lexiww's review against another edition
4.0
“I have thought about my life in terms of monumental moments that can’t be undone.” So muses 18-year-old Tressa, the protagonist in de Gramont’s latest coming-of-age novel (since Every Little Thing in the World, 2010). Tressa is still actively grieving the death of her soul mate, Luke, and blaming herself for the accident that took his life. Compounding the inconceivable tragedy, Tressa is surrounded by family who shunned their relationship when Luke was alive—because he was her stepbrother. Now they’re exasperated by Tressa’s tenacious hold on his death and her lack of drive toward her future. But what no one knows is that Luke regularly visits Tressa at night, a tangible reminder widening the divide between their old world together and her new “after-Luke” life and stalling any movement Tressa makes toward recovery. But how can you be defined by a love that will never exist again? Does true, abiding love ever diminish, even if the one you love is gone forever? De Gramont beautifully straddles fantasy and reality while delving into the dark (and sometimes dazzling) emotions surrounding love and loss. —Lexi Walters Wright, First published September 15, 2013 (Booklist)
jessicaz's review against another edition
3.0
I remember reading an Onion article years ago where the headline was "Pitchfork gives music a 6" or something like that, and I feel like I'm getting to be that way about books. "Jessica gives books a 3"
I think my barriers to totally accessing this book were the fact I really struggle to swallow anything supernatural that isn't like, campy supernatural. Also, I have a hard time becoming emotionally invested in someone named Tressa.
That being said, this was a very thoughtful book with a message about hope in the midst of tragedy. And I really liked how the ending was so very realistic.
I think my barriers to totally accessing this book were the fact I really struggle to swallow anything supernatural that isn't like, campy supernatural.
Spoiler
If we found out that Tressa was hallucinating the whole thing I could have bought it moreThat being said, this was a very thoughtful book with a message about hope in the midst of tragedy. And I really liked how the ending was so very realistic.
stacyyak's review against another edition
5.0
I'm going to be honest at first this book started off very slow to me. It was hard to get into but all of a sudden there was a change and I couldn't put it down. Tressa and Luke's story is so utterly tragic and the entire time you hope that they can somehow be together but you ultimately know they can't... There's now way that it can end the way you want to. I thought it was so compelling to hear Luke's point of view as I found his sections the most interesting to read... I truly felt for him because he wasn't selfishly upset that he was no longer living but about the people he left behind... Most of whom he didn't get to say goodbye to in any real way.
I finished the last page and for some reason I got this lump in my throat unable to really grasp the words on the page. I couldn't believe it was over... I just wanted to continue.
I finished the last page and for some reason I got this lump in my throat unable to really grasp the words on the page. I couldn't believe it was over... I just wanted to continue.
heykellyjensen's review against another edition
3.0
I think maybe more like a 2.5.
First: don't go in expecting a ghost story, as some reviews have suggested this book may be. It's not. It's pretty much a straight contemporary novel, with maybe an element of magical realism to it, depending upon reader interpretation.
Tressa's been grieving the loss of her boyfriend and step-brother Luke after a terrible accident at the river, for which she feels responsible. But it's not just grief that penetrates Tressa -- it's much, much deeper than that. Near immediately, we're dropped into a world of loss and sadness, which doesn't improve when Tressa's beloved dog becomes very ill and doesn't have much time left himself.
With the new school year beginning, Tressa's repeating senior year at age 19 because of what happened last spring, things should get better. But they don't, at least not initially. She's still seeing and talking to Luke, who does play a role as a ghost in the story. It's minor, more as a means of filling in the gaps of memory and story that Tressa herself has packed away or willfully chosen to ignore. He's less of a ghost who haunts and more of a ghost who informs. And in many instances, it's up to the reader to decide whether his role in the book is a real one or if it's a voice that Tressa allows to share on her behalf.
Making friends at school another year, especially as an outsider, as the person everyone knows as the weird girl who did the thing she did and who lost what she lost, isn't easy. But eventually, she befriends HJ and his sister. HJ is older than Tressa and he's a teacher, but he's young -- 22 or 23. Fresh out of college. And what draws Tressa to him is what it was he said to Kelly, one of Luke's former girlfriends. Over the course of the story, Tressa will learn that
Tressa's family life is exceptionally complicated. For many years, she lived a life of wild travel with her mother, who refused to settle. Her mother who married Paul, who was Luke's father and father of older twin girls; Luke was Tressa's age exactly, since Paul was not Tressa's father. But after years of being wild and free, her mother chooses to return to the first true love of her life Paul, who deserts his wife/Luke and the twin's mother, to be with her. Compared to other books that feature romantic relationships between siblings, what de Gramont does here with Luke and Tressa is tame. They kiss. They've been naked together. But as Luke notes repeatedly, he wasn't with Tressa in the same way he was with his former girlfriend.
While I thought de Gramont did a great job of capturing the weight and heft of grief -- particularly as it manifests in unsavory, complicated, sometimes incomprehensible manners -- there was far too much going on in this book to be completely satisfying. The complicated family set up was over-the-top and because most of the family didn't matter and were written flatly (particularly the little brother and older twin sisters), they just weighed down the story. Moreover, the romance that emerged between step siblings felt forced; where it could have been THE story, where it could have had strength and merit and been a hot-to-discuss element of the plot and about the tangled ways of grief other people could never understand, it wasn't. It just . . . happened. It felt tacked on. Likewise, I had a hard time buying
One thing I did like upon reflection was Tressa's obsession with maps and drawing them. I almost wish this had been pushed a little further. Much of it came because of her wandering with mom early on. It was a way to ground her and give her a sense of purpose when her life felt otherwise untethered. It could have been hit even harder and been more of her means of grounding and stood out even more.
I read this book coming immediately off reading Vikki Wakefield's [b:Friday Brown|13643131|Friday Brown|Vikki Wakefield|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1336642584s/13643131.jpg|19258408] and there were a startling number of similarities: the mother who took a child at a young age from home and wandered. Biological fathers who were absent (though Tressa knows who her father is). Grandparents who end up playing a significant role in the main character's feeling grounded. Relationships with someone who was cast-out (in Wakefield's case, it's Silence and in de Gramont's, it's HJ). They don't end up following the same paths, of course, but it's hard not to compare the lyrical, lush prose of Wakefield's against de Gramont's, which at times feels inflated and propped up by the too-many-dramatic-plot-lines-to-the-story problem. It's serviceable, but it doesn't thrust the story forward in the same manner Wakefield's does.
In no way is this a bad book. Many readers will fall in love with the fact that Luke's voice is present. It makes the crashes Tressa experiences even harder to watch. It is easy to see why she loved him. But this book would have been stronger 100 pages shorter, with some of the convoluted plot pulled out. It almost tried too hard to be edgy and didn't succeed. This makes for a strong read alike to Laura Nowlin's [b:If He Had Been With Me|15835031|If He Had Been With Me|Laura Nowlin|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1348497394s/15835031.jpg|21572230], as readers know from the start there is a death which ravages the main character and that the book will follow her through the grieving process. What makes them even better read alikes is that their paths through grief are so completely different.
First: don't go in expecting a ghost story, as some reviews have suggested this book may be. It's not. It's pretty much a straight contemporary novel, with maybe an element of magical realism to it, depending upon reader interpretation.
Tressa's been grieving the loss of her boyfriend and step-brother Luke after a terrible accident at the river, for which she feels responsible. But it's not just grief that penetrates Tressa -- it's much, much deeper than that.
Spoiler
She's suicidal, and the story opens following her recovery from a failed attempt at ending her life.Spoiler
and partial cause of Luke's deathWith the new school year beginning, Tressa's repeating senior year at age 19 because of what happened last spring, things should get better. But they don't, at least not initially. She's still seeing and talking to Luke, who does play a role as a ghost in the story. It's minor, more as a means of filling in the gaps of memory and story that Tressa herself has packed away or willfully chosen to ignore. He's less of a ghost who haunts and more of a ghost who informs. And in many instances, it's up to the reader to decide whether his role in the book is a real one or if it's a voice that Tressa allows to share on her behalf.
Making friends at school another year, especially as an outsider, as the person everyone knows as the weird girl who did the thing she did and who lost what she lost, isn't easy. But eventually, she befriends HJ and his sister. HJ is older than Tressa and he's a teacher, but he's young -- 22 or 23. Fresh out of college. And what draws Tressa to him is what it was he said to Kelly, one of Luke's former girlfriends.
Spoiler
She admitted to cutting to relieve the pain, and HJ in his wisdom didn't tell Kelly to stop. He instead told her to "don't cut as much." Something about that method of telling her it's okay to feel pain, as long as she doesn't go too far, as long as she makes an effort to improve herself, clicks with Tressa. Of course, that doesn't sit with administration who fires HJ, thus freeing up his time and allowing him and Tressa to become closer. Which they do for the reason that Tressa feels a connection with him and how he allowed Kelly to grieve as she needed to.Spoiler
she has reasons to live and she should continue to find those reasons to make it just one more day. She will -- it's a positive ending -- but she ignores HJ's actual advice of finding something outside of another person to make her reason. She chooses to make HIM her reason. And had the story not ended with the two of them together romantically and "starting fresh" together (even if they didn't necessarily go on a jaunt to Europe together), I would have been more satisfied. But as it ends, Tressa doesn't actually save herself in the story. A boy does. Because the females in this story aren't reliable or worthwhile -- Tressa's mother always disappears and wanders, and her step-sisters are flat characters who are never around or never invested.Tressa's family life is exceptionally complicated. For many years, she lived a life of wild travel with her mother, who refused to settle. Her mother who married Paul, who was Luke's father and father of older twin girls; Luke was Tressa's age exactly, since Paul was not Tressa's father. But after years of being wild and free, her mother chooses to return to the first true love of her life Paul, who deserts his wife/Luke and the twin's mother, to be with her.
Spoiler
And things get more complicated when now in her almost-mid-40s, Tressa's mother decides she needs to have a baby with Paul, who will be their only biological child together. She is now "settled," of course. Except she's not -- Tressa's mom will wander away again conveniently at the end of the book because you can never tame someone like her.While I thought de Gramont did a great job of capturing the weight and heft of grief -- particularly as it manifests in unsavory, complicated, sometimes incomprehensible manners -- there was far too much going on in this book to be completely satisfying. The complicated family set up was over-the-top and because most of the family didn't matter and were written flatly (particularly the little brother and older twin sisters), they just weighed down the story. Moreover, the romance that emerged between step siblings felt forced; where it could have been THE story, where it could have had strength and merit and been a hot-to-discuss element of the plot and about the tangled ways of grief other people could never understand, it wasn't. It just . . . happened. It felt tacked on. Likewise, I had a hard time buying
Spoiler
that Tressa would have to repeat an entire year of school because she missed a few months at the very end of senior year from her suicide attempt and stay at the hospital. Sure "it made things easier for her," as her mother and Paul repeatedly stated, but it also "made things easier" to make the story push forward. She could be 19 and be in a relationship with an older man, no problem. She could be 19 in a school where she had no friends. For a girl who did all right in school, this sort of repeat didn't make a whole lot of sense. In many ways, I think this could have been a more powerful and dynamic and INTERESTING story -- even with its length and string of too-many-things -- if she'd been 19 and thrown into the "real world," whatever that may have looked like. She could have lived at home still.One thing I did like upon reflection was Tressa's obsession with maps and drawing them. I almost wish this had been pushed a little further. Much of it came because of her wandering with mom early on. It was a way to ground her and give her a sense of purpose when her life felt otherwise untethered. It could have been hit even harder and been more of her means of grounding
Spoiler
post suicide attemptI read this book coming immediately off reading Vikki Wakefield's [b:Friday Brown|13643131|Friday Brown|Vikki Wakefield|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1336642584s/13643131.jpg|19258408] and there were a startling number of similarities: the mother who took a child at a young age from home and wandered. Biological fathers who were absent (though Tressa knows who her father is). Grandparents who end up playing a significant role in the main character's feeling grounded. Relationships with someone who was cast-out (in Wakefield's case, it's Silence and in de Gramont's, it's HJ). They don't end up following the same paths, of course, but it's hard not to compare the lyrical, lush prose of Wakefield's against de Gramont's, which at times feels inflated and propped up by the too-many-dramatic-plot-lines-to-the-story problem. It's serviceable, but it doesn't thrust the story forward in the same manner Wakefield's does.
In no way is this a bad book. Many readers will fall in love with the fact that Luke's voice is present. It makes the crashes Tressa experiences even harder to watch. It is easy to see why she loved him. But this book would have been stronger 100 pages shorter, with some of the convoluted plot pulled out. It almost tried too hard to be edgy and didn't succeed. This makes for a strong read alike to Laura Nowlin's [b:If He Had Been With Me|15835031|If He Had Been With Me|Laura Nowlin|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1348497394s/15835031.jpg|21572230], as readers know from the start there is a death which ravages the main character and that the book will follow her through the grieving process. What makes them even better read alikes is that their paths through grief are so completely different.
stephtorr194's review against another edition
5.0
Loved this book way more than I thought I would. Good solid story.
midnightverde's review against another edition
3.0
I’d really give 3.5 stars if I could. It was an interesting, character driven story, but there was a slowness to it that keeps it from being a full four stars for me.
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