Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke

Never read this after having a meal!!!

I had read some vague stuff about how disturbing this book could be, but I was definitely not prepared for whatever the fck this was. I am beyond disgusted. I can enjoy horrible fictional stories but this seems to be out of my taste completely. I just felt so sick and ready to throw up while reading it.

I can understand how someone in such a vulnerable state can go down that route and spiral so fast but the stories (like the baby jesus christ I'M PRAYING THIS NEVER HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE WTF WTF WTF) where way too much for me and too fast. The relationship barely develops, suddenly the convo turns "sexy" but feels more like 50 shades of grey bad ff (eugh) and then THAT. I won't spoil but, just, NO.

The ending was confusing but reading some theories about the cover, I got my horrifying answer 😳 100% not for me.

Content Warnings

jiobiee's review

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dark tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

OVERALL: 7.8/10, or 3.9/5

A deeply disturbing short story. I'm not sure if I should've been the person to read this, knowing now where this goes, but Eric LaRocca's intricate, repugnant prose makes my stomach churn and has embedded itself into the darkest corners of my mind. This is not a work for everyone.

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, told through emails and instant messages in early 2000's chatrooms, follows two lesbians who enter a romantic and sexual... arrangement.

Agnes posts on an LGBT forum trying to sell her antique apple peeler, which may or may not have been touched by some famous old composer, when Zoe reaches out to her with the intent of buying. After learning about her financial and personal troubles, Zoe sends Agnes enough money to cover a couple months' of rent, and suggests that they should enter a slave/master relationship. She agrees, and Agnes is at the behest of Zoe's every whim- even when they become exponentially more depraved. She reaches a breaking point, once, but soon realizes she craves Zoe's approval more than she feels shame about her actions.

I need to address some points mentioned by other reviewers, because as a queer person myself, who has been in queer relationships and despite all appearances continues to be queer, I am deeply uncomfortable by the casual transphobia that runs rampant on this page. The author is, in some way that they are comfortable with defining, nonbinary. Perhaps LaRocca has no issue presenting themselves as masculine- that's fine! But to assume and double down that the author is a cis man when it isn't difficult to see that they aren't, is despicable. Or, perhaps it's only convenient to recognize nonbinary folk when you can infantilize them or use them to further your own narrative. Whatever the case may be, a lot of people have proven to me that they are not the pillars of LGBT+ community or allyship that they claim to be.

I also take issue with the blatant dismissal of the themes and content of the story by labeling it as "offensive trauma porn" and nothing more. We should not limit our community to only indulging in spineless, gutless fluff. Not that the fluff doesn't have it's own value, but queer people are not here to be precious perfect little babies. I am sick and so, very tired, of people trying to sanitize queer content; we are not allowed to bare our souls, tell meaningful stories, or present in any way that shows any ugly bits of humanity. And beyond any of the actual disturbing content- yes, fictional lesbians are allowed to jump into abusive relationships- many real lesbians do!

Which, isn't to say that this work doesn't deserve criticism. It does. Any criticism Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke has gotten, from a narrative, literary standpoint does not bother me in the slightest.

My biggest gripe is that Zoe and Agnes do not have their own distinct voices. I can get past these two texting in the most flowery prose I've ever seen come up in casual conversation (mainly because I have been known to talk like an asshole at times, lol), but unfortunately these two characters feel like they're the same person. I don't think the inclusion of the police report as a means to transition into the story was necessary; it would read just fine without it.

You wouldn't need to tell us that Agnes is dead to know that she is.

Some people take issue with the BDSM themes, viewing it under a critical queer eye, and frankly, to an extent I do agree. It isn't representative of kink. Where I differ, though, is that I don't think the intent was to be representative of kink.I just think Zoe's kind of a freak. Agnes, too, by the end of the story.

I don't take issue with the Agnes' wish to carry a child as a queer person, personally. I am someone who is utterly disgusted, repulsed, and terrified of motherhood and the thought of carrying life within me makes me want to vomit. I hate it. It's the reason why I say that I'm not sure I am the right person to read something like this. But, I'm not every queer person, and I'm certainly not every lesbian- lesbians who want children and want to carry their children do exist. I don't think it's that wild or crazy of an idea, and I didn't pick up on any notion that LaRocca feels like all women feel a pull to motherhood.

Some people said that Agnes and Zoe follow a logic that doesn't make any sense. I disagree. Just because you or I would never jump to any of those same conclusions, does not mean that no one does. Fiction would be boring if people acted purely logically all the time.

There's a sickening sense of impending doom in every word on these pages. There was never a moment where this story didn't feel tense. I think the most chilling part about it, to me, was how wholeheartedly devoted Agnes was to Zoe,

to the point of obsession. It is a painfully obvious metaphor, to me, that their relationship is supposed to represent this sort of fucked-up progression of toxic relationships. Agnes, broken by her parent's decision to disown her two years ago, broke, and with an almost non-existent support system, becomes susceptible to Zoe's manipulation. Zoe is a sick individual. She realizes this. Her need to get off on having power over Agnes outweighs her desire not to hurt people. Agnes begins to change every aspect of herself to serve Zoe, and obsesses over her, her relationship with her, and her parasite- her "child"- even when Zoe decides that they both have gone too far. Agnes' obsession has grown to such a point that no semblance of identity is left- just the corpse of the parasite remains.

I know people that act like either Zoe or Agnes. They are just as vile. And that is deeply, deeply disturbing.

If any of the subject matter sounds interesting to you, then I would say it is worth a read. Please come to your own conclusions. And again, this story is not for everyone.

"What have you done today to deserve your eyes?"

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