beebowbabe's review against another edition

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emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.25


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shermansays's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

A must read for anyone who grew up with the expectations of becoming a woman. 

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sweetchocolatez's review against another edition

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4.75


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novella42's review against another edition

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5.0

 Probably one of the books I recommend the most. I’ve read it something like five times in the last four years. It includes very accessible science and phenomenal strategies on how to process and release the stress that builds up in our bodies over years of repression. Introduced me to the concept of body language as in “learn to speak the language of your body” instead of just ignoring and hating it and wondering why it’s constantly rebelling against me. It helped me see emotions as information from my body and nervous system, and it helped me truly understand why the only way out is through—that emotions only feel like they last forever if we resist them.

"The quality of our lives is not measured by the amount of time we spend in a state of perfection." 

"To be “well” is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm, but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement, back to safety and calm, and out again. Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you."

“So how much rest is adequate? Science says: 42 percent. That’s the percentage of time your body and brain need you to spend resting. It’s about ten hours out of every twenty-four. It doesn’t have to be every day; it can average out over a week or a month or more. But yeah. That much. ‘That’s ridiculous! I don’t have that kind of time!’ you might protest—and we remind you that we predicted you might feel that way, back at the start of the chapter. We’re not saying you should take 42 percent of your time to rest; we’re saying that if you don’t take the 42 percent, the 42 percent will take you. It will grab you by the face, shove you to the ground, put its foot on your chest, and declare itself the victor.”

Read it for the chapters on fight/flight/freeze, on escaping the cycle of learned helplessness, and ESPECIALLY for the chapter on processing stress while laying in bed. (It’s not a perfect alternative to physical exercise, but a literal lifesaver when you’re disabled and struggling). I honestly don’t know who I would be if I hadn’t had these specific exercises during 2020-2024. 

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juditkovacs's review against another edition

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slow-paced
This book cannot be serious. This has to be satire. 
If it's not then it's helluva cynical cash grab. This is the most incompetently written book I have ever read. And the "advice" in it is toxic af. 

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kcarney86's review against another edition

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3.75


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anniefwrites's review against another edition

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hopeful informative medium-paced
I learned a lot from this book, and I’m still processing it all. I heard the authors on Brené Brown’s podcast and resonated with the idea of completing the stress cycle, and I found that part of the book the most useful and eye-opening. Some of it I found a little too conversational or simple for people who are decently versed in feminism, but there are a lot of gems and nuggets of knowledge in it. I haven’t done the exercises yet, so I’m hoping they’ll crack open some of the more abstract ideas they presented. 

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zombiezami's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative

2.75

This book was different from what I thought it would be based on the title, and it had a lot of helpful reminders and insights about taking care of yourself in a socially mediated way. However, the authors completely lost me in the penultimate chapter with the inner "mad woman" talk. It felt very disconnected from the compassionate way that the authors had discussed mental illness in previous chapters. They even unwittingly compared the inner "mad woman" to a demon. The 19th century called; they want their stigmatization of the mentally ill back. 

Other than that, the science that they presented, other than the part about completing the stress cycle, didn't really seem that new or groundbreaking to me.   

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