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ester_duraes's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Pedophilia, and Rape
forgottensecret's review against another edition
5.0
'Fairy tales are an age-old source of wisdom. Why else have they stood the test of time so well? Cinderella ought to do all she can to leave the ball before midnight; Red Riding Hood ought be wary of the wolf and his cajoling voice; Sleeping Beauty ought to keep her finger far from the irresistible temptation of the spindle; Snow White ought to evade the hunters, and nothing on earth should tempt her to take a bite from the oh-so-red, mouthwatering apple that fate holds out to her. So many warnings that every child would be wise to follow to the letter.'
Adults who forfeit their responsibility to care and to look out for children are painfully negligent. The number of people who knew that Springora and Gabriel Matzneff were in a relationship from the age of 13 is disturbing: her mother who encouraged it, her father threw a chair at the wall after finding out (but made no further efforts), a philosopher friend of his (a nihilist) who defended his lies and attitude, her friends at school, the police at one point suspected and not to mention his published diaries and novels which will be used in evidence in his upcoming trial. As the author writes, it does seem like there is some exemption in the art world for doing morally questionable things - which is the one way to try to make sense of this being excused by adults who did know. But one wanted to scream at these adults, telling them it is their responsibility to intervene and protect this child. Counterarguments about freedom of morality, such as 'In 1977, an open letter in support of the decriminalization of sexual relations between minors and adults, entitled “Regarding a Trial,” was published in the newspaper Le Monde, signed by a number of eminent intellectuals,psychoanalysts, well-known philosophers, and writers at the peak of their careers, largely from the left' do not impede the emotional damage that is done to the author. The consequences are: a psychotic episode, the difficulty to trust men, depression, the nearly falling away from school. At any time someone might have stepped in and they didn't. This was a girl who describes the forfeit of responsibility of her father 'Fathers are meant to be their daughters’ protectors. Mine is no more than a current of air.', whose mother had shouting matches with her husband until she was brave enough to leave. Although, she and her mother had a close relationship initially 'My worship of her has no limits; she is my sun, the source of my happiness.' This was altered as her mother lost her job at the publishing house, and had to proofread travel guides, putting on weight and drinking too much alcohol. She describes the effect this had on her:
'There were fewer parties; friends rarely came over anymore to play the piano and belt out songs at the top of their voices; my beautiful mother grew dull, withdrew from the world, began drinking too much and spending hours in front of the television. She put on weight, let herself go. She was in such a bad way, she couldn’t see that her single life was as much of a burden for me as it was for her.'
The absence of a father, the descent of the bond with her mother made it all too simple for Matzneff to take advantage. There being a subsequent encouragement of their relationship reduced any trepidation that might have been prompted by others deterring her. His insistence transformed her from feeling like a 'toad' into a 'goddess'. As she writes:
'The letters kept coming, each more passionate than the last. G. declared his love for me in every possible way, begged me to come back and see him as soon as I could, vowed he couldn’t live without me, that life wasn’t worth living a moment longer if he wasn’t in my arms. Overnight I had turned into a goddess.'
Given the instability in her home, it is understandable why Springora followed the path that she did. As for Matzneff, as she writes later, it is not that she was someone who he had uniquely fallen for. He was pathological, unrepentant and irredeemable. He boarded planes to the Philippines to prey on those where it is even less restricted, and for anything but justice to occur following the publication of this memoir would violate sense.
This book is an important, brave memoir for bringing a man - finally - to account but it could also be seen as a call to adults to more carefully make sure that young people aren't being exploited or abused. It is also a memoir about rebuilding oneself after abuse, and having to be one's own savior when the adults in the room vacate that position.
Adults who forfeit their responsibility to care and to look out for children are painfully negligent. The number of people who knew that Springora and Gabriel Matzneff were in a relationship from the age of 13 is disturbing: her mother who encouraged it, her father threw a chair at the wall after finding out (but made no further efforts), a philosopher friend of his (a nihilist) who defended his lies and attitude, her friends at school, the police at one point suspected and not to mention his published diaries and novels which will be used in evidence in his upcoming trial. As the author writes, it does seem like there is some exemption in the art world for doing morally questionable things - which is the one way to try to make sense of this being excused by adults who did know. But one wanted to scream at these adults, telling them it is their responsibility to intervene and protect this child. Counterarguments about freedom of morality, such as 'In 1977, an open letter in support of the decriminalization of sexual relations between minors and adults, entitled “Regarding a Trial,” was published in the newspaper Le Monde, signed by a number of eminent intellectuals,psychoanalysts, well-known philosophers, and writers at the peak of their careers, largely from the left' do not impede the emotional damage that is done to the author. The consequences are: a psychotic episode, the difficulty to trust men, depression, the nearly falling away from school. At any time someone might have stepped in and they didn't. This was a girl who describes the forfeit of responsibility of her father 'Fathers are meant to be their daughters’ protectors. Mine is no more than a current of air.', whose mother had shouting matches with her husband until she was brave enough to leave. Although, she and her mother had a close relationship initially 'My worship of her has no limits; she is my sun, the source of my happiness.' This was altered as her mother lost her job at the publishing house, and had to proofread travel guides, putting on weight and drinking too much alcohol. She describes the effect this had on her:
'There were fewer parties; friends rarely came over anymore to play the piano and belt out songs at the top of their voices; my beautiful mother grew dull, withdrew from the world, began drinking too much and spending hours in front of the television. She put on weight, let herself go. She was in such a bad way, she couldn’t see that her single life was as much of a burden for me as it was for her.'
The absence of a father, the descent of the bond with her mother made it all too simple for Matzneff to take advantage. There being a subsequent encouragement of their relationship reduced any trepidation that might have been prompted by others deterring her. His insistence transformed her from feeling like a 'toad' into a 'goddess'. As she writes:
'The letters kept coming, each more passionate than the last. G. declared his love for me in every possible way, begged me to come back and see him as soon as I could, vowed he couldn’t live without me, that life wasn’t worth living a moment longer if he wasn’t in my arms. Overnight I had turned into a goddess.'
Given the instability in her home, it is understandable why Springora followed the path that she did. As for Matzneff, as she writes later, it is not that she was someone who he had uniquely fallen for. He was pathological, unrepentant and irredeemable. He boarded planes to the Philippines to prey on those where it is even less restricted, and for anything but justice to occur following the publication of this memoir would violate sense.
This book is an important, brave memoir for bringing a man - finally - to account but it could also be seen as a call to adults to more carefully make sure that young people aren't being exploited or abused. It is also a memoir about rebuilding oneself after abuse, and having to be one's own savior when the adults in the room vacate that position.
teraesia's review against another edition
5.0
Chce to veľmi veľa odvahy, po desiatkach rokov vyjaviť svoju ťažkú minulosť. Verím však, že autorku to v mnohom oslobodilo. Aké to je, žiť celý život s tým, ako vám vaše bolestivé dospievanie dýcha na krk? Táto kniha nie je len priznaním, je to vyliatím svojej duše. Na nič sa nehrá, všetko píše tak, ako to bolo, píše to s cieľom oslobodiť sa. Aj vďaka tejto úprimnosti kniha pôsobí čisto, silno a bojovne. Niečo také je veľmi výnimočné a hlboko to oceňujem.
iglowpinkinthenightinmyroom's review against another edition
Entré sin leer ninguna sinopsis, creo que necesito volver a escucharlo para dar mi opinión... pero que horror
voodoolobster's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
kellymariez's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
medium-paced