Scan barcode
bellas__book_nook's review
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
1.75
I actually hated this book there were too many exclamation points and the dialougue was stupid. the plot moved so fast and nothing meant anything. when they wanted to tell luke about their relationship that couldve been another source of conflict but instead he just accepted it without a fight. “Well, Holly, I might be innocent, but in the bedroom, it's different. I don’t think Zane is thinking of you while I wear his hand like a necklace, and he fucks me raw, yelling that he loves me as he cums. Since we live together, he has bent me over every surface and fucked me without a condom over and over, going to sleep telling me how much he loves me each night. He claims me out in public." babe why the fuck would you say this in public in front of that poor cashier. they really had no shame in telling strangers or antagonists their business or sex life like that's private FOR A REASON WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THEM MORE AMMUNITION AGAINST YOU
mylastromancenovel's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Disclaimer: I received a review copy for free and am leaving this review voluntarily.
General Thoughts: The premise of this one was good, and the characters themselves were cute. I also really liked the relationship-building between Zane and Fiona, and I thought the characters were interesting, too. There are cute themes and scenes, and I liked several things about it.
While I think Mariah has a lot of potential and others may have really loved this, the book had a very distinctive, unique writing style that didn’t quite work for me. Not every book is for everyone. While there were definitely things I liked, and the overall story arc itself was good, the actual writing style wasn’t my favorite and detracted from the story for me.
I wish the author the best of luck with her journey. It’s available on KU, and you could test a sample. If the writing style is your type, the story is cute. However, I think the author could benefit from a bit more editing and beta reading. She has great ideas; I just wanted more polish in the writing itself.
Steam Meter: ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 Steamy and for over 18. Kinky.
Romantic Tropes
-best friend/teammate’s sister
-dual pov
-realistic contemporary romance
-steamy
-hockey romance
-sports romance
-one bed trope
-college romance
You can read more of my reviews at mylastromance.com. You can also find me on Insta @mylastromancenovel.
General Thoughts: The premise of this one was good, and the characters themselves were cute. I also really liked the relationship-building between Zane and Fiona, and I thought the characters were interesting, too. There are cute themes and scenes, and I liked several things about it.
While I think Mariah has a lot of potential and others may have really loved this, the book had a very distinctive, unique writing style that didn’t quite work for me. Not every book is for everyone. While there were definitely things I liked, and the overall story arc itself was good, the actual writing style wasn’t my favorite and detracted from the story for me.
I wish the author the best of luck with her journey. It’s available on KU, and you could test a sample. If the writing style is your type, the story is cute. However, I think the author could benefit from a bit more editing and beta reading. She has great ideas; I just wanted more polish in the writing itself.
Steam Meter: ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 Steamy and for over 18. Kinky.
Romantic Tropes
-best friend/teammate’s sister
-dual pov
-realistic contemporary romance
-steamy
-hockey romance
-sports romance
-one bed trope
-college romance
You can read more of my reviews at mylastromance.com. You can also find me on Insta @mylastromancenovel.
megallenbooks's review
Badly written. Both in style and substance. Within the first 5% you are name dumped a million characters (clearly in the effort to set up other books in the series), there are issues with tense and grammar and the main characters are so stereotypical they are dull.
Also there is not an intern in the world who get's their own luxury office with their name on the door.
Also there is not an intern in the world who get's their own luxury office with their name on the door.
celestial_inkblots's review
3.0
Normally, I would probably give a book like this 2 stars but not because of the story. The story itself is why I'm giving this 3 stars. If you are looking for a mostly low drama, wholesome book to read for a little awhile with spice thrown in (like literally every chapter after they get together) then this is the book for you. The story itself was good to give that sort of story and the stakes aren't ever too high (i.e. fatal injuries, accidents, deaths and the such).
I picked this up after finding it on TikTok and if I am being fully honest, if it wasn't the author's debut, I might've DNF the book, and you might wonder why? Well, there were serious issues with formatting in the writing that (as a designer and writer myself) was giving me a colossal headache while reading the entire time. No one wants to keep a reading a book that's going to give them a headache because it was poorly formatted. There are entire blocks of dialogue between charters bleeding into each other. Which I was surprised by when I saw there was an editor credited. Like how would that pass the editor? I don't know if the author nor the editor even knew that dialogue is supposed to break every paragraph because it provides that mental break that tells the reader that the person talking has changed.
Besides that note, I would also say the story is insanely dense with 'telling' of stuff that just wasn't needed. It just padded the book to be longer than it really should have been. Readers really don't need a play-by-play of every single day of the week to know the characters' relationship is good or not good. That can be done in a one paragraph recap of sorts when we get back to the character a few days later when something actually important comes up. The only reason I can think the author left so much of the dense 'telling over showing' passages is because they had tiny little interacts between characters that showed they cared for one another. Like he dropped off a McDonald's coke in her office or brought food by even though she was busy working. But I really think that is just as successful if it was rewritten like "Over the past few days, I fell into a rhythm of dropping off her McDonald's coke to her office before heading down to practice." Suddenly, we skipped the unnecessary blocks of every day random stuff and cut straight to the part that was important about those paragraphs.
Ultimately, I ground my teeth out to finish the cozy little book. It was a debut book by an indie author and sometimes these issues happen either because the book was rushed to the platform or because the author simply didn't know better about these issues. That happens when you're basically a one person team to get your book out there. I get it happens and I don't want to discourage the author from continuing the series, but I hope they can also take some insight and make changes to the next one to make it better.
I found it odd that the couple seemed to end up together so quickly at the beginning, but after the book, I realized why. The book was less about the typical, 'how we met and fell in love against our better judgements' story line to a 'how we fell in love by being together and became better people for it' story instead and that kinda made me forgive how quickly both characters ended up letting go of their reasons to not be together over being together. Because I don't think enough romances give into that second story line as often because usually there is more tension with the first. But it made this one stand out for it.
To the author specifically: You made delightful characters. They had voices and feelings. But don't be quick to also pull the trigger for all of it to come out at once. Listen to some dialogue when in a coffee shop or in public spaces. (Trust, I know it feels awkward as hell.) But there's a reason an exercise like this helps writers, though. People naturally speak more close to cuff. They don't realize they are doing. But people just don't want to dive into a monologue when they speak. Its exhausting and it's tedious. People are quick minded and always going to be rushing to the next thing. (Literally, I've seen research studies that show that the average attention span has deceased to less than that of a goldfish, and you don't want to lose a reader because they lost interest with your book.) There were multiple times where it felt the characters were word vomiting on the page. It left nothing to be desired from the interaction and left the interaction stiff.
Also get some alpha readers for the next one, I think that can help you avoid the unnecessary long blocks that I can see most people jumping over and not bothering to read just to skip to the important stuff. They can also help you catch the errors in formatting like the dialogue situation that happens in this one.
You did a great job of putting yourself out there, and I hope you keep this momentum to keep going. And if you ever need a writer friend - well, I'd be happy to help and put my creative writing minor and nine years of creative writing clubs support to use to bounce ideas off of :) (I could use it since I've been out of school and don't have my clubs anymore xP )
Keep going!
I picked this up after finding it on TikTok and if I am being fully honest, if it wasn't the author's debut, I might've DNF the book, and you might wonder why? Well, there were serious issues with formatting in the writing that (as a designer and writer myself) was giving me a colossal headache while reading the entire time. No one wants to keep a reading a book that's going to give them a headache because it was poorly formatted. There are entire blocks of dialogue between charters bleeding into each other. Which I was surprised by when I saw there was an editor credited. Like how would that pass the editor? I don't know if the author nor the editor even knew that dialogue is supposed to break every paragraph because it provides that mental break that tells the reader that the person talking has changed.
Besides that note, I would also say the story is insanely dense with 'telling' of stuff that just wasn't needed. It just padded the book to be longer than it really should have been. Readers really don't need a play-by-play of every single day of the week to know the characters' relationship is good or not good. That can be done in a one paragraph recap of sorts when we get back to the character a few days later when something actually important comes up. The only reason I can think the author left so much of the dense 'telling over showing' passages is because they had tiny little interacts between characters that showed they cared for one another. Like he dropped off a McDonald's coke in her office or brought food by even though she was busy working. But I really think that is just as successful if it was rewritten like "Over the past few days, I fell into a rhythm of dropping off her McDonald's coke to her office before heading down to practice." Suddenly, we skipped the unnecessary blocks of every day random stuff and cut straight to the part that was important about those paragraphs.
Ultimately, I ground my teeth out to finish the cozy little book. It was a debut book by an indie author and sometimes these issues happen either because the book was rushed to the platform or because the author simply didn't know better about these issues. That happens when you're basically a one person team to get your book out there. I get it happens and I don't want to discourage the author from continuing the series, but I hope they can also take some insight and make changes to the next one to make it better.
I found it odd that the couple seemed to end up together so quickly at the beginning, but after the book, I realized why. The book was less about the typical, 'how we met and fell in love against our better judgements' story line to a 'how we fell in love by being together and became better people for it' story instead and that kinda made me forgive how quickly both characters ended up letting go of their reasons to not be together over being together. Because I don't think enough romances give into that second story line as often because usually there is more tension with the first. But it made this one stand out for it.
To the author specifically: You made delightful characters. They had voices and feelings. But don't be quick to also pull the trigger for all of it to come out at once. Listen to some dialogue when in a coffee shop or in public spaces. (Trust, I know it feels awkward as hell.) But there's a reason an exercise like this helps writers, though. People naturally speak more close to cuff. They don't realize they are doing. But people just don't want to dive into a monologue when they speak. Its exhausting and it's tedious. People are quick minded and always going to be rushing to the next thing. (Literally, I've seen research studies that show that the average attention span has deceased to less than that of a goldfish, and you don't want to lose a reader because they lost interest with your book.) There were multiple times where it felt the characters were word vomiting on the page. It left nothing to be desired from the interaction and left the interaction stiff.
Spoiler
The biggest one that comes to mind off the cuff is the interaction between Luke and Zane. When Zane is confessing he had feelings for Luke's sister, it should feel so much more intense. These guys are best friends and rough hockey players, she's been hurt before by a player, and Luke should not be so easy to give in just because. It least it feels like 'just because'.Also get some alpha readers for the next one, I think that can help you avoid the unnecessary long blocks that I can see most people jumping over and not bothering to read just to skip to the important stuff. They can also help you catch the errors in formatting like the dialogue situation that happens in this one.
You did a great job of putting yourself out there, and I hope you keep this momentum to keep going. And if you ever need a writer friend - well, I'd be happy to help and put my creative writing minor and nine years of creative writing clubs support to use to bounce ideas off of :) (I could use it since I've been out of school and don't have my clubs anymore xP )
Keep going!
serenity81's review
The lack of an editor is STRONG with this one. Missing punctuation, excessive punctuation, phrasing, lack of capitalization, and switching of past and present tense. And come on; whenever someone new speaks, it's a new paragraph. Everyone knows this. This is so far below amateur level. It's horrible.
bookedwithlex's review
this book is the Walmart version of cross check my heart by Mikayla Christy.
kailee_marie05's review
medium-paced
2.0
It was a good story but structurally needed some work. Which made it hard to read and keep interest in the story line
literaryanniee's review
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
More...