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Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood by Gretchen Sisson
jay_sy's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
3.5
Relinquished by Gretchen Sisson is about the American adoption system, with specific focus on the birth mothers.
Thoughts while reading:
-This is such an ignored topic, and it made me realize that even though I consider myself quite progressive and curious, I also rarely think about the situation of mothers who give their children up for adoption (though I have heard that it can often be quite traumatic)
-I’m finding this a very insightful read. It’s interesting that there’s this assumption from officials that women just don’t understand the benefits of relinquishing their children for adoption, yet surveys show that most people understand the benefits of adoption but either would have preferred abortions or to keep their own children
-I like hearing the real life stories and how much they vary. It’s distressing that there are so many adoption agencies that sounds so predatory (including failing to give prospective mothers the idea of all the options and services available to them, as well as using SEO to show adoption options to pregnant women who might not have even been considering it)
-It’s quite interesting to learn that the women who are interested in adoptions aren’t typically the same women interested in abortions. Often, women who give up their children would otherwise want to keep the children but can’t due to constraints (eg finances, lack of housing, lack of support, etc)
-I can’t imagine how hard it would be to find an adoptive family that fits your values, nevermind one that can teach your history or race. It’s appalling how little information adoption agencies give to birth mothers, and how so few places protect birth mothers’ rights
-I had never considered how bad media portray was of relinquishing mothers
This was a very informative read on a perspective that doesn't get enough attention. For anyone interested in adoption, it's definitely worth checking out. I would give it a 3.5 out of 5
Thoughts while reading:
-This is such an ignored topic, and it made me realize that even though I consider myself quite progressive and curious, I also rarely think about the situation of mothers who give their children up for adoption (though I have heard that it can often be quite traumatic)
-I’m finding this a very insightful read. It’s interesting that there’s this assumption from officials that women just don’t understand the benefits of relinquishing their children for adoption, yet surveys show that most people understand the benefits of adoption but either would have preferred abortions or to keep their own children
-I like hearing the real life stories and how much they vary. It’s distressing that there are so many adoption agencies that sounds so predatory (including failing to give prospective mothers the idea of all the options and services available to them, as well as using SEO to show adoption options to pregnant women who might not have even been considering it)
-It’s quite interesting to learn that the women who are interested in adoptions aren’t typically the same women interested in abortions. Often, women who give up their children would otherwise want to keep the children but can’t due to constraints (eg finances, lack of housing, lack of support, etc)
-I can’t imagine how hard it would be to find an adoptive family that fits your values, nevermind one that can teach your history or race. It’s appalling how little information adoption agencies give to birth mothers, and how so few places protect birth mothers’ rights
-I had never considered how bad media portray was of relinquishing mothers
This was a very informative read on a perspective that doesn't get enough attention. For anyone interested in adoption, it's definitely worth checking out. I would give it a 3.5 out of 5
sarahataz's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
annchoviereads's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
sallysimply's review against another edition
5.0
A fantastic book that I’ll be recommending to anyone who will listen.
Changing (and, honestly, increasing) our understanding of adoption is crucial to the future of reproductive justice in the U.S., particularly for those of us who care about abortion, parenting, motherhood, and creating a more equitable society. As someone who is childfree by choice, I had never really considered things like the power imbalance at play, the demographics of folks who adopt and folks who relinquish, or what all of that means politically. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while!
Relinquished is essential reading for anyone considering adoption, anyone who sees themselves as pro-choice, and anyone who has pro-life folks in their orbit who tout the value of adoption. (It is essential reading for folks who consider themselves pro-life as well, I just have a feeling they won’t be super inclined to read it? But who knows! Recommend it to them, too.)
Changing (and, honestly, increasing) our understanding of adoption is crucial to the future of reproductive justice in the U.S., particularly for those of us who care about abortion, parenting, motherhood, and creating a more equitable society. As someone who is childfree by choice, I had never really considered things like the power imbalance at play, the demographics of folks who adopt and folks who relinquish, or what all of that means politically. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while!
Relinquished is essential reading for anyone considering adoption, anyone who sees themselves as pro-choice, and anyone who has pro-life folks in their orbit who tout the value of adoption. (It is essential reading for folks who consider themselves pro-life as well, I just have a feeling they won’t be super inclined to read it? But who knows! Recommend it to them, too.)
yv_tte's review against another edition
emotional
informative
medium-paced
5.0
REALLY good book to understand adoption and how it affects birth mothers in a society that sidelines them in favor of adoptive parents.
lizmart88's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Forget what you think you know about adoption - this book will upend everything you think you know. It comes from what should be the most authoritative source on adoption - biological mothers - and yet, their voices are so often missing from the discussion of adoption. Sisson has done the work, interviewing so many parents and taking the time to interview them throughout the years to see how their views have changed (spoiler alert: almost every mother interviewed regrets choosing adoption in some way). This book is hard to read because its so raw. I had a lot of trouble getting through reading about the pain and heartbreak and challenges mothers faced as they navigated unplanned pregnancies and choosing adoption, and the massive unfairness afterward as well as they received little to no mental health care or support at all. I can't recommend it enough.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion and Abandonment