature’s faithful hound.”

 

Humbert is a twisted individual who repeatedly convinces himself that he “loves” and cares for his victim, despite all the evidence to the contrary. He is a deeply troubled character with clear mental health issues even aside from the pedophilia.

 
This book was extremely difficult to consume, and it took me quite a while to read it because I kept wanting to take breaks and step away from what I was reading. It’s a hard read. Well written and a topic that should be addressed and discussed, but definitely one that should be broached with the content and trigger warnings in mind.

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I did watch both film versions of Lolita, one from 1962 and one from 1997.

 

The ’97 film, in my opinion, honestly was too gentle in its depictions of Humbert’s relationship with Dolores. If anything, it came across as heavily romanticized and the actress who played Dolores was, I believe, 16 and looked about that age. It’s a disservice to the story to have Dolores look older than the 12 years she is at the start of their journey together. The audience should be faced with just how uncomfortable it is to see these things happen to a pre-teen child.

 

The ’62 version was for me a better film as far as production quality goes, but it somehow was even more reserved in its depictions of Humbert’s relationship with Dolores. It was basically never stated for 90% of the movie that their relationship was sexual, and I had the same issues with this version as the other – that this is a failing in its retelling. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Incest, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Kidnapping, and Murder

Moderate: Death, Gun violence, Racism, Car accident, and Death of parent

Minor: Body shaming, Grief, and Pregnancy