sweddy65's review against another edition
3.0
I kept saying to my sweetie: "I'm sure this book speaks to some people, but it doesn't speak to me."
I did not love this memoir, but respected the story and the storytelling.
I did not love this memoir, but respected the story and the storytelling.
alihewitt's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.5
crabbygirl's review against another edition
5.0
an at times brutally honest memoir of her parent's lives and their final months in her (somewhat) care, being placed in a nursing home a short walk away from the author's home. The prose was often beautiful, the honesty was overwhelming; it was like she was finally released from her parents' judgement/feelings and just faced her memories of them head on
it made me think of how my mother has both the privilege and burden to be seen as a single entity. when I age and my kids think of me, it will likely be as a half of a whole - mom & dad - never as a person in my own right.
it made me think of how my mother has both the privilege and burden to be seen as a single entity. when I age and my kids think of me, it will likely be as a half of a whole - mom & dad - never as a person in my own right.
kather21's review against another edition
3.0
Really liked the authors self-examination during a very difficult time.
clyssandre's review against another edition
5.0
"People are quick to make the same point, that the child looking after the parents is doing so because she wants to. If only it were that simple."
With All Things Consoled, Elizabeth Hay wrote what I found a heart-wrenching memoir about watching one's parents age, get frailer and frailer, and pass away. What made the book so special to me is the honestly of Hay. All Things Consoled is not sugar-coated and as the book progressed, I found it tougher and thougher to read. It really made me wonder how I'll be able to support my own parents when the time comes.
A few points were particularly interesting.
The least you can say is that she has ambivalent feeling towards her father. While taking care of his failing body and mind, she reminisces about his bouts of anger, his harsh words, the abuse... How to reconciliate this? Where to find the grit and the love to support a dying man who inflicted so many wounds on you?
Another theme was the distressing witnessing of a mind slowly dissipating. Hay's mother suffered some form of demencia, and Hay describes remarkably how devastating it was, not the least for her mother who often was lucid enough to notice, but also how much she was still "in there", especially through a particularly poetic way of expressing herself, and her rapture in front of the simple beauty of nature. This is a tough, yet important lesson, which probably Hay didn't intend to impose on us but still did.
Finally, there's something about Hay's identity. What kind of child was she to her parents? Did they love her? Was she the odd duck amongst her siblings? How much did she inherit from both her parents, and exactly how much does she look like the father she sometimes hated? There seems to be something very challenging to our identity in the process of inversing parents and children's role.
This was an excellent, thought-provoking book, but also emotionally hard to read at some point.
With All Things Consoled, Elizabeth Hay wrote what I found a heart-wrenching memoir about watching one's parents age, get frailer and frailer, and pass away. What made the book so special to me is the honestly of Hay. All Things Consoled is not sugar-coated and as the book progressed, I found it tougher and thougher to read. It really made me wonder how I'll be able to support my own parents when the time comes.
A few points were particularly interesting.
The least you can say is that she has ambivalent feeling towards her father. While taking care of his failing body and mind, she reminisces about his bouts of anger, his harsh words, the abuse... How to reconciliate this? Where to find the grit and the love to support a dying man who inflicted so many wounds on you?
Another theme was the distressing witnessing of a mind slowly dissipating. Hay's mother suffered some form of demencia, and Hay describes remarkably how devastating it was, not the least for her mother who often was lucid enough to notice, but also how much she was still "in there", especially through a particularly poetic way of expressing herself, and her rapture in front of the simple beauty of nature. This is a tough, yet important lesson, which probably Hay didn't intend to impose on us but still did.
Finally, there's something about Hay's identity. What kind of child was she to her parents? Did they love her? Was she the odd duck amongst her siblings? How much did she inherit from both her parents, and exactly how much does she look like the father she sometimes hated? There seems to be something very challenging to our identity in the process of inversing parents and children's role.
This was an excellent, thought-provoking book, but also emotionally hard to read at some point.
jacobamol's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
runtobooks's review against another edition
3.0
hmm. not sure why this book is so highly praised in canadian literature circles. i mean, the story was fine, but really nothing special?