jennf4's review against another edition
5.0
Willpower is like a muscle - it can fatigue and it needs rest. Those with the greatest perceived willpower are actually better at planning easy ways to avoid constant challenges to their willpower. I found it interesting that willpower can be strongest right after eating, but this is not a benefit for those that are trying to use willpower to curb eating. I have used the technique by eating a small treat before going into a job review. It helps to make you feel less sensitive to criticism and more confident. This book focuses on the study of willpower in different applications such as parenting and dieting, and cites many studies on how people control themselves. I learned a lot and plan on reading this book again.
crystalshoe1's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
emmanuelbg's review against another edition
1.0
Ich mag diese Art Bücher nicht, wo der Author eine gewaltige Menge von Studien zitiert nur um das Buch länger zu machen, wenn man die grundlegende Ideen kurz und bündig auzudrücken sind. Noch schlimmer ist die Tatsache, dass die zitierten Studien kaum mit dem Thema im Zusammenhang stehen.
Langweilig und langsam. Nicht empfohlen.
Langweilig und langsam. Nicht empfohlen.
aminowrimo's review against another edition
5.0
This was a great book about... (what else) willpower and self-control. Because I like these two things, a lot, I borrowed it from the library.
It's organized with ten chapters and a conclusion, which provides a summary of the book. If you're in a hurry, the conclusion is the thing to read.
The gist of the book, for both my own and others' use:
- You have a finite amount of willpower, and you use this same cache of willpower for everything you do.
- People in messy rooms exhibit less self-control than those in clean rooms.
- Clean rooms (and websites) unconsciously guide us to making more self-disciplined decisions.
- Both proximal (short-term) and distal (long-term) goals are necessary.
- With a focus on a specific goal for each session, students learn better and faster.
- However, with a distal goal, (5-10 years in the future), students tend to do better in school.
- Monthly plans are better than daily plans.
- High levels are defined by abstraction and long-term goals. Low levels are the opposite. Asking "why" -> high levels, asking "how" -> low levels. After engaging in high-level thinking, people are more likely to pass up a quick reward for something better in future. They can hold on longer to a handgrip. A narrow, concrete, here-and-now mentality works against self-control.
- Telling a story forces you to organize your thoughts, monitor your behavior, and discuss goals for the future.
- Resolutions are more likely to be kept if they are made in the company of other people, especially a romantic partner.
- Telling yourself you're going to do something later often serves to make you no longer 'crave' the thing at all. (For example, eating M&Ms... think I'm going to do it later. Then later, when presented with the M&Ms, you are likely to eat less than people who gorged themselves on M&Ms or than people who restrained themselves from eating M&Ms.)
- Use If x then y to create automatic behavior in certain situations. (For example, if I am offered champagne, I will politely say no.)
- Everything you don't do that you want to do and everything you do that you don't want to do depletes willpower. Giving in (or giving up) doesn't replenish willpower, it just stops more from being used up. Watch for symptoms: are you more reluctant to make a decision? Are you very frustrated about minor things? Beware of making long-term decisions during this time because you're more likely to take short-term benefits over long-term ones. Eat some healthy food, wait half an hour, then make the decisions.
- Make a to-do list, or at least a Next Action list.
- Get enough healthy food and sleep on a regular basis.
- If I can't X, I'll do nothing. <- leads to productivity.
- Monitoring (the more often the better) is crucial.
- When you set a goal, offer yourself a reward for reaching it and then don't stiff yourself.
- People with more willpower are more likely to donate to charity, to do volunteer work, and to offer their own homes as shelter to saomeone who has none.
It's organized with ten chapters and a conclusion, which provides a summary of the book. If you're in a hurry, the conclusion is the thing to read.
The gist of the book, for both my own and others' use:
- You have a finite amount of willpower, and you use this same cache of willpower for everything you do.
- People in messy rooms exhibit less self-control than those in clean rooms.
- Clean rooms (and websites) unconsciously guide us to making more self-disciplined decisions.
- Both proximal (short-term) and distal (long-term) goals are necessary.
- With a focus on a specific goal for each session, students learn better and faster.
- However, with a distal goal, (5-10 years in the future), students tend to do better in school.
- Monthly plans are better than daily plans.
- High levels are defined by abstraction and long-term goals. Low levels are the opposite. Asking "why" -> high levels, asking "how" -> low levels. After engaging in high-level thinking, people are more likely to pass up a quick reward for something better in future. They can hold on longer to a handgrip. A narrow, concrete, here-and-now mentality works against self-control.
- Telling a story forces you to organize your thoughts, monitor your behavior, and discuss goals for the future.
- Resolutions are more likely to be kept if they are made in the company of other people, especially a romantic partner.
- Telling yourself you're going to do something later often serves to make you no longer 'crave' the thing at all. (For example, eating M&Ms... think I'm going to do it later. Then later, when presented with the M&Ms, you are likely to eat less than people who gorged themselves on M&Ms or than people who restrained themselves from eating M&Ms.)
- Use If x then y to create automatic behavior in certain situations. (For example, if I am offered champagne, I will politely say no.)
- Everything you don't do that you want to do and everything you do that you don't want to do depletes willpower. Giving in (or giving up) doesn't replenish willpower, it just stops more from being used up. Watch for symptoms: are you more reluctant to make a decision? Are you very frustrated about minor things? Beware of making long-term decisions during this time because you're more likely to take short-term benefits over long-term ones. Eat some healthy food, wait half an hour, then make the decisions.
- Make a to-do list, or at least a Next Action list.
- Get enough healthy food and sleep on a regular basis.
- If I can't X, I'll do nothing. <- leads to productivity.
- Monitoring (the more often the better) is crucial.
- When you set a goal, offer yourself a reward for reaching it and then don't stiff yourself.
- People with more willpower are more likely to donate to charity, to do volunteer work, and to offer their own homes as shelter to saomeone who has none.
trickyplanet's review against another edition
4.0
Very insightful about ways to manage willpower. Now if I can put it to use....
shallowdepths's review against another edition
3.0
A decent overview of where our current understanding of willpower comes from. These ideas are becoming more controversial as people look more closely at these studies and fail at trying to replicate many of them, but it's still important background about current ideas.
This book sure does show how many core ideas about how people behave come from lecturers studying their students, and never looking outside that demographic. Not worthless, but I hope we can do better.
This book sure does show how many core ideas about how people behave come from lecturers studying their students, and never looking outside that demographic. Not worthless, but I hope we can do better.
shiradest's review against another edition
4.0
So I wasn't wrong, and it wasn't my imagination after all: the self-esteem movement does produce narcissists, and does not make "children any more successful, honest or otherwise better citizens."
Wow, the difference between Chinese and American toddlers seems to show clearly that the higher expectations for self-control (their 2-yr olds have the self-control of our 3-4 yr olds?!) lead to higher levels of self-discipline by the time they get to school, "low levels of narcissism, and later successes."
-Ok, so when my Principal told me I was being too harsh on the 7th graders, she was indeed wrong. Thank you, even if that doesn't get me my job back.
Wow, the difference between Chinese and American toddlers seems to show clearly that the higher expectations for self-control (their 2-yr olds have the self-control of our 3-4 yr olds?!) lead to higher levels of self-discipline by the time they get to school, "low levels of narcissism, and later successes."
-Ok, so when my Principal told me I was being too harsh on the 7th graders, she was indeed wrong. Thank you, even if that doesn't get me my job back.
epersonae's review against another edition
4.0
I like what I read, but hilariously enough, I had a hard time getting myself to finish. I think because it touched some raw nerves, and I would've rather been knitting.
avrilhj's review against another edition
3.0
I decided to read this because the vow to 'live a holy and disciplined life' was the ordination vow that troubled me most, and because 'self control' is the fruit of the Spirit that I feel I most lack. So despite the fact that the tag line of this book is "Why Self-Control is the Secret to Success," and 'success' isn't really what I'm looking for, I checked it out.
It is definitely 'pop psychology' both in the sense that psychological studies have been turned into easy reading for non-psychologists, and because the exemplars of the various strategies tend to be celebrities. I'm not sure that I trust the strategies more because they work for Drew Carey or Eric Clapton - or don't work in the case of Oprah Winfrey and weight loss.
There's definitely some potentially useful ideas here. But I won't know how useful they are until I've tried them. If they work, I'll have to come back and increase the number of stars I've given.
It is definitely 'pop psychology' both in the sense that psychological studies have been turned into easy reading for non-psychologists, and because the exemplars of the various strategies tend to be celebrities. I'm not sure that I trust the strategies more because they work for Drew Carey or Eric Clapton - or don't work in the case of Oprah Winfrey and weight loss.
There's definitely some potentially useful ideas here. But I won't know how useful they are until I've tried them. If they work, I'll have to come back and increase the number of stars I've given.