functionalstoic's review
5.0
Excellent Book. Timely in the sense that it does an excellent job at "keeping 2 thoughts in your head at the same time"
- We can continue the pursuit of equality for women & girls
- We can ensure boys & men are continuing to succeed at all levels and demographics
- We can continue the pursuit of equality for women & girls
- We can ensure boys & men are continuing to succeed at all levels and demographics
halena's review
2.0
i think there’s a a lot of value here, but the book falls quite short on thoroughly analyzing the social context for why men and boys are at risk currently. i also feel like there’s a pretty heteronormative assumption running through the entire book which the author does address somewhat by touching on the existence of folks who fall outside the gender binary, but the shallowness of this analysis makes the whole book feel kinda flimsy. particularly when it suffers from a bit of redundancy. i think Reeves was halfway there and should’ve gone further.
10_4tina's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
True. Interesting. Important.
But how did we get here? I don't feel like the author adequately addressed why the modern male is struggling, though I think he thoughtfully validated why it matters and potential solutions to the problem.
Overall the book was really interesting and explained things really well noting historical pieces to the pattern that has developed and contrasting men and women in different areas of society like workplaces and education. Working in higher ed, I find this area of study especially intriguing and relevant. I previously worked and a predominately male institution (polytechnic in nature) and now work at a very predominately female institution (music is our thing) and am noticing more and more of Reeve's observations play out in my work. I listened to a couple YouTube talks from Richard Reeves and knew I had to read this book.
I highlighted almost all of the book, but here's some things that stuck out:
1
"When we're young we sneak out of bed to go to parties and when we're old we sneak out of parties to go to bed." - sensation seeking vs. impulse control parts of the brain
2
"technocratic elite"
40% of women earn more than the median man
adjusted gender pay gap is around 5% - 2009 study rural wage gap is not justifying reason to correct a wage gap
3
marriage has become a social choice and not an economic necessity - until the 1970's the typical college graduate female had become a wife within a year of graduation - now only about 1/2 are married in their mid-30s
man the impregnator-protector-provider
the traditional family made men and women necessary
What about your life do you currently find meaningful, fulfilling, or satisfying? What keeps you going and why? - women find more meaning in their lives and from more sources - both are equally likely to say their job is a source of meaning, but in every other domain there was a gender gap (multiple sources of meaning and identity are seen as having "high self complexity") - if there is a setback in one domain, women activate the other identity and restore a positive set of self (if you have a bad day as a mom, you can make up for it by nailing it at work)
5
Opioids - taken to numb pain (perhaps physical pain first, then existential pain) - they are not drugs of inspiration or rebellion but of isolation and retreat
vague, quiet desperation - a gnawing sense of purposelessness
women in poorer neighborhoods see men, including the father of their children, as another mouth to feed
marriage has been transformed from an institution of economic dependency to a joint venture for the purpose of parenting - a commitment device for shared investments of time and money and children (high investment parenting - HIP marriages)
2021 - male friendship recession - 15% of men saying they have no close friendships - only 22% of young men lean on their friends in tough times (36% say their first call is to their parents)
1 in 3 young men living with their parents (2014), more than living with a wife or partner - for women it was the other way around "stay at home sons"
"guyland" failure to launch - "man park" SNL skit
Dandelion vs. Orchid (resiliency vs. sensitivity)
6
When the program requires heavily on a close 1:1 relationship, matching gender of provider and recipient may be important (teachers/learners; mentors/mentees)
7
the math problem of surplus men - men in danger of becoming evolutionary duds will be willing to take serious risks in order to gain access to a mate - commit a crime or fight in a war
prostitutes far outnumber priests and pastors in the US
WEIRD - Western Educated Industrialized Rich Democratic
temper our own natures - don't act on impulse - learn empathy, restraint, reflection - it takes time - it takes boys a little longer than girls
10
Only 3% of Pre-K and kindergarten teachers are men - there are now twice as many women flying US military planes as there are men teaching kindergarten as a share of their profession
"Opportunity Pluralism" - rather than a single, narrow path, there should be many different routes to success
12
16 year old girls close to their fathers have better mental health at the age of 33
Female pharmacists make 94 cents on the male dollar. What has pharmacy done right that law and finance continue to do wrong? The key change has been to make it easier for one pharmacist to substitute for another. Information transferred between pharmacists lead to almost no hourly wage penalty for part-time work in pharmacy. Wages rise with hours in a virtually linear fashion. "A most egalitarian profession"
The option to work part time at the same rate of pay is important - also critical for the preservation of development and promotion opportunities
But how did we get here? I don't feel like the author adequately addressed why the modern male is struggling, though I think he thoughtfully validated why it matters and potential solutions to the problem.
Overall the book was really interesting and explained things really well noting historical pieces to the pattern that has developed and contrasting men and women in different areas of society like workplaces and education. Working in higher ed, I find this area of study especially intriguing and relevant. I previously worked and a predominately male institution (polytechnic in nature) and now work at a very predominately female institution (music is our thing) and am noticing more and more of Reeve's observations play out in my work. I listened to a couple YouTube talks from Richard Reeves and knew I had to read this book.
I highlighted almost all of the book, but here's some things that stuck out:
1
"When we're young we sneak out of bed to go to parties and when we're old we sneak out of parties to go to bed." - sensation seeking vs. impulse control parts of the brain
2
"technocratic elite"
40% of women earn more than the median man
adjusted gender pay gap is around 5% - 2009 study rural wage gap is not justifying reason to correct a wage gap
3
marriage has become a social choice and not an economic necessity - until the 1970's the typical college graduate female had become a wife within a year of graduation - now only about 1/2 are married in their mid-30s
man the impregnator-protector-provider
the traditional family made men and women necessary
What about your life do you currently find meaningful, fulfilling, or satisfying? What keeps you going and why? - women find more meaning in their lives and from more sources - both are equally likely to say their job is a source of meaning, but in every other domain there was a gender gap (multiple sources of meaning and identity are seen as having "high self complexity") - if there is a setback in one domain, women activate the other identity and restore a positive set of self (if you have a bad day as a mom, you can make up for it by nailing it at work)
5
Opioids - taken to numb pain (perhaps physical pain first, then existential pain) - they are not drugs of inspiration or rebellion but of isolation and retreat
vague, quiet desperation - a gnawing sense of purposelessness
women in poorer neighborhoods see men, including the father of their children, as another mouth to feed
marriage has been transformed from an institution of economic dependency to a joint venture for the purpose of parenting - a commitment device for shared investments of time and money and children (high investment parenting - HIP marriages)
2021 - male friendship recession - 15% of men saying they have no close friendships - only 22% of young men lean on their friends in tough times (36% say their first call is to their parents)
1 in 3 young men living with their parents (2014), more than living with a wife or partner - for women it was the other way around "stay at home sons"
"guyland" failure to launch - "man park" SNL skit
Dandelion vs. Orchid (resiliency vs. sensitivity)
6
When the program requires heavily on a close 1:1 relationship, matching gender of provider and recipient may be important (teachers/learners; mentors/mentees)
7
the math problem of surplus men - men in danger of becoming evolutionary duds will be willing to take serious risks in order to gain access to a mate - commit a crime or fight in a war
prostitutes far outnumber priests and pastors in the US
WEIRD - Western Educated Industrialized Rich Democratic
temper our own natures - don't act on impulse - learn empathy, restraint, reflection - it takes time - it takes boys a little longer than girls
10
Only 3% of Pre-K and kindergarten teachers are men - there are now twice as many women flying US military planes as there are men teaching kindergarten as a share of their profession
"Opportunity Pluralism" - rather than a single, narrow path, there should be many different routes to success
12
16 year old girls close to their fathers have better mental health at the age of 33
Female pharmacists make 94 cents on the male dollar. What has pharmacy done right that law and finance continue to do wrong? The key change has been to make it easier for one pharmacist to substitute for another. Information transferred between pharmacists lead to almost no hourly wage penalty for part-time work in pharmacy. Wages rise with hours in a virtually linear fashion. "A most egalitarian profession"
The option to work part time at the same rate of pay is important - also critical for the preservation of development and promotion opportunities
arisa9290275's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
3.0.
Of Boys and Men was recommended to me by a friend. She had pitched it as a book on why men are falling behind women and how it is connected to our societal infrastructure.
The book lays out the facts of the issue which is this: men are falling behind women in achieving higher educational degrees and are losing ground in the labor market and traditional roles in the family. It then argues that both the political left and right are using the gap as a part of their partisan platform which draws attention away from the issue. Finally, the book recommends ways to close that gap, including offering an extra year of school for boys in elementary education, increasing male recruitment efforts in HEAL jobs and vocational training, and advocating for paternal leave.
This was a different read for me and a little uncomfortable, but I recognize and accept the facts laid out in the book (though some do felt like they were cherry-picked). In fact, I even liked most of the solutions that the author brings to the table. However, I felt the middle section on politics was infused with a lot of personal vitriol. Although he attempts to shed light on the wrong of both sides, I felt that he had a conservative leaning from how he wrote and wonder if he carried a political bias over into his research.
Of Boys and Men was recommended to me by a friend. She had pitched it as a book on why men are falling behind women and how it is connected to our societal infrastructure.
The book lays out the facts of the issue which is this: men are falling behind women in achieving higher educational degrees and are losing ground in the labor market and traditional roles in the family. It then argues that both the political left and right are using the gap as a part of their partisan platform which draws attention away from the issue. Finally, the book recommends ways to close that gap, including offering an extra year of school for boys in elementary education, increasing male recruitment efforts in HEAL jobs and vocational training, and advocating for paternal leave.
This was a different read for me and a little uncomfortable, but I recognize and accept the facts laid out in the book (though some do felt like they were cherry-picked). In fact, I even liked most of the solutions that the author brings to the table. However, I felt the middle section on politics was infused with a lot of personal vitriol. Although he attempts to shed light on the wrong of both sides, I felt that he had a conservative leaning from how he wrote and wonder if he carried a political bias over into his research.
matthew2666's review
4.0
If you look past all the Brookings Institute centrist rhetorical equivocation, this is an extremely smart, easy-to-read, and important analysis.