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aspiringorakle's review
4.0
I suppose I was hoping more for a rationale of the problems with homosexuality, and Hill more or less asserted the traditional reading of scripture. In some sense this is valid, and he did his best to show me that understanding precisely why it is bad is not really the question. I always find it hard to object to these kind of books, filled with descriptions of deep suffering and pain--especially this one, with its talk of loneliness, isolation, and desperation to please. Hill's arguments on the whole were convincing, and it was a good read.
lydalbano's review against another edition
5.0
a beautiful and heart wrenching look into Christian suffering through a lens that’s still unfamiliar to me, but so important.
neilrcoulter's review against another edition
5.0
I was looking for books on the topic of Christianity and homosexuality. To be honest, I haven't had many personal encounters with this issue--I haven't known many openly gay people, Christian or not, nor have I been pushed to give an opinion on homosexuality and the church. However, events during the past year in America have forced the issue, and I feel that its irresponsible for a Christian to be uninformed. No longer can I get along with second-hand, half-formed opinions. So, as usual when I want to learn something, I turn to books (not exclusively, and not to aver that books are necessarily the best way to learn about a complex issue). And as I searched online for worthwhile books about homosexuality and Christianity, Wes Hill's Washed and Waiting appeared at the top of a number of lists.
I expected to learn something from Hill about the experience of a gay Christian--and certainly I did get that from Hill. But I didn't expect to be personally challenged and inspired in how I live my own life in faith. Hill begins with his own life, but from his experiences he draws the reader into contemplation on the right way to live as a Christian. I especially enjoyed his thoughts on the idea of self, or personhood. Hill believes that the current discussion about the "homosexual lifestyle" and the choices open to a homosexual Christian is very much about where our concept of the self comes from. Are we autonomous, individual beings? If so, then it makes perfect sense to do what fulfills us as individuals; for the homosexual Christian, this most likely means living in a committed, monogamous same-sex relationship. But if our selfhood comes from our relationship to others, then we are accountable to a wider community, not merely our own individual desires. And as Christians if we truly believe that we belong to a loving God, then our identity comes from God's constant love. Out of this discussion, Hill wrestles with whether we as humans are most fulfilled in a marriage relationship, or whether there is another way of realizing fulfilled selfhood and identity. He concludes that it's wrong to idolize the marriage relationship as necessarily the ultimate fulfillment of human relationship needs. Rather, the New Testament seems to offer the church itself as the community in which we truly find ourselves.
Still, Hill wonders why he has to live a life seemingly destined for loneliness, since he believes his homosexual desires are contrary to God's expectations for human love. His conclusion is that even though his preferences are confusing, contradictory, and seemingly unfair, a celibate life is his act of worship and obedience to God. Rather than pity himself, he considers that every person has inclinations that are contrary to God's law, and we all daily commit to living as we believe God wants us to, even when that goes against what our desires tell us. Homosexuality is an extreme and challenging cross to bear, but Hill is willing to make that difficult commitment. I admire him, and I'm grateful for the ways he challenged me in my own daily struggles. At the heart of Hill's musings is not a cold adherence to some set of impersonal cosmic laws, but rather a perspective of gratitude and love toward a God who always reaches out to us in love.
I'm not expressing any of this very clearly, I know, but Hill puts his thoughts together in a logical, coherent way. Washed and Waiting is a pleasure to read (though achingly sad), and in its very short length (the whole book can be read in just a couple sittings) I was led through a great deal of contemplation and reflection. I know Hill's conclusions will be contested by other gay Christians who have made different choices, and by non-Christians who don't have a basis from which to understand what he is talking about (he was raised in a Fundamentalist background, attended Wheaton College, and has spent his early adulthood in a variety of ministry and church settings), but I hope it will be accepted as at least one valid viewpoint--and a challenging one, at that.
One final thought: throughout the book, Hill references friends who spent time with him in conversation and written correspondence. He looks back at a number of moments as pivotal in his understanding of God's love. As I read excerpts of these letters from his friends, I was struck by how many wise and thoughtful people Hill has known. And I was challenged to try to be that kind of friend to whoever comes into my life. May I not be flippant or hasty, but may I always take the time to really think and pray with my friends, to truly be present with them.
I expected to learn something from Hill about the experience of a gay Christian--and certainly I did get that from Hill. But I didn't expect to be personally challenged and inspired in how I live my own life in faith. Hill begins with his own life, but from his experiences he draws the reader into contemplation on the right way to live as a Christian. I especially enjoyed his thoughts on the idea of self, or personhood. Hill believes that the current discussion about the "homosexual lifestyle" and the choices open to a homosexual Christian is very much about where our concept of the self comes from. Are we autonomous, individual beings? If so, then it makes perfect sense to do what fulfills us as individuals; for the homosexual Christian, this most likely means living in a committed, monogamous same-sex relationship. But if our selfhood comes from our relationship to others, then we are accountable to a wider community, not merely our own individual desires. And as Christians if we truly believe that we belong to a loving God, then our identity comes from God's constant love. Out of this discussion, Hill wrestles with whether we as humans are most fulfilled in a marriage relationship, or whether there is another way of realizing fulfilled selfhood and identity. He concludes that it's wrong to idolize the marriage relationship as necessarily the ultimate fulfillment of human relationship needs. Rather, the New Testament seems to offer the church itself as the community in which we truly find ourselves.
Still, Hill wonders why he has to live a life seemingly destined for loneliness, since he believes his homosexual desires are contrary to God's expectations for human love. His conclusion is that even though his preferences are confusing, contradictory, and seemingly unfair, a celibate life is his act of worship and obedience to God. Rather than pity himself, he considers that every person has inclinations that are contrary to God's law, and we all daily commit to living as we believe God wants us to, even when that goes against what our desires tell us. Homosexuality is an extreme and challenging cross to bear, but Hill is willing to make that difficult commitment. I admire him, and I'm grateful for the ways he challenged me in my own daily struggles. At the heart of Hill's musings is not a cold adherence to some set of impersonal cosmic laws, but rather a perspective of gratitude and love toward a God who always reaches out to us in love.
I'm not expressing any of this very clearly, I know, but Hill puts his thoughts together in a logical, coherent way. Washed and Waiting is a pleasure to read (though achingly sad), and in its very short length (the whole book can be read in just a couple sittings) I was led through a great deal of contemplation and reflection. I know Hill's conclusions will be contested by other gay Christians who have made different choices, and by non-Christians who don't have a basis from which to understand what he is talking about (he was raised in a Fundamentalist background, attended Wheaton College, and has spent his early adulthood in a variety of ministry and church settings), but I hope it will be accepted as at least one valid viewpoint--and a challenging one, at that.
One final thought: throughout the book, Hill references friends who spent time with him in conversation and written correspondence. He looks back at a number of moments as pivotal in his understanding of God's love. As I read excerpts of these letters from his friends, I was struck by how many wise and thoughtful people Hill has known. And I was challenged to try to be that kind of friend to whoever comes into my life. May I not be flippant or hasty, but may I always take the time to really think and pray with my friends, to truly be present with them.
leahegood's review against another edition
4.0
I often struggle with how to shape my response to people with a homosexual orientation. Since it's not something I have needed to confront in a practical way on a daily basis, I typically shove it to a corner of my brain and move on with life. But this book has been on my mental to-read-list for a while and finally jumped to the top.
When I noticed this book last year, it immediately stood out to me. In my sporadic efforts to deepen my perspective on the subject, I'd come to two conclusions. 1) I couldn't accept the popular idea that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and Biblical teachings on the topic are not culturally relevant, and 2) I wasn't comfortably with the large on theology but short on compassion approach taken by many Christians with a more traditional perspective. A book like [b:Washed and Waiting|7994726|Washed and Waiting Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality|Wesley Hill|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327998086l/7994726._SX50_.jpg|12489002] seemed like it would give a new and unique perspective on the subject.
Hearing a defense of sexual relations only in the context of a traditional, heterosexual relationship from the perspective of a man with a homosexual orientation definitely offered a unique look at the subject. It also offered a deeply compassionate view a gay persons struggles.
I really appreciate the author's ability to write this book with a solid defense of a traditional Biblical interpretation of marriage while simultaneously calling for, asking for, fighting for all the depth of love and compassion the people of God can possibly offer to someone with homosexual desires.
This book gave me a lot to think about and ponder, and I'd definitely recommend it to other Christian's who aren't satisfied with recognizing the problem without seeking an option for compassion as well.
When I noticed this book last year, it immediately stood out to me. In my sporadic efforts to deepen my perspective on the subject, I'd come to two conclusions. 1) I couldn't accept the popular idea that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and Biblical teachings on the topic are not culturally relevant, and 2) I wasn't comfortably with the large on theology but short on compassion approach taken by many Christians with a more traditional perspective. A book like [b:Washed and Waiting|7994726|Washed and Waiting Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality|Wesley Hill|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327998086l/7994726._SX50_.jpg|12489002] seemed like it would give a new and unique perspective on the subject.
Hearing a defense of sexual relations only in the context of a traditional, heterosexual relationship from the perspective of a man with a homosexual orientation definitely offered a unique look at the subject. It also offered a deeply compassionate view a gay persons struggles.
I really appreciate the author's ability to write this book with a solid defense of a traditional Biblical interpretation of marriage while simultaneously calling for, asking for, fighting for all the depth of love and compassion the people of God can possibly offer to someone with homosexual desires.
This book gave me a lot to think about and ponder, and I'd definitely recommend it to other Christian's who aren't satisfied with recognizing the problem without seeking an option for compassion as well.
mikepage7176's review against another edition
5.0
This is an amazing book. It was recommended to me by a counselor since a large focus of his pain is the loneliness he experiences. I was often feeling similar as a single hetero Christian.
His story is remarkable and heartbreaking, but like the greatest of all stories, it finds redemption in the pain and suffering. His desire to seek out those that shared his experience to try and understand it better opens the door for lots of exploration and some beautiful prose. He isn't skimming the surface. It's raw and powerful. His self-awareness is commendable and has really opened the door of understanding for those that relate, even in limited fashion.
It's a great book
His story is remarkable and heartbreaking, but like the greatest of all stories, it finds redemption in the pain and suffering. His desire to seek out those that shared his experience to try and understand it better opens the door for lots of exploration and some beautiful prose. He isn't skimming the surface. It's raw and powerful. His self-awareness is commendable and has really opened the door of understanding for those that relate, even in limited fashion.
It's a great book
finalefile's review against another edition
5.0
I wanted to read this book because I've been reading a lot about Christian perspectives on LGBTQ+ people the past few years. I thought this would be yet another memoir that throws in some Bible verses here and there, though unlike most of what I've read, this book is anti-homosexual relationships. (I still don't know where I should stand regarding this issue; I'm glad I'm not gay myself, so that I don't actually have to make up my mind on this one way or the other anytime soon.)
But this book was SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. It's not just a memoir about struggles with one's sexuality. It's a deep, vulnerable look at the author's religious beliefs, his temptations, and his experiences. Unexpectedly, I saw myself in much of this book. Though I don't experience Hill's sexual temptations, I felt that almost everything he wrote was true of me, too. Both he and I are non-heterosexual Christians (he is gay and I am asexual) who have felt for much of our lives that we are somehow on the outside looking in. Heterosexual Christians can seem to have it so easy. Hill writes in heartwrenching detail about the loneliness he struggles with, a loneliness that I have also felt quite strongly for years now. I particularly felt his pain when he describes his fear of eventually losing all of his friends due to them getting married or moving away. I feel so much less alone in my sorrows and fears now that I've read this book.
Washed and Waiting contains a deep, authentic, and heartfelt exploration of theological concepts that both Hill and I may continue to struggle with for a long time. What is the correct balance between "enjoying life to the fullest" and "bearing in our body the sufferings of Christ"? How is God present in our struggles? Should we see ourselves as the lowliest of the low due to our sinful nature, or rejoice in how much God cares about us? Will our faithful obedience to God be worth it in the end?
I've been waiting to read a book like this for a long while. It's so refreshing to read a Christian memoir that doesn't end with some variation of "I had some tough times but now I'm married and have kids and life is pretty awesome!" Washed and Waiting doesn't try to tie up all the loose ends. Hill knows that there are "thorns in the flesh" that we may perpetually suffer from. But he shows us that through Jesus, somehow we will be okay.
But this book was SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. It's not just a memoir about struggles with one's sexuality. It's a deep, vulnerable look at the author's religious beliefs, his temptations, and his experiences. Unexpectedly, I saw myself in much of this book. Though I don't experience Hill's sexual temptations, I felt that almost everything he wrote was true of me, too. Both he and I are non-heterosexual Christians (he is gay and I am asexual) who have felt for much of our lives that we are somehow on the outside looking in. Heterosexual Christians can seem to have it so easy. Hill writes in heartwrenching detail about the loneliness he struggles with, a loneliness that I have also felt quite strongly for years now. I particularly felt his pain when he describes his fear of eventually losing all of his friends due to them getting married or moving away. I feel so much less alone in my sorrows and fears now that I've read this book.
Washed and Waiting contains a deep, authentic, and heartfelt exploration of theological concepts that both Hill and I may continue to struggle with for a long time. What is the correct balance between "enjoying life to the fullest" and "bearing in our body the sufferings of Christ"? How is God present in our struggles? Should we see ourselves as the lowliest of the low due to our sinful nature, or rejoice in how much God cares about us? Will our faithful obedience to God be worth it in the end?
I've been waiting to read a book like this for a long while. It's so refreshing to read a Christian memoir that doesn't end with some variation of "I had some tough times but now I'm married and have kids and life is pretty awesome!" Washed and Waiting doesn't try to tie up all the loose ends. Hill knows that there are "thorns in the flesh" that we may perpetually suffer from. But he shows us that through Jesus, somehow we will be okay.
xoffelokin's review against another edition
5.0
i've been really trying to only read books on this topic by actual lgbt people, as a lot of the time they can come across very disconnected/downright cruel when they aren't. and this one was very good, and very well done. i really appreciate how he comments on how he couldn't just mind over matter himself straight. also, his talks about loneliness was really relatable-i'm not gay, but i'm an older single christian, and his talks on that was actually really encouraging. really really recommend whether you are gay or want to understand more!
levelstory's review against another edition
UPDATE - This review is old and does not reflect my current opinions.
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I bought this book at a bargain store randomly and had not heard anything of it previously. I didn't read it right away though. The book I got to first was similar in topic, Torn by Justin Lee. I read that and found the entire subject of gay marriage and the gay vs Christian debate to be utterly fascinating and misconceived in today's culture...well, it has been misconceived in practically every culture but today's culture especially has a sugar coated and ignorant view on the issue. Anyway, I finally came to this book a few months after reading Torn and I made a point to see how this book compared not in the ultimate message of what it means to be gay in the church or why this is an important issue or what the author's stance on the issue was but rather how it compared in writing style. I found Hill's writing style to be an utter drag. Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. His story was relatable and heart wrenching and blunt. But relatability and sympathy in a narrative don't make it good. What makes it good is how well written it is and this book was not particularly well written. I found it is be utterly dull and dragging. It took so much effort just to get through one chapter which was usually super long and just another turn off to the book. The middle of the book seemed to go uphill in quality but quickly went back down toward the end. I don't plan on keeping the book. Yes I feel it was an important read and I am really glad someone is adding to the conversation in a unique way but this book really didn't hook me or make me passionate about it's topic quite like Justin Lee did with Torn, which was written much better than this book but had a bit of a different angle and overall message. So I give this book 3 out of 5 stars because yes the topic is interesting and it is awesome to see some more literature on the issue but the writing was not nearly as good as I would have hoped. I should also add that there were some sections in the book that were well written but glimpses of good writing isn't enough to make a book written well overall.
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I bought this book at a bargain store randomly and had not heard anything of it previously. I didn't read it right away though. The book I got to first was similar in topic, Torn by Justin Lee. I read that and found the entire subject of gay marriage and the gay vs Christian debate to be utterly fascinating and misconceived in today's culture...well, it has been misconceived in practically every culture but today's culture especially has a sugar coated and ignorant view on the issue. Anyway, I finally came to this book a few months after reading Torn and I made a point to see how this book compared not in the ultimate message of what it means to be gay in the church or why this is an important issue or what the author's stance on the issue was but rather how it compared in writing style. I found Hill's writing style to be an utter drag. Please don't misinterpret what I am saying. His story was relatable and heart wrenching and blunt. But relatability and sympathy in a narrative don't make it good. What makes it good is how well written it is and this book was not particularly well written. I found it is be utterly dull and dragging. It took so much effort just to get through one chapter which was usually super long and just another turn off to the book. The middle of the book seemed to go uphill in quality but quickly went back down toward the end. I don't plan on keeping the book. Yes I feel it was an important read and I am really glad someone is adding to the conversation in a unique way but this book really didn't hook me or make me passionate about it's topic quite like Justin Lee did with Torn, which was written much better than this book but had a bit of a different angle and overall message. So I give this book 3 out of 5 stars because yes the topic is interesting and it is awesome to see some more literature on the issue but the writing was not nearly as good as I would have hoped. I should also add that there were some sections in the book that were well written but glimpses of good writing isn't enough to make a book written well overall.